How should I take it when another woman ask my man wydn?

[Anonymous]

My man has this friendship with this woman who he's been friends with for over 10 years and he said he never looked at her that way, she's close friends with him and friend to his cousin and he shared with me yesterday that the woman is pregnant (not his, he thought he should share that with me so I wouldn't keep worrying about her) and she knows about Me and our family and she's also familiar with some things not all but things that's happened in his past. And lately she constantly calls him. So what's ya thoughts?

[Anonymous]

You either trust him or you don’t but if you travel down this road there is no going back. Seriously, once you begin planting seeds in your mind that something fishy is blossoming, you’ll never let that go, and that’s not something you want to live with. If he’s doing wrong then I promise, the evidence will come to you — everything done in the dark comes to light.

[Asker]

Damn. You're right about that.

[Asker]

Thank you for this

[Opinion Owner]

No worries hun, I once dated a man with an oddly close female friend so I understand where you’re coming from. My biggest advice would be to protect your peace, and your mental health. Like if you trust him then don’t worry about that situation and let the cards fall where they may. But if it becomes too distressing or troublesome then you’ve got some choices to make. Ultimately you have to protect your peace of mind, and if that means washing your hands of him so you don’t have to worry or stress then do it.
Kinda like on that Sex and the City episode. Samantha was so worried about her man cheating, she kept trying to catch him in the act. At one point she barged into his hotel room, and even after seeing that he wasn’t, she was still drenched in sweat from running up flights of stairs, stressed out and decided it wasn’t worth it, she had to love herself more than him. Sometimes we have to make what we think is a sacrifice to protect our peace.

[Asker]

Right, you're absolutely right. I have to work better on directing my attention to better things like my mental health. Him and I have been on this ride together for almost 8 years and we have come to a realization that one of the main thing that's been a hindrance to our relationship is the trust for one another. I've never given him a reason to not trust me, but he places everyone in a category where no one can be trusted. As for him, I have my valid reasons that I need to move on as it was a one time mistake and like you mentioned I need to do this so I could protect my peace. Take care of me.

[Opinion Owner]

I feel you on the 8 years, I did 6 1/2 with a dude I should’ve left after year 3 lol, but it’s rough when the relationship is so important to you and you invested so much.
All I can really say is that if it’s time to go, don’t waste any more time in that situation and walk away. It’s not fair for you to keep having to prove loyalty and adhere to his trust issues while he probably expects you to just trust him and have no doubts, no worries. That’s hypocritical and flat out nonsensical of him.
You deserve a lot more from someone, not that. It’s hard and to leave but I truly hope you find the strength to, it’s so much better on the other side.

[Asker]

You hit it to the tea and absolutely agree with everything. There's been one thing on my mind that I've prayed for a lot and that's the strength to leave behind what's not for me that including our relationship. From time to time it hurts to think about it because there's children involved, but then I think to myself I'd be hurting our relationship with our children because I'm not focused on the bigger and better picture. It's not fair to our kids for them to not receive the better version of me because I'm so preoccupied in trying to put the pieces together to a shattered glass.

[Asker]

I really appreciate your advices, sincerely 🙏🏼

[Opinion Owner]

Goodness, I’m so sorry, having kids will definitely complicate and make your choices harder. I think your outlook is very mature and something I’d apply to my own kids — they’re happy when you’re happy. Children can be oddly intuitive, so when you’re having rough moments, a fight or anything like that, they can pick up how you’re feeling and internalize it. As they get older, they’ll believe the example of love they’ve seen between their parents is how it’s supposed to be, and that’s the last thing you want. So while I empathize deeply with that aspect of your situation, the bigger picture is more important and I hope you’re proud that you’re starting to see it. Also no need to thank me, glad I can help☺️

[Blueeyes81]

Take a vacation from your thoughts.

[Asker]

Lord knows how hard I've been trying, but the minute I feel like something is up that goes out the window very damn fast. But you're absolutely right ✅️ I'm working on it.

[Asker]

Maybe I'm not trying hard enough

[Asker]

Thank you for your advice as well. That's gonna be ringing in my ears and it needs to. I think way too much and just stress myself out.

[Blueeyes81]

When I was about 30 my best friend since childhood started dating an insecure and jealous woman who hated our female friend, for no other reason than she was a woman. We both knew since junior high and nothing was going on between the two but she wanted her gone. She was a bitch to our friend and eventually gave him an ultimatum, his friend or her. He chose her. It always saddened me that her insecurities ruined an amazing friendship and crushed my friend. Don't be that woman. It also ended my friendship with him because I looked at him differently after that.

[Asker]

Understandable and I'm not even going to put myself in that situation. That's too much stress and sounds controlling. Stressing about what woman he's friend with that's a lot of work and women for me to get rid of lol you know what I mean? So honestly it's not even worth it. So yeah thanks for that insight

[Anonymous]

No guy n girl "just a friend" on earth..