Does your SO move your stuff around?

[AviatorTom]

My SO, who has OCD tendencies, has a nasty habit of moving my things. I put them in one place, and when I go back to get them sometime later, they're gone.

For example, I'm working on a new outdoor project, so when I came in after working on it, I put my work gloves and boots in a place where I could get them later. The next day, when I went to get them, they were gone. Initially, my SO claimed ignorance, then admitted that she moved them... because they "don't belong" where I left them... to a place totally different from where I normally keep them when I'm not using them.

She does this a lot... I'm trying to live with it... but it's frustrating.

Does your SO move your stuff? If so, how do you deal with it?

[Amy10223]

When I was married, no, that didn't happen. I always put my things in places where it was deemed "my area" and so it wasn't a problem. So, what you need to do maybe, is to designate a spot in your home where things are in your "zone" and she is off limits from taking anything from there. Get a place in your garage, a closet, etc., that isn't always used. Put a sign on it if you have to! I do remember though--my ex had his stuff in places but I wouldn't touch it.

[AviatorTom]

@Amy10223 Thanks for the suggestion. The problem is that she only wants me to keep my stuff in out of the way places, like in the bedroom closet. I don't mind that when I'm not using it, but when I'm repeatedly using it, I'd like to keep it somewhere where I can get it more easily. I'll try the sign but I don't think it will work and may just piss her off.

[SnowedIn]

Oh, yeah, no. Doesn't work like that. It's a compromise: my Lego Starship Enterprise gets equal space with the Precious Moments figurines. But, we each have our own other spaces.

[Amy10223]

Tom, so in that case--tell her, or put a note on whatever you have there--"Do not touch" or simply "Please DO Not Move!" Or you can just mention it to her. "Mary, I've left such and such here, please don't touch it, because I'll be needing it tonight, or tomorrow, etc." Would she argue if you were to question her on why she needs to have everything in a certain spot? I dont want to cause any riff between you but at another time when she's in a calm mood, you can just tell her you need to let her take care of your things without any worry they'll be misplaced.

[TrueConfection]

My husband has 2 zones! 😂
However, one of those zones overflows on occasion and then...
Dun
Dun
Dunnnn...
I move his crap.

[Amy10223]

Thanks for the MHO, and I hope it worked out!

[dustybiker]

Never. They always ask. I’m the same, too. Have to respect other peoples things when in a relationship. Personal space within shared space. Trust.

[Jaximus-Lion]

Does she ever! 🤣. I feel your frustrations. The first years when we moved in to live together, she kept removing my insulin from the fridge and the needles were moved up high over the fridge, because no one needs to see them. Few mental clap backs and i moved here things too without telling and she felt real bad. So she does that about 30% less now 🤣, i have to live with the 70% that's left of it.

[God_of_Thunder]

As someone with OCD, myself, I totally sympathize with your SO, and know exactly what she means. It's almost unbearable not to move something that's in the wrong spot, so good for you, trying to live with it.

I don't currently have an SO, but those that I've had in the past do their best not to move my stuff, specifically because they know it's basically like murdering someone who has OCD.

Me, when someone moves my stuff

[dustybiker]

I used to have really bad OCD as a teen so can empathize. Sometimes the memories of what the OCD used to want strike me. It’s the strangest sensation. Like a duel life in a split second. So I get you.

[OlderAndWiser]

I read your post and mmediately thought of this book:

My girlfriend tends to be the messy one and I have a little tendency to keep things organized, but I also know how irritating it is to be in your position, so I usually tell her if I am moving something.

[Guy13]

Of course she does.., it’s her stuff including the home 🏡. She’s going to outlive you anyway SO let her have her way and enjoy your reclined, remote, bj, and football 🏈 time.

😎

[SnowedIn]

We used to do it to each other. Not so much intentionally, but it ended up that way. I'm a bit of a neat freak always tidying. She can make a clean room look like a bomb went off. We learned to compromise: I don't move her stuff and she doesn't explode her stuff in the spaces we share. Compromise and communication.

[NathanDavis]

just another reason why I first make 100,000% sure we're in love before we move in together, lol...

every, thing, has, its, place... and if it is not in its place, then it is out of place

I, however, by the grace of all heavens... am able to work with a grace period, lmfao

[Jdjfjcjj]

Assuming we live together, If my SO had to move something of mine around in the first place, it would probably be because I was lazy and didn't put it in it's proper place to begin with.

In your case, its probably best to set boundaries on what can and can't be moved around. But her being OCD, if you don't want anything moved around, then perhaps you two aren't best.

[tfan1]

Oh yes - she wants it clean. That I’m ok with but she needs to tell me where she put my stuff - otherwise it’s an Easter egg hunt and I get tired of asking and she gets tired telling. Then I tell her if she doesn’t want me to keep asking her where she put my stuff, she needs to stop moving it. Same for our son’s legos.

[Chazmatazz269]

I have experienced this, but rarely. I’M usually the one with stricter ideas on organization and cleanliness, and i tend to be more dominant. You’ll move my stuff once…. “ONCE”! Ell oh ell!

[Sparkie460]

Yes she does, all the time. The thing is, she'll forget where she put it. Then I waste time looking for it and then she remembers

[LordOfThePines]

All the time, I don't mind. I still know where it is.

[noodle_69]

All the bloody time! Then I get boycotted into believing I moved then 🤯

[Anonymous]

Frustrating but you understand why. At least she's not being mean spirited.

[BJP21]

TF is my? Oh right here. LOL

[driven159]

NO NEVER!!!