Who's being immature?

[Anonymous]

So I'm (27m) looking for a serious relationship (i. e marriage), and this girl (27f) told me she was too so we both started chatting. I was being polite, kept texting her "goodnight, good morning" but for some reason she said we had nothing in common. I told her that's fine as we can learn more about eachother that way. She then told me she wasn't really feeling it, but I told her she can't know until she meets me in person. She said she was unsure of me and asked what I thought of marriage in general so I said "I want for you to share everything with me." She then said I sounded too definitive about her which made her uncomfortable as she wasn't feeling it yet.

I called her immature and indecisive for wasting my time to which she said "I know what I want and I'm looking for marriage, but I'm just not sure about you" and BLOCKED ME. I then reached out on her socials and said she had issues but she blocked me there too. I later found out that she called me a "weird creep."

[Anonymous]

Well I'll give you this, you didn't quit. But I would have stopped after she blocked you. Ask any woman and they'll tell her you became a stalker at this point. I get you were just trying to make your point. But she'd made up her mind even if she never really gave you a chance. But this is what a lot of women don't get. They've fallen in love with thier misery. They where it like a martyr for thier cause (misery). At least you know she'll never be married. At least not to any guy that doesn't put her through the ringer and kick her to the curb. Becauseshe really has no idea what she wants. If it's any consolation man. She would have been a landmine. She did you a favor by flaking on you.

[Asker]

How do you know she has fallen in love with her misery? She only told me she doesn't like me and that too after 2 days of just texting, we didn't even have our first date.
Sorry, but I'm just not getting your point. She chatted for 2 days and at the end said "I wanted to see if things could work out between us, but we have nothing in common." We actually don't have anything in common, as we like different types of movies, genres, food and everything. Even our work is completely different, which is what she's saying. After she realised we liked different things, she was slow to respond and kept telling me out interests aren't aligning.

I still tried to convince her that it's better that way. She then said she isn't really feeling the spark with me and it's better if we called it off. We haven't yet met in person so I told her "you can't decide that until you meet me in person, what can I do to make you feel the spark?"
She said we literally have nothing in common, but I proceeded to call her my wife and everything and she said she was getting uncomfortable with me being too definitive on her.

She said it was fine if we both considered eachother as potential for marriage, but the fact that I was definitive on marrying her in particular was the problem.

I actually complained to my mum, and my mum's the one who reached out to her on socials and told her she had issues. She blocked my mum too and called me a creep.

[Opinion Owner]

OK, well I didn't catch the fact that you talked for two days.

[Asker]

Why? Does that change anything?

[Opinion Owner]

Well to my mind length of time at least shows she at least gave you some time. Time to understand you, time for you to make yourself known, understood.

[Asker]

Oh, so now you're going to blame me? Listen sir- I was looking for a serious relationship, so was she. Just because we had different interests, she can't just leave like that LOL.
I called her my wife, and said I wanted to marry her in a few months I was definitive on her, and apparently that was the problem. She backed away and told me that altho she was looking for a serious relationship, she needed to like the person first. She also said the way I immediately started telling her to marry me without even knowing how she felt about it was uncomfortable. She also said she didn't feel a spark with me, but that she'd give me a chance and I was too much and blew it for her.

[inhua]

honestly both are immature.

you wasting your time with her and not reading that she was immature.

she is also immature because she used her "feelings" and maturity has nothing to do with feelings or emotion but logic and rationale.

[Asker]

She said she didn't like me and didn't feel anything towards me.

[inhua]

well there you have it. she used her feelings like most women do. nothing wrong with that but that's how it is unlike men who can learn to love a woman and gradually develop feelings for her over time.

men may have their attention grabbed by a woman's sex appeal but they are really trying to look for that relationship appeal in her even if she doesn't have the sex appeal. for a man though, his sex appeal is his relationship appeal.

[Asker]

We only spoke for 2 days.

[inhua]

doesn't matter. you can't treat men and women the same. women need to be coddled into feeling comfortable. men just need to learn to become comfortable which you have demonstrated in your willingness to want to learn and share with her.

[Asker]

She told me that she has had crushes on guys just based on looks. I know plenty of women who literally go after guys just based on the guys' looks and it's the same with her. She even herself told me that if she's attracted to a guy she'd pursue him and will be willing to let go of a lot more than she would for someone she doesn't really find attractive.

But here she said she didn't really feel the spark initially but still decided to give it a chance and see if it would work between us.

Another thing is that she told me that she was deciding between 2 jobs, 1- which pays her 80k and another which pays her only 200k, and she was leaning towards the one with the higher salary. I kept telling her no, I repeatedly told her to go for the 80k and I got angry when she wouldn't listen to me (I only earn 100k by the way). She then said that she didn't care how much I earned, but I have no right in demanding her to choose a lower paying job as it's really none of my business.

[inhua]

she was virtue signaling to make herself look better. think about it... she's attracted to hot guys but chooses to "give" you a chance as if you're at her mercy.

[Asker]

She didn't say that to me directly. She just said "if I find a guy hot, I am more lenient with him"
She didn't say if she was attracted to me or not, she said she didn't feel the spark with me, and but she wanted to see where this went.
But how's it ok for men to do the same thing? I do the same thing with women. If a girl's hot, I am willing to let go of a lot for her, if not then I don't and ghost them halfway lol

[inhua]

at least she told you the truth. women being more emotional than men tend to be worse simps than male simps. you hear stories all the time about women being stuck in abusive relationships with men and "unable" to escape. it's probably because she's still attracted to the man physically and therefore tolerant of his abuse whereas a man has marriage laws keeping him stuck in abusive relationships.

[atiquahbby]

Lol what are you even on about? This has nothing to do with emotions. So it's basically ok for a man to do the same thing, but when a woman does it, it's not? Wow the double standards.
Besides it's nothing to do with her being emotional. If a woman's interested in a guy, it makes her human, not a simp lmao.
Everyone is in for attraction, physical attraction has nothing to do with simping. Attraction is the first thing people notice when they meet someone. Why do you think conventionally attractive male actors are chosen for movies? It's because it's appealing to the wider range of female audience, just like how men perceive conventionally attractive female actors.

I've been on a date with a guy who told him his crush liked someone who was better looking than him, and he literally just moves on. Not everyone is going to be attracted to the same person, people have different tastes.

Simply don't understand why men get triggered when a woman wants a good looking guy. If you were confident with your looks then you wouldn't even care lmao.

[inhua]

@atiquahbby there's nothing wrong with women wanting a good looking guy. men are often the ones painted as shallow and superficial by society when women are just as bad except they keep denying this and claim they reject guys based on personality even though the Halo Effect is known to influence personality perceptions a lot.

[atiquahbby]

Women say they reject based on personality and men say the same thing as well. Men say things like "she's not my type" and women say the same, they don't blame it on looks because it's rude.

[inhua]

@atiquahbby men do not say they reject based on personality and if they do they're bullshitting. as far as the whole "type" thing is concerned, men can make any woman into his type whether she be black, white, Asian or tall, short, fat, thin, old, young, hot, ugly etc. men are often forced to settle and compromise but learn to live with and cherish it. can't say the same for women though. look no further than the divorce stats and see who files them the most.

[Asker]

I will not settle for black, white, Asian or tall, short, fat, thin, old, young, hot, ugly etc. I will only settle for a good looking woman who can cook and clean.

[atiquahbby]

She doesn't like you and she was trying to be polite and tell you about it. You were being too pushy and really going past your boundaries.

[Anonymous]

You both sound immature.