Who's trust do you value more: your best friends or your significant other?

[Anonymous]

Example: your best friend or your significant other is going through some things which they admit to you ONLY if you swear to keep it a secret from everyone else.

Do you keep the secret from your SO?
Do you keep the secret from your best friend?

I tell my significant other everything

I tell my best friend everything

I tell BOTH my best friend and my significant other everything

I wouldn't share any information with anyone if I was asked to keep it a secret

[Anonymous]

Well technically a long time girlfriend or wife should be my best friend. However if we been dating for 9 months or less then they are still on probation with some things.

In the past I have personally made the mistake of trusting a girl I was dating for a few months with confidential information more than I should have.

But I will always trust a male best friend over a woman when it comes to some things.

Reason being is:

1) another dude will better understand how I think. So if it’s about something really stupid or bad I did they will better understand the context. A woman might look at me differently.

2) an ex girlfriend is much more likely to blow my cover on my dirty laundry. Once a woman determines I am no longer of value to her she needs to find reasons to self justify her decision to dump me (regardless if her decision was right or wrong). She will likely tell other people about all my dirty laundry. More of then then she needs other people to “affirm” to her that she made the right decision.

This is especially true when a man never did anything fundamentally wrong but the woman just lost interest She needs to find methods to handle her guilt. She will need to protect her ego.

However I got some real dirty laundry on one my exes. One is an incest survivor. But I never told anyone about that even when she went (scary) nuclear on me after I broke up with her. That was very deep confidential information (also not her fault and those people have my sympathy)

I did tell friends/family that she grew up in a horrible family and it very negatively impacted her. But I had the respect not to share the exact details not even to my best friend.

However if the roles were reversed I have no doubt she would broadcast that to the world to make herself feel better.

[hahahmm]

See, if my wife is friends with my friend's girlfriend/wife, she already knows all of his secrets. Women are like the CIA. As a traditional guy I'm not really into gossiping. Everything is a secret unless it directly impacts my family.

[wolfcat87]

As far as I'm aware, most women tell their husbands everything. As long as he's not a gossiper, and has no ill intentions, then it's never been an issue. If I don't want my best friend's husband to know something, then I wouldn't tell her at all. If someone specifically wants me to keep a secret from my partner, then they should definitely say so. I would ask why and then put in the effort.

On the other hand, everything about my partner does not need to be repeated to my best friends. My partner is my other half and takes priority over a best friend.

[Rei13]

I tell my best friend and partner almost everything whether it is a secret or not. There are exceptions to that tho, if it is something that truly needs to be kept quiet I wouldn’t tell my boyfriend my best friends secret or vice versa. There are also things I tell my friend that I would never tell my boyfriend. I am generally bad at keeping secrets but if I keep it to those two I know it won’t go further since they’re both great at it

[aceleon]

to be honest i don't give a damn about my none existent and hopefully won't ever existing SO, so no idon't tell them anything and i don't value ifthey trust me or not if anything i rather prefer they don't trust me at least that way they won't take me for granted.

[Baublebar234]

A secret is a secret. If anyone asked me to keep their business between me and that person, I am simply respecting their wishes because it is not MY business or place to tell. What my best friend tells me in confidence is between me and my best friend. And what my significant other tells me in confidence is between me and my significant other. I’m not telling my best friend my significant other’s secrets. And I’m not telling my significant other my best friend‘s secrets.

[WindAtMyBack]

If I didn't trust my SO more, then they shouldn't be my SO.

My best friends are people that I WILL listen to. They don't have the inside view of things like I do, but the outside view is always good to listen to.

[Simslover92]

I tell my best friend everything. I love my boyfriend but there are some things I just don't tell him.

[DizzyDesii]

I’ve seen how people move so i dont really trust either

[TenderFantasy]

The last one. I don't like betraying people's trust. I've had that happen and it's painful.

[WhitneySnow]

Equal. I wouldn’t share anything one told me in confidence with the other one.

[Anonymous]

My wife. the moment a man or woman values a bestie's words over the words of a wife or husband is the moment the relationship is done. Its pathetic honestly.

[Asker]

The question however is if your best friend told you something about their own lives and told you to keep it a secret, should you tell your spouse, so in fact, you would be telling the secret of your best friend to your spouse without your best friends permission or vice versa if your spouse told you a secret.

[Needtoknow30]

It just depends. I would only tell someone’s secret if it was harmful to them or others! If it is something irrelevant to that I would keep my lips shut.

[mandyfire98]

My significant other is my best friend.

[IslaTheWitch]

lol

I wouldn't share anyway.

[rosemilk]

my partner, 100%

[sheikalana]

Always my s/o.

[Ironic_Method]

My SO *is* my best friend.

[LiamJHayden]

I would keep the secret either way.

[TiaNour]

My best friend lol

[Carly2005]

Best friend currently single.

[kingmaker21]

Best friends come first over her...

[Butthurt-Troll]

I have no friends.

[Veles]

I’m offended..

[litty736]

My SO.

[Anonymous]

My family.

[Anonymous]

Rule #1 trust no one

[kingmaker21]

Rule #2 trust yourself