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Women can talk about a toxic ex for hours but never mention that good guy she dated that was normal, sweet and good to her. You will never hear about that guy.
Who you talk about is who you loved and it's always the toxic ones they can't let go.
How many men have sat there and listened to women go on and on about how toxic he was but also be blushing as they tell you about him... raise your hand.
This happens a lot in my practice so I have seen it first hand. Curious your thoughts.
Not all those mentioned are toxic in fact the most toxic ones that a woman talk about could be a super guy she could be describing a gentleman of the highest order as some jerk you don’t wanna walk the same street he does why? Why keep talking about this guy it’s over right? People who went through traumatic experience tend not to talk about it. Even it means a guilty person walks Scott free. It only means one thing the toxic person they are talking about it is still with them and will always be yes they are describing themselves themselves and what they resent about about themselves. Another thing if a woman lost the relationship with some stand up guy do you think she will advertise how great this guy is to other women especially if he is available now? Instead you isolate him by all means guys in a relationship have any of you come across your girlfriend or wife’s close friends and got a strange vibe they were uneasy or disappointed even sacred being around you? The process starts even before the break up.
I honestly have no issue about women chasing and sleeping toxic assholish men. While it’s a stupid and self destructive decision I do believe in free will to make your own decisions.
However my problem is how women don’t want to take responsibility for their shitty dating decisions and instead look for shoulders to cry on. THAT pisses me off. Society often enabled it too.
I also notice how some women get bitter and jaded towards men and then think it’s okay to be unfair to innocent men as a way of “evening the score”. As if two wrongs make a right.
If you want to chase and date an asshole then fine. Be my guest. But the writing is almost always on the wall with these guys. You are not going to be the one who “changes” them. As much as that challenge is alluring its your own damn fault when he screws he over (and he will).
With that said I know there are plenty of women out there who aren’t like this. But there is unfortunately a growing percentage of women who go down this stupid path. Reason being society gives them lots and lots of options. So they will pursue what excites them the most vs. what’s best for them.
She doesn’t mention the good guy because she doesn’t wanna make you jealous lol. She’s telling you what not to do. Tho in reality that just gives you blueprints for how to manipulate her if you’re a bad person.
abusive relationships are addicting, and women are easily susceptible to them. Especially young women who are looking for a healthy but exciting relationship. They fall into ones with men who have dark triad traits. Narcissism in place of confidence and manipulation in place of competence. That’s why many women fall into these habits or stay in these relationships.
the “good guys” you’re probably thinking of aren’t actually competent and confident men. They often lack ambition, personality, and are entitled. Don’t shower often, don’t work hard, don’t clean up after themselves… they think because they don’t cheat or hit her that they’re “good guys” but I find a lot of these dudes can be just as manipulative and slimy. But instead of charisma they manipulate unfounded guilt and use a woman’s kindness to get her to date him. “I’m a good guy!” A good guy doesn’t have to say he’s a good guy. 🙄
I've found that women who seem drawn to these guys (and never learn their lesson) all seem to be cut from the same cloth. They're never too bright, trashy, obsessed with "look at me" toilet selfies, and generally bring nothing to the table except a pair of tits.
I think toxic guys can sniff these women out a mile and target them because they're easy. I have zero sympathy or time for these women
Opinion
28Opinion
Well, our brains have been hardwired through evolution to focus on the negative. Traced back to prehistoric days, primitive man had to be able to register threats to avoid danger and increase survival rates. Individuals who were more attuned to danger (negative stimuli) stayed alive longer and passed on their genes. This has nothing to do with gender...
These generalizations are getting really tedious
Some toxic men get something right: they demand respect, and are honest about their intentions.
Those nice guys aren't really nice, but they pretend to be nice to get what they want. Women know it intuitively.
The ideal man is one who demands respect, and is honest. But as standard he is nice. He's just not arbitrarily nice, nor arbitrarily rude.
The fake version of that is being Red Pilled, which is just a reaction to being nice. But in the bottom it is the same, people that act in some way as strategy to be liked by as many people as possible.
Versus doing what you HONESTLY believe is the best, and finding people that resonate with that.
Thank you for covering this question Coach. Because this is probably the biggest problem on the women's side of dating that doesn't get talked about enough.
To answer your question, no I'm not raising my hand. Because when a woman talks about a crazy ex, that's a clear indicator of a toxic woman. Crazy tends to attract crazy. And at the very least. She's showing her poor selection ability.
Also any woman talking an any length about exes on a first date or in the early going, another very good sign of her toxicity. CHECK PLEASE!
I don't. I'd much rather talk about the good guys I went out with than regale people with bad date stories. The latter were far fewer, but are probably more entertaining,
Of course. He’s “the one that got away”. She’s not mad that he was “toxic”. She’s mad that she couldn’t “fix” him. If she actually does tame him, she’ll tell that story with great passion too. But the genuinely good dude who doesn’t need to be tamed or fixed offers no challenge. He’s boring. Any nitwit that can learn from experience quits telling boring stories by the age of eight. Nobody wants to hear the boring stories, so nobody wants to tell them. Ell oh ell!
Some do. My sister in law is with a man who beats her "because she needs to learn a lesson".. We tried to get her removed from that situation. We tried to get her support and to divorce him. She kept going back to him because " I can change him", her words... I think it's because some of them don't have the self respect to understand that they can do better.
It got so bad that we basically had to wash our hands of her because she keeps refusing our help and going back. He broke her arm for God's sake.. She told us she deserved it.. I cannot understand that.
I don't think any woman wants to get involved with a toxic man, but there's no question a lot of us do end up getting involved with men like that. It's not our goal, but it happens anyway. Why? There are multiple factors.
First, there is something very attractive, appealing and desirable about guys who are like that. They tend to be more masculine than the average guy. They are just more exciting.
A lot of us do have a sexual attraction to guys who are dangerous. I know that's bad but it's a thing.
We are drawn to a guy who is an asshole to everyone except us. But that is rarely the case because eventually they end up being assholes to us too.
Yes, we do like the idea of fixing broken guys.
No, but there’s trauma bonding and just trauma in general. People will often talk about what hurt them (and still hurts them). Just like you’ll have more people leave a review if they had a bad experience with a company or seek out the manager to make a complaint. People who aren’t hurt have no need to talk about it. And also, you’d be happier if the women you’re dating was talking about how great their exes where (they’re an ex for a reason though but whatever)? It’s more socially acceptable to talk shit about an ex to a new guy than to rabt about how lovely an ex was.
I like to believe, that class attracts class. Trash women are attracted to and attract trash men. They deserve each other. Nevermind her looking innocent, young and beautiful, she's heading towards her own demise waiting to be ripped off everything she has, that makes her attractive and healthy.
One thing that must be understood is you can't stop these people from undoing themselves. Well, you can but after you're done saving them they're going to do it later anyway. Relapsing or whatever.
No, I don't believe women "love to" get involved with toxic men.
It's not a goal to seek out such a man but, by chance, an attraction between them builds.
they say they don’t but they always do. They date the dramatic, toxic guy when they’re in their prime then they marry pointdexter that’s “nice” when they’re too old to be a hot brat anymore. Not to be cliche but pay attention to their actions and not their words.
I think it's because of women nature of taking care of the other is what makes her get involved with toxic men.. She hopes they can change ( when she give them enough love and care) but then she get hit with reality that she can't change a man if the change didn't come from him then she broke down... And she talk more about him than the nice guy for the same reason, because she put more effort and dedication in that relationship than the other one.
Sadly most women look for the toxic men knowing they will be both mentally and physically abused, then cry about that type of man and then go straight back into another abusive relationship.
See it all the time, most of the female friends I’ve had look for this toxic trait in men and gladly go into the abuse, instead of going for someone who would be kind and caring.
They love it and are absolutely enthusiastic about it. There is a reason INCELS and not-laid guys can point and see something... it's because it's actually a thing they can look at and point at it and say "hey, look at that."
I mean seriously... I'll spit in her mouth and shit on her chest and I bet she'll be in love and talk about me.
because toxic men have a possessive instinct that women evoke in women it reminds us that we have to keep them all the time because they are very toxic and if they get bored of you they can see other girls but good guys we don't feel it much because they are totally attached to us and that gives us confidence but they kill the possessiveness inside of us and we feel bored with it they are not as excited as toxic men 🤷🏼♀️
Some women see a broken heart or soul and instinctively attempt to fix or improve it. However our conscience knows better and has been tricked many time previously and then knows the male soul or heart is just playing a toxic game.
She decides it’s better to let things be as they are and enforce a boundary.
Highly conservative traits in men are toxic by modern standards. Low on emotion, has no housework, can't cook or clean, and doesn't care about their sick wife, however, have good income and work to provide for the family. A lot of girls like that kinda guy, the prince charming strong manly man. What they do forget is that if they look at history kings were hardly ever loyal to their wives and committed more atrocities and are responsible for several draconian laws and standards. Sleeping beauty was raped by her prince charming.
Financial security they dont want to be alone they didn't know the dude was toxic when they married. The movies tell us we want the bad boys. Me I always like the goofy sidekick.
s when I talk about the dudes I dated, I mention ALL of them lol, so you are wrong about that... but then again, I am not all women am I?😊
I don't because my dad always tells me to stay away from toxic people
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