How many men have to deal with having a child with a cheater?

[Bostonbutterfly]

Ok so my college friend dumped his cheating girlfriend. However, they had a child together. The girl is 3 years old.

He tested the child twice on two different clinics. Both tests shows 99.99 positive. Yeah he's stuck with the child. He admitted that when he tested the kid, he wished it would've been negative so he could walk away without any cost, without any responsibility. The girlfriend is a cheater but damn, it's still his child. Doesn't that suck? To have a child with a cheater?

I feel bad. How many men have to deal with having a child (assuming he did the paternity test and it still comes out positive) with a cheater?

Updates

+1 y

Part of him was really hoping it would be negative and that the cheater was lying when she swore it was his child. Sadly thats's the only thing she was right at. Yes it's his child.

[inhua]

quite a lot and sometimes with bad repercussions

https://www.youtube.com/embed/UH9fnRnEcr0

we will never know the exact unless more men are brave enough to come forward with their stories without being demonized and shamed for doing so

[Bostonbutterfly]

Poor dude on the video. Yeah if I were him, I wouldn't pay a damn penny on a child not mine. I'm willing to bet if a woman's boyfriend or husband got his affair partner pregnant and then expected us to not only stay with the cheater but also be a part of that child's life; any woman would find that infuriating.

[inhua]

it would be great if more good women came out and spoke out against the bad women doing these bad things to their husbands though these days, it seems like the good women are the ones being silenced and the bad women control the narrative

[Bostonbutterfly]

and sadly they're no ones that make it harder for the rest of us. I'm having no luck with dates. I'm straight forward in the beginning when telling a man my goals and what I'm looking forward. None of them matched what I wanted; dating for 2-3 years at most (no more; I don't want to be a girlfriend for 5-8 years and then it going nowhere; that's not good for my biological clock; it goes against our interests) and then settle down.
Yeah things have gotten so sour. I know why more men are avoiding commitment and keeping more of us at just their childless, girlfriend for years and years (just living with them but no responsibility), wasting our years. That's bad too for us.

[Bostonbutterfly]

Nowadays I know why men want to wait forever, maybe 10 years or so before deciding if he wants to settle down but by then it'll be too late for the woman to have kids. So it has ruined things for both genders. Yes I'm upset at everything that has happened.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think this is just a problem for men though. It’s sadly really common for men to cheat while their wives are pregnant. If anything it’s easier for a man he's only expected to be financially responsible if he leaves not be stuck in as difficult a situation or choice as the woman.

Cheating is a complicated problem and it’s sad when innocent children are caught up in it.

[Bostonbutterfly]

yeah it sucks for the kids. He's only being cordial to her during visitation and not hurling out any offensive words (she would've deserved to be called out bad words) for his daughter's sake. Even if she's a cheater, yeah he doesn't go that low as insult the mother in front of the kid.

[NamerOfStars]

An appalling number. Think of what it does, not only to your partner, but to the KID, who never did anything wrong and has to spend their life as a giant point of contention between their parents.

It's the core of why cheating is so awful.

[mommymommymommy]

So why have kids in general then?

[Bostonbutterfly]

Indeed. For the sake of his daughter, he keeps things cordial with the mother during visitations. He wishes he can curse her out but can't.

[Drumlin2001]

Plenty of relationships break down, reason dosent really matter. Co-parenting the child should have nothing to do with the failed relationship. Both parents need to be mature and do what's best for the kid.

[Bostonbutterfly]

True. That's what they're doing and he's cordial with his ex girlfriend during visitation, no arguments nor hard feelings involved. All he cares is spending time with his daughter, be there in her life forever. All their conversations are just about their daughter.

[Anonymous]

At least he knows she's a cheater, and he knows the child is his.

Paternity fraud is surprisingly common, and MANY men are unknowingly raising children that are not their own, or worse, paying child support for a child they don't know is another man's child.

It's a huge problem that gets virtually zero attention.

[Bostonbutterfly]

True at least it's his child. Yet it sucks to have a lying, cheater as the mother of your child instead of a decent, loyal woman any man would've loved. When he tested the child (his daughter was 2 months old at time) part of him wished it was negative so he can be free from that woman and walk away forever. A lying, cheater and yet her swearing it's his child before he took the test was the only one single truth she told him.
Now he has to continue being in contact with the cheater. He's cordial to her during visitations.

[Opinion Owner]

Agreed

[Billlewis]

I've been in relationships with women who had one or more children from a previous relationship, but despite having been cheated on repeatedly, none of them were born after I began dating them.

[Bostonbutterfly]

He really was wishing the test would've been negative and he would be free from the cheater, never having any contact with her ever again. If there is one thing the cheater was right about is that yes it's his child. She admitted to cheating but swore it was his child. Talk about bad luck.

[madhatters4]

this is a problem regardless of the gender. but hopefully he can just love the child unconditionally regardless of the baby mama

[Bostonbutterfly]

Yes he loves his little girl very much. He did said his ex girlfriend and all the other people that ever wronged him can go fuck themselves but his daughter will always be his little girl no matter what, no matter what she does, all the way till the end.
Dada was the very first word his little girl ever said when she was a baby. That child is more closer to him than the mom. Though it sucks that he has to be cordial to the cheater during visitations.

[MementoMori777]

breaks my heart to think of it

[Bostonbutterfly]

He wishes he never saw that cheating ex girlfriend ever again. When he did those tests, a major part of him wished it would've been negative so he can walk away forever. Now he has to still deal with the cheater when it comes to his daughter's needs and visitations, be in the child's life, etc.

[MementoMori777]

its why you gotta choose your partner wisely no lie but i hope the situation gets better

[LiamJHayden]

Quite a few, but they really only have themselves to blame except in the weird and very rare situations where she "jacks" his sperm. They went raw and knew it could happen.

[Bostonbutterfly]

yeah he used to rely on the withdrawal (aka pulling out) method, knew it wasn't totally effective but still got overconfident thinking nothing would happen. Now he has to deal with the cheater when it comes to his daughter.

[driven159]

it should only be about the child not about a cheater or ex the child's needs come first.

[Bostonbutterfly]

I agree. Yeah he loves his little girl unconditionally. He said it himself that he loves her till the very end, no matter what happens.

[mommymommymommy]

I don't. Since i don't want kids

[Bostonbutterfly]

Make sure you use protection. He relied on the withdrawal method and really thought nothing would happen.

[mommymommymommy]

Dumbass

Anyway, um, yeah, and republicucks are coming after protection.

That's my point. like, if i ever wanted to have a quickie with her, it's really like, unromantic to stop, put one on and then go for it. that's the point of a quickie, is to be romantic and spontaneous