I can’t get any sleep with my boyfriend, how can I fix this?

[neverending_horizon]

Me and this guy have been seeing each other for about half a year now, but I continue to struggle sleeping properly with him. It takes ages for me to fall asleep, when I do it’s always very light and I wake up several times throughout the night. I also always wake up early in the morning, whereas I normally easily can sleep till midday.

I never struggle to sleep, when I’m with my friends or alone. And besides waking up early, I also haven’t really experienced the same problems as bad when sleeping with any other guys.

how can I fix this, is there any ways I can better my sleep?

[abc3643]

You know, a lot of couples sleep in separate beds or bedrooms for just this reason. There's nothing shameful about it.

In fact, the New York Times just did an article about it about 4 weeks ago...

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/10/realestate/couples-separate-bedrooms.html
I Love You, but I Don’t Want to Sleep With You
Snoring and conflicting schedules are top reasons couples decide to sleep in separate bedrooms. Sex therapists and marriage counselors have their doubts about the arrangement.

By Ronda Kaysen
Feb. 10, 2023

...

Sleeping apart is more common than one might think: One in five couples sleep in separate bedrooms, and almost two thirds of those who do, do so every night, according to a January survey of 2,200 Americans conducted by the International Housewares Association for The New York Times. And interior designers have reconfigured homes to transform separate bedrooms into adjoining ones — an arrangement that more couples are demanding, according to designers who have seen an uptick in requests from couples that sleep apart and want to make a secondary room feel as thoughtfully decorated as the primary one.

Perhaps these couples have found the secret to domestic bliss: a room of one’s own. Everyone gets a better night’s sleep, undisturbed by a partner’s incessant snoring, penchant for blanket-stealing or devotion to late-night TikTok scrolling.

Plus, add a little space and you make room for more spice.

...

For some, uninterrupted rest and privacy are worth every penny.

About 46 percent of the people surveyed who said they had called the shared bed quits blamed a partner’s snoring or tossing-and-turning for the change, according to the International Housewares Association. The survey found other common culprits, too, like different sleep schedules or conflicting wind-down routines. Almost a fifth of respondents said they sleep in separate quarters because they simply want private space. And 22 percent of respondents said they made the change in the last year, raising the possibility that the arrangement is becoming more common, not less so.

...

Ermelinda and Jay Wood have been married 40 years. For the last 20, they have slept in separate bedrooms because Mr. Wood snores loudly and crowds Ms. Wood out with all his pillows. Ms. Wood can’t tolerate it.

“You have to be practical with marriage if you want to stay married,” said Ms. Wood, 67, who lives with Mr. Wood, 66, in a two-bedroom apartment in Pacifica, a coastal town south of San Francisco. “You have to understand that you’re not always going to be on the same page and you’re not always going to be lovey-dovey.”

But Ms. Wood worries about the social stigma associated with a couple sleeping apart. (When her mother was still alive, she used to give Ms. Wood grief about it until she once heard Mr. Wood snoring. Then she relented. )

“It’s almost like a dirty secret,” Ms. Wood said. She worries that if she told friends about their living arrangement she and Mr. Wood would be judged for breaking a cardinal rule of marriage: married people sleep together.

But, Ms. Wood has come to cherish having her own room, starting to wonder if it’s a space she’d ever relinquish under any circumstances. “Why wait until someone is dead to get a good night’s sleep?” she said, adding, “Maybe the question is: What is a bedroom? Is it a place for you to have sex? Is it a place for you to go read your book? For me, the bedroom has always been the place where I go to rejuvenate and sleep.”

And sometimes, sleep happens best alone.

[Guy13]

Guilty and unsettled conscience. You are not living right and only you know what that is.

[tonamimargaux]

Do you get too self conscious while being with him? Thinking what if he finds my sleep positions awkward or what if he judges me if i snore and things like that? Then maybe it’s because of the newness in your relationship after a while you’ll get adjusted. Try to have intimate moments before sleeping it helps lol

[TheSpaceGnome]

Without knowing why it happens, we aren't going to know how to fix it.

[Anonymous]

here's something your tiny brain never comprehended QUIT SLEEPING WITH GUYS then you'll be able to sleep at night

[neverending_horizon]

Damn dude I meant in the past, haven’t slept with anyone else since him. The stress from one guy is enough.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

His snuggle skills are subpar

[boggboss]

Do u know why u wake up or does it just happen

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Separate beds

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one that asked you out

[Anonymous]

Is the couch an option?

[Anonymous]

Try ear plugs!