Why do we meet people who will just leave you later?

[blueeeeberrryyy]

Why do we meet people who are not meant to be in our life and we still get attached to them emotionally and then someday you lose them really unexpectedly
I just want to know why we meet someone unexpectedly and then they make your life really better than it could ever be and then you fall in love but then because of a really unexpected reasons you can't be together anymore and it's not even in your hand to change that or control that. If it's only meant to end up being the biggest heartbreak then just why do we meet them

[IslaTheWitch]

you need to give yourself time to observe and get to know people better before you let them into your life...

there is no better way to avoid disappointments later

[blueeeeberrryyy]

How long should I observe people before letting them into my life?

[IslaTheWitch]

until you feel you know them... you can predict their behavior in different situations...

it's easy for me... there is a man in the pub I visit from time to time... I have seen him, I think, six months already. He always sits in the same place, sometimes helps the bartender sometimes solves louder or manual disagreements between guests... I assume the owner hired him, or he is a co-owner of this pub.

so last six months, 2-3 times per month, I can see him, observe him. We've never talked :D I go there alone or with my friend. Last time, I did a move :D I smiled when he looked at me and didn't turn my gaze away. He smiled back.

That's it. I didn't encourage him for anything else; I just returned to my drink and conversation with my friend. He understood. It's my pace. We will see what will happen next time, but I'm not in a hurry, and I like the thrill of anticipation.

On this level, I don't even know if this acquaintance will survive next month, if we will become friends, or maybe something more. I have time to observe him in different situations. To make up my mind and be sure if it's what I want.

[blueeeeberrryyy]

owhhh I see

[blueeeeberrryyy]

But when you've observed them and you are sure they won't leave but then because of unexpected reasons you can't be together anymore but you are really emotional and it was a really strong emotional bond then what should I do how can I accept it

[IslaTheWitch]

It doesn't happen if you know each other long enough... of course, life can happen... but believe me, sudden death is quite a rare occurrence. The rest can be solved one way or another, if both people want it...

If you know each other long enough, you can say what and how people feel about you, what is possible and what is not...

[Minnow21]

The way I heard it said to me is that those who are meant to stay in your life will stay, and those who leave your life are a lesson. So those people who leave after you got attached to them, maybe there's something you can learn about yourself?

[blueeeeberrryyy]

Isn't it's hard to move on though when you thought that they'd stay with you forever. It's just hard to concentrate on anything now except for thinking about that thing

[Minnow21]

I understand that, I'm currently going through something similar. It's not supposed to be easy. Unfortunately I don't have advice for both thinking about that thing. Maybe you could focus on yourself and taking care of yourself. It's not a solution but it could help

[blueeeeberrryyy]

Owhhh I see hope you get over it soon
Thanks for the advice I'll follow that thank you

[Minnow21]

Thanks, I hope so too, and you're welcome

[Staximus]

Life is not so hard if you have realistic expectations. Falling in love with somebody in the other side of the world is unrealistic unless you or them have time and money to go see each other regularly.

[Staximus]

Don't set yourself up for disappointment

[blueeeeberrryyy]

Right now it feels like it's the end of the world for me I really want to do something about it but I can't

[Staximus]

You'll be fine. Find a real boyfriend, one that lives nearby. Not a fake Internet boyfriend

[blueeeeberrryyy]

But we talked on video call everyday for 1 year and we met 2 times in real life it's not fake :(

[Staximus]

He still wasn't your boyfriend. You have to see somebody more than 2 times in your life for them to be your boyfriend

[blueeeeberrryyy]

But we were planning to move in together this year in June everyone knew about this

[Staximus]

So how were you going to move in together when you said he lives 13000 kilometers away?

[blueeeeberrryyy]

We planned that after our high school we would go to the same University and we can live together in the same country then

[Staximus]

And who was going to pay for all that? Jesus?

[blueeeeberrryyy]

We would get part time jobs for paying the rent and our parents would give the uni fees

[laly520]

part of life

some go n some come n some stay

[blueeeeberrryyy]

How do you accept it though cause it's really hard for me to accept it

[laly520]

cuz I always have that in mind
that everyone can leave one day
so im prepared mentally all time

[MrZameer]

Cause it's the life,