Why did my boyfriend send a photo of his ex to her?

[Anonymous]

I saw my bfs iPad when he met me use it. In the messengers I read a thread with him talking to the mother of his child (ex).

She said she missed him and loved him. He then said he had to go and hope she was doing well. She said ok have a goodnight.

20 minutes later he sent a beautiful photo of her in a restaurant as if it was their date night.

What does this mean? Why did he send a photo of her to herself on what it appears to be a possible date night between them?

[Anonymous]

If they have a young child together then there has to be some very clear boundaries, and texting her like that is for sure crossing it. I’m currently in a relationship with a man who has a kid with someone, and he does not communicate with his bm outside of very specific things about their son. Definitely no sending romantic pics or checking in to see how one another is. No secrets (which it looks like your boyfriend is being sneaky. Like would he have told you about those messages if you didn’t see them on your own? Sounds like no). He texts with his phone where I can see, and does things to make me confident he is not disrespecting or cheating on me. Your boyfriend should do the same, because it sounds like him and her could be a thing again at some point.

[Screenwriter]

I have NO IDEA why people give their personal digital devices to other people for them to use and expect that they'll have privacy.

HOWEVER, why were you reading his personal messages!!! His conversation with his child's mother, his titular "ex," is none of your business.

But since you HAVE read his personal messages, it seems only fair that you tell him you did nsince he gave you his IPAD, and his conversation with his "ex" felt suspicious/uncomfortable for you.

Then you get to hear his explanation about the photo, about her confession of love for him and all the mess you've walked into by reading said messages. I admit, none of it sounds particularly good and you may have to prepare yourself for not being involved with a man who has a child with another woman and sends a picture of his ex TO his ex for some unknown reason after her confession of her undying love for him.

Be prepared.

[Asker]

Be prepared for what? Gosh dang you just chewed me up

[Screenwriter]

Be prepared to hear bad news. I'm wondering why your boyfriend would be allowing his ex to speak to him about her love for him and why he's sending a lovely former picture of her TO her. Is he being kind? Or is he entertaining her "love" for him?

If I was speaking to an ex and he said, "You know I still love you." I'd say, look, we're broken up and I'm not in love with you. I realize we have a child together and we have to co-parent, but I'm with someone else. Respect this and don't talk to me about your feelings for me. I'm not interested. You need to move on because I have. If you continue in this vein I will block your messages. You can email me about our child. I will check regularly and of course I'll see her/him for my regular time.

That he's NOT nipping this in the bud seems disturbing to me. Good Luck.
YOU NEED TO STOP CONTACTING ME unless it's about our child.

[Screenwriter]

sorry that last line was incorrectly edited... but the sentiment counts..

[Asker]

Ugh. You were correct. she text that she loved him and he text back I love you more.

Smh I don’t even know how to approach this now.

[Screenwriter]

Get a lawyer and pack your bags. This is a dire mistake that could cost you money. Put the house up for sale or ask him to buy your half out. If he can't, the house needs to go up for sale. Start looking for somewhere else to live NOW.

This is an awful situation, but don't ever put yourself in such a bind again. Don't buy a home with someone unless you know they are through with whatever was their past and you are either marrying them, or you have some legal recourse... to dissolve the home buying together...

Get a lawyer and a therapist and cry your way through this. I'm terribly sorry. He must cast a good line! ugh. Good luck...

[Guy13]

I don’t know and it is real confusing 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Asker]

Lol. You are not being helpful. Jeesh

[Guy13]

Saw they still maintain a digital dating relationship…is that right ⁉️

[Asker]

No. He said he was ignoring her. But for some odd reason when she reached out he randomly responded to her.

[Guy13]

“Still dating”