If you got pregnant/got someone pregnant and things start to sour, would you expect them to stay with you for the sake of the kid?

Question

This is if you’ve tried to work things out and its just absolutely gone to shit at this point. (Pretty sure a few of you will respond with something abortion related…)  I wouldn’t stay together for the sake of the kid but we can remain cordial, respectful, and communicate so that we can coparent for the sake of the kid 🤷‍♀️ A lot of the guys I dated said they expect us to stay together for the sake of the (potential) kid… well um sir thats nice but yea nahh… #FeelFreeToList

Nirmroth · Accepted Answer

Well I can only speak from the experience a friend made.

He and his girlfriend of 4 months made a mistake and she got pregnant and they noticed to late aswell. It all was very very dumb.

Problem was, he intended to break things of just before the pregnancy. But with the child in mind, he moved with her to her hometown miles away from his (she was a college student on visit) and tried again with the relationship.

The relationship held for 1,5 years then they broke up but on good terms and he moved back here. He now drives multiple hours each month to see his child, he really is a good father.

In short, I think staying toghether just because of the child is just pushing the approaching deadline of the relationship and is no good reason.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

I've never been in that situation but if she and I really did not get along, I would leave. The child does not deserve to grow up in a toxic household. I would hope that she would find a nice guy to be a stepfather to my child. Of course, I'd pay child support, and would want to be a part of the child's life.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

My ex wanted to make me pregnant so we’d marry earlier.

He wanted a child from me as soon as possible.

I was the one willing to wait a bit longer.

I won’t get serious with a man who won’t feel absolutely luckiest to have a chance to have a baby with me.

Avicenna · Answer

No, I know better than that from personal experience.

RavVid · Answer

In terms of abortion yeah I'd be advocating that. I don't think too many people would stay together for the kids now but scenarios vary. If you got married then had a child it is a little different than getting a call "Hi XXX. How are you? Look the reason for the call is my obstetrician needs to know your blood group".

In the married scenario I'd be thinking if she is hard work now what will she be like with postpartum? Maybe not nice of me but you have to be realistic. Probably I would stay being my excessively responsible self.

It depends on how things sour as well. You might be fighting like cats and dogs or you might have got comfortable and fart in front of each other.

With a girlfriend I guess it is somewhere between and depends on situation.

beebella · Answer

If things go sour, I'm not going to want to be around them anymore. 😅
If they still want to be involved in our child's life, then great. We can co-parent, but staying in a miserable situation isn't good for anybody, especially when there are kids involved.

madhatters4 · Answer

if parents can stay together and raise the kids in a healthy environment then I think they should consider staying together for the kids. but it is worse to raise kids in an unhealthy environment where the parents can't get along than to get a divorce and raise kids in happier households

Lliam · Answer

I wouldn't have sex with a dumb ass who doesn't take responsibility for her own body in the first place. If she's not on birth control, I won't touch her or want anything to do with her. She has no business having sex.
I'm not going to get trapped into a lifetime of financial obligation for something I didn't want. If she decides to have the kid, it's her choice. She can take full responsibility.

electromagnetic · Answer

do you know something, I just had a hypothetical of the situation while taking a bath. Like my partner, and I have always discussed having children just it’s not the right time. I thought to myself, what kind of conversation would unfold if we were to just have a general conversation about the situation

Joshydavid25 · Answer

I mean... I'm not a difficult guy.. I can be a bit disagreeable, but ultimately I'm easy going, so that means she would be the more "difficult" one which for some reason fits because it's the type of women I usually attract.. I would try and stay and continue to work it out for the sake of the kid.. It can be done, it just takes two willing participants to do it.

DreamLife7 · Answer

My preference is marriage first. If we are married this is a union we both wished to pursue so with that being said I wouldn't be with nor have a baby by someone I knew wasn't suited for me. If things went sour despite that I was married so I'm entitled to spousal and child support along with a deed to the house which ensures our kid is covered

worldscolide · Answer

I think that staying with someone simply because baby is a bad choice. Don't get me wrong I would step up and take care of the life I helped create. But a lot of women have this attitude of "he doesn't want me so I don't want him near my child" as if the child is her property. In reality that child needs both the mother and the father.

kellytheman · Answer

If I got a girl pregnant I would stick around for the kid and try to help anyway financially and help her anyway I should while she is pregnant. If me and her can’t get along I be would still help because I need to be a responsible man but I might ask her to live with me for the kid so he/she know has loving parents that are not together.

nawtee_me · Answer

My divorce came when my kids weren’t even teenagers so we decided to that we would divorce each other but not the kids. We both raised the kids separately.
where they were (either with me or her) when school started that was where they stayed until school was out.

fluffybear123 · Answer

Depends on how far along I am but if it were early enough I would get a abortion. My parents don’t get along and they separated when I was two. Even though I was too young to understand what was going on, they still had problems with each other as I got older and now I’m a 19 year old girl with daddy issues. I would not want to put my child through the same thing.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

Kids are not happy having parents who fight with or ignore each other.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I mean I'd try to make the relationship work if anything for the sake of the child but it don't it don't. Either way I'd still make sure to keep decent relations with the woman and be there for the kid as a father.

iron_ninjs · Answer

If we tried to get along, an just can't, then no. Why torture the kid with an unhappy home? We can split the parental duties, and still keep the child happy.

magiusX26 · Answer

nope. that would be a guarenteed bad enviroment for the child where as being apart, though likely still bad these days, at least affords some chance of not being a bad enviroment.

Raaj4you · Answer

No, I don't want to impregnate any girl before wedding. No, I will breakup with her if things aren't working between us. I will accept the baby not her. I will not leave her if we have petty issues or setbacks.

SunnyRS · Answer

I would like to stay close to the child but I would not stay with the partner because if we are separating there must be a reason and watching each other daily might trigger some negative reactions that are not good for the children.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

Noooooooooooooooooo. I'd rather break it off with even a smidge of amicability for the child.

Abdulwahh · Answer

Ill stay there for the kid even if we do separate I'll still respect her. I clean my heart of grudges it's spiritually as well as mentally destructive.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I'm not getting her pregnant, period. I'm getting a vasectomy.

MasterKS · Answer

I won't be on the positive side, not want to be in this mess.

exitseven · Answer

I would run away to Canada.

Uglycryer · Answer

They prob wouldn’t but they should

Agape93 · Answer

No, the fetus would be terminated. asap

jogeb907433 · Answer

I would escape to Venezuela.

TallAnon · Answer

Depends how sour, but generally; Make it work

LunarEclipse433 · Answer

Yes. It’s the right thing to do

If you got pregnant/got someone pregnant and things start to sour, would you expect them to stay with you for the sake of the kid?

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