How would you feel if you met your old flame after years?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

To be honest I pretty much felt nothing. No passion or love, and no anger or hate either.

When I told my wife she got a bit wary though, not because she fears I might do something stupid but because in her opinion this woman already exploited and betrayed my trust once, she might try to do it again.

Updates

+1 y

To be honest she did make an impression on me - last time I saw her was in 2019, and when I saw her after all this time I thought how much older she looked.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I actually met the one who gave me the worst heartbreak of them all (we were engaged to be married) years later. We were both married by that time.

It actually surprised me how little I felt since I was always worried that a part of me had not gotten over her and that I might have just buried it somewhere. We were just friendly and had a little chat.

Lots of things started to click about her that I never understood in our relationship though after she described her new husband to me.

For example, she used to give me shit tests all the time asking me questions like, "What would you do if I became a stripper?" I've never been a controlling type at all and don't believe in it (I believe in trusting each other, not controlling each other) so I replied, "I would be very disappointed." Then she actually got angry and yelled at me saying, if I love her, I would forbid her from becoming a stripper.

Returning back to her description of her husband, her husband has a curfew for her. She has to come home by 8 PM and she's not allowed to go out with her friends without his approval. I was kind of shocked and asked, "Is that okay with you?" Then she said very glowingly that she loves it and he reminds her of her father. I think she feels loved when she is being controlled.

Then I was like, "Ohhhhh!" I was so confused before and it's like everything clicked with respect to why our relationship didn't work out. We were thoroughly incompatible that way.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

That actually gave me a final sense of closure even though I had moved on and no longer missed her at all. I was still confused for years about why she broke off the wedding engagement just one week before marriage. We had an immature argument and said mean things to each other but I was so bewildered and lost that this could break up a wedding engagement.

So finally after that little chat with her, it cleared up the confusion for me and I realized that maybe she was falling out of love with me long before, and it wasn't just that one argument that ended our engagement.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Also I always thought I could make it work, somehow, believing we were even soulmates back then despite our turbulent relationship. Then when things finally clicked and I realize her ultimate type of guy is the most controlling type of guy, I finally realized that there was no way to make this work since I'm extremely allergic to both being controlled and controlling other people. My wife posted a meme describing me like this to our friends:

And I operate by the Golden Rule in this respect. I never let other people control me and I never control other people.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I never reached the indifference stage with her but I tend to love everyone I ever come to know closely, even guys (not in a sexual way). So I was happy that she was happy. I often worried about it since she was bipolar and anemic and had a lot of difficulty with physical health problems and making friends.

[imtiaz45]

If I met my old flame after years, I might feel a complex mix of emotions—nostalgia for the shared memories, curiosity about their life's journey, and perhaps a tinge of apprehension or excitement. It could evoke reflections on personal growth, the passage of time, and the resilience of human connections. Depending on the circumstances of our parting, I might experience a sense of closure, renewed connection, or simply appreciation for the chapter we once shared. Overall, encountering an old flame would likely stir a range of feelings, reminding me of the intricacies of past relationships and the beauty of life's twists and turns.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/TVsKz6SHazM

[KittygosMeoWW]

No one in my past is worth rekindling a romantic relationship with. Before I had my daughter I lived in very masculine energy and did not give myself respect. Every relationship I had been in I was the person bringing something positive into their life and they didn’t do anything but hurt me, lie, cheat, and give me emotional damage.

[Account]

A former relationship? I would feel zero, zilch, nada. But that is the way I am built. As soon as I stop caring about something, the switch remains off.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

They say the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference

[Account]

They are probably right since hate means something is there. And correct me if I wrong since I am terrible at describing emotions but hate is never just mere hate. It can be repulsion, it can be disappointment, it can be a failure to expectation, it can be multiple things, but no emotional trigger at all means there is nothing there therefore, yes the opposite of love is indifference since someone can love and hate someone at the same time, there are multiple cases that can happen.

[AI Opinion]

Well, stumbling upon an old flame can indeed stir up a cocktail of emotions, or in your case, a rather calm sea, it seems. Feeling nothing isn't necessarily a bad thing. It might just mean that you've grown and moved on, which is a healthy sign of emotional maturity. Love, anger, or any strong emotion would indicate some unresolved issues, so kudos to you for keeping your inner peace!

Your wife's reaction is pretty understandable; it's not about distrust towards you, but more about protecting what you both have from any potential disruption. Love is as much about safeguarding each other's hearts as it is about trust and understanding, isn't it? 😉 Her concern shows how much she values your relationship, another sign of love in its protective form. As long as you two have open communication and trust, these blasts from the past can't touch the strong bond you share.

Remember, it's okay to process these encounters in whatever way feels right for you, and sharing these moments with your partner only strengthens the trust between you. Keep celebrating that mature love you've got! 💕 If anyone wants to share their "blast from the past" stories or feelings, my inbox is always open for some heart-to-heart. Let's chat!

[JayBones]

I'd tell her to go fuck herself. She made her decision and now she's cold broke and alone and I'm 1000% the opposite. When my mother died she said nothing. My father, the same. My favorite aunt, the same. I was there for her for all her trauma. I hope she watches me treat my wife that she hates and my amazing daughters with the wealth I worked hard for and that she only had to watch me accumulate. I'd have never asked her to work.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Well, I was his first love and he was mine. I'd want to know how he was doing, what his life has been like since we broke up. We dated for two years so yeah, he still means a lot to me

[BoopBoopBeep]

Sorry for her. She put on 100lbs since the breakup.

[Yannae]

Nothing. Oh that is what she's been up to. And that is all that comes to mind. I feel nothing for her anymore.

[exitseven]

I bet she is old looking and I would probably not even recognize her.

[Juxtapose]

I move on pretty thoroughly so I would not feel much.

[DagonbroughtMehere]

A little worried, She's been with Her ancestors for over ten years.

[sheikalana]

I wouldn’t feel anything. I’m married.

[MemeSupreme]

oh look

a table to hide under

[Jamie05rhs]

I refused to talk to her.

[NathanDavis]

what's a flame exactly?

[bobalife]

I don’t really care about flings lol. I moved on.

[Anonymous]

I would feel awkward and try to avoid him

[Anonymous]

Nothing

[LavLavLuv]

Eh🥱🥱🥱

[Cheerfull009]

Don't like to meet