How Do You Deal With A Classmate That Thinks They're Ugly When They're Really Not?

Question

I have a muslim friend who just loves to self slander her image. It's bothersome because I've a good idea that she's not fishing for compliments, she's just really that dependent on other people's approval.

I send her spontaneous compliments sometimes, but she just keeps me on read (I'm not hitting on her, she's a fiance and she's not my type) but I think she thinks my compliments are fake or something.

I cant tell if Daria dear is being sarcastic or insecure — I can't tell if Daria dear is being sarcastic or insecure

WonderBell99 · Accepted Answer

Coming from someone who is very insecure about their looks, genuine compliments like “You have a pretty smile.” Or “I love your eyeliner. How did you manage to apply it perfectly?” can make their day.

I get compliments on my eyes often, but I am insecure about my looks because I was constantly put down for it. My relatives often told me that I was “too thin” and it was NOT meant as a compliment. More like a snarky remark. Once, when I was younger, my mother once told me that I looked like a monkey when I cried. It still hurts to this day.

You cannot do anything to make her insecurities disappear, but you can be a good friend and provide emotional support. Whenever I feel sad, my friends cheer me up by complimenting me about something.. but it is ALWAYS genuine.

Her insecurities will go away only when she starts to make some changes about it and starts to see herself as a beautiful human being.

Guy13 · Accepted Answer

Before you get all Sister to Feminist up n her…how much do you know the intricacies of that theocratic culture ⁉️ Parents, Grandparents, and Tribe ⁉️ Her Imam if applicable.
well meaning but confounded Cultural stresses can have devastating effects. Who USA culture and friends thinks she should be verse theocratic Islam/Muslim culture…. You have to be careful that you are not a stressor.

DO LESS and LISTEN MORE. Pry and investigate in an interest, carrying, know about her Person and LEARN first and lead later. LEADERS: Listen, Observe, demonstrate Interest (safe place) for as much as a year before “saving” in this culture.
They respect traditional values unless they are one of the extremist who worship and have fellowship with Hitler and other Jew haters… Seen Hitler framed over mantles in Muslims’ homes, by the way.

BullShark · Accepted Answer

She's riddled with self doubt and is insecure about her looks. No amount of anyone telling her otherwise will make her think different, so it's no use for you to even try. I would know as I'm one of those people.

She's probably insecure about one of her features or traits she doesn't like showing off much, which could be a big reason why, so if you know what they may be, try not to point them out or talk about them to her. The compliment from the right person though, can make a huge difference but again, it depends who the person is, preferably someone's she's romantically interested in, but in the end, it's her who has to believe in herself. Like I said, no amount of anyone saying anything otherwise will make a difference.

AndrésC64 · Answer

It takes a lot of patience. Sometimes it can be quite exasperating to see someone who could literally be on the cover of a magazine whining about how ugly they are. I suppose some of them could be suffering from a mental illness. But I think others are just fishing for compliments and/or trying to get attention.

Pudsmucker · Answer

It's probably because someone in her life has constantly put her down and has given her low self-esteem. It takes a long time to pull a person out of that deep slump of depression. All you can do is give her support. She has to change herself she needs to seek help first before she can change.

TheMajesticKing777 · Answer

Insecurity is real, it's hard to fix them when they are very insecure, maybe if they hear it from others that's not just one and the same person then maybe that will help, preferably people she finds attractive, best of luck

shark58 · Answer

I once got a compliment about my hands. Before that I was never aware that my hands are very beautiful

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yeah, people like that are really annoying. (The ones who ask for compliments and then don't even say thank you when you give them one.)

DavidRaul · Answer

I used to think the same for myself during high school. I got compliments from my friends in college, i didn't believe them. I am starting to believe them now lmao

anton_dee · Answer

Have a private conversation with her and tell her the facts and what she needs to recitfy in her behaviour. If she is intelligent, she will understand. If after that she still continues, it may be deliberate.

MikeInHawaii · Answer

It gets worse with age! I knew a teenage girl who thought she was ugly, I told her that was utter nonsense, she’s absolutely gorgeous , and she blocked me on Fakebook thinking I was hitting on her.

Tstrbrainer · Answer

Fiance? Is her marriage fixed?  Maybe she wants to hear compliments from the one she's going to marry

hafinjun · Answer

No matter the cause I always try to make maximum use of a woman's low self-esteem

pizzalovershouse · Answer

Give them words of encouragement

Guardian45 · Answer

Ya, she needs counseling

How Do You Deal With A Classmate That Thinks They're Ugly When They're Really Not?

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How Do You Deal With A Classmate That Thinks They're Ugly When They're Really Not?

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