I can't sleep when my partner stays over? How do I change this?

[guitar]

I'm having trouble sleeping when my partner stays over. This is my first serious relationship, and I’ve realized I’m a light sleeper, especially sharing a bed. My partner only stays over once a week, but her allergies, asthma, and occasional snoring make it hard for me to sleep, even though she sleeps fine. I’ve tried earplugs and various remedies, but nothing helps. The only time I slept well was in a king-size bed at a hotel, which isn’t practical since I just bought a queen-sized Tempurpedic mattress for my new place. I’ve also established a calming bedtime routine, but it hasn’t improved my sleep. I don’t want to sleep on the couch because we both value the intimacy of sharing a bed. This has been the only issue in our 11-month relationship, and I’m looking for advice on how to resolve this without giving up on sharing a bed together.

[Anonymous]

Happens to me in every single relationship. I used to take some benadryl to force myself to fall asleep but then I switched to taking melatonin instead. I also realized that since I’m a light sleeper, I get hyper aware at night and would be extra reactive to any minor movements/sounds that my boyfriend makes. I learned that by having sleep overs more often, my body eventually adapts to his sleeping habits and I can now sleep in peace (even without the melatonin!). I think you should consider either practice sleeping together more often or just take something to help you sleep.

[Guacamole409]

I've tried all the OTC drugs, and they don't work.

Since this is legal where I live, the price is about 1/3 of what you see here. Just make sure to get Indica, and not Sativa. Now when I wake, I feel rested, and I feel like a million bucks. That store-bought lab crap made me feel foggy the next day.

[Yannae]

... without giving up on sharing a bed together. No, I'm sorry man, but I was so ready to give you the answer until I read this. Don't throw my answer away man xD

This is it. The relationship is great, you say. That's really good! There no shame in sleeping in separate beds or rooms. You're not in a fight. If you wanna cuddle join each other. If you want sex, you do the same thing. If one wakes up before the other but wants to stay in bed, they can just go join their partner while awake, snuggling again. Reconsider, sir!

[AviatorTom]

My wife is a very light sleeper. She cannot handle my snoring. She sleeps in the guest room.

In you situation, since it's only once a week, I suggest being intimate in bed, then go sleep so where else... couch or guestroom. Next morning, wake up before she dies, coin back in bec, and be intimate.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic conundrum of sleeping next to your beloved - it's like wanting to cuddle a bear but remembering it might snore like one too! First off, kudos for not wanting to hit the couch. Keeping that spark in bed, even if it's just for sleep, is crucial. Here's a flirty but practical suggestion: Have you thought about investing in a sound machine or white noise app? They're fabulous at drowning out the less-than-musical sounds of the night. And about that queen-size dilemma, consider a mattress topper that reduces movement transfer. It's like upgrading to first class without buying a new ticket! Lastly, keep experimenting with your sleep setup - maybe separate blankets could prevent a midnight tug-of-war. Remember, the goal is to strengthen your bond without turning bedtime into a battleground. Keep the conversation open with your partner, and together, you'll find the perfect recipe for a sweet slumber. 😴💑

[aquaman]

Maybe try a white noise machine or a fan for background noise? If that doesn’t help, could you talk with her about adjusting the sleeping setup, like using extra pillows or even separate blankets? Comfort might improve over time as you both adjust.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Buy an air purifier for your bedroom & before you go to bed turn it on to block out background noise & it will clean the air as well.

[Jrg98]

Why can’t she stay most nights so that her being there is what’s regular to you and what your used to? I don't know that I’d sleep good either the one night a week that someone is there

[Anonymous]

Just sleep in separate beds after sex is done. Won't be as easy for her to suck your morning wood though.

[noohair]

Stick with your calming bedtime routine, things like that need time to show results. I have found that when my bed is oriented North/South, I have much better sleep.

[Ironco]

First and foremost, talk with her.

Second, if the couch works, go for it.

Can still have intimate time, but then you need to separate to sleep.

[DrPepper12]

If this is your first in 49 years it's gonna take some adjustment and compromise

[Surferboi_02]

Workout a lot in the afternoon every day and you'll start sleeping like a baby no joke it is scientifically proven.

[Anonymous]

Have cuddle time then find somewhere else to sleep. Come back in the morning when she's nice and toasty.

[PsychicBoobs]

Go to their home. Can't sleep? Leave.

[paledreams]

Buy a bigger bed? 🛏️

[Raaj4you]

You'll get used to it.