Would you be fine with a mutual friend calling your partner "Kitten" as a nickname?

[winetime]

I was in a relationship with a guy and we had a mutual friend, more his friend (even though he knew her through me but that's another story). She called him kitten also when I was around and I hated every second of it. Platonic he said but I didn't like it.

The word I think to me has a very sexual/lover connotation when you call someone else that. It's not a name for a platonic friend in my silly opinion. This became a whole thing as I had to bring it up multiple times but he said it was just a nickname and it wasn't a big deal, for me it was just too much and if she called him cat or whatever I wouldn't have cared. But kitten? Come oooon.

It's been months and I was wondering what people think of this. Am I being too insecure or is it just... not good?
Please share your opinions and vote if you got some time to spare? Thanks!

(We've broken up awhile ago. This is just a "I wonder what people think of this because am I really insecure or is it not that common.")

Yes, it's just a nickname.

No, that's too much.

[PreferNot2Say]

One thing you need to accept right now and save yourself some future heartache. Men and women have not ever nor will ever be able to be just platonic friends. It's biologically impossible. At some point one of them will develop sexual attraction or even deeper feelings. It's a fact that it'll happen and sometimes it's not voiced, but it will come out in other ways. Relationships are hard work to begin with, why add even more problems?

You definitely were not out of line. If a so-called friend of mine was calling my significant other a cute little pet name or in your case an obvious sexual connotation, I would have kicked him to the curb and if she kept seeing him after, kick her to the curb like you did.

Good work on your part by breaking up with her. Do you know if those two ever hooked up or dated?

[RavVid]

It was calling him effeminate. I'm surprised he tolerated it. I think she intruded on patch of being the intimate partner.

[sage2021]

My last boyfriend who was living with me called my female helper who has worked for me for years, abd before he moved in.
One day she comes over to bring the groceries she picked up for me. He opened the door and I just knew they were going to end up together and sexual too

At first he called her "kiddo" even though she's 60. Then about after a month he started calling her "my dear". That's when I knew they were doing romantic things behind my back. I'm sure they would have ended up moving in with each other because he started treating me way different before she came along.

So, yes, you are right that kitten is a name that sounds person and you should be mad about it.

Tell him to call her by her frickin name if you go back with him.

Screw him?

[777GgG]

Depends on why or how the name came about. I call one of my coworkers cupcake (we work in a bakery). An acquaintance of mine calls his kid puppy it's a childhood nickname. So I'm the future some people will know him as puppy and other will know him as John.
If they both insist it's harmless and you have no reason to believe otherwise it shouldn't bother you. But you were vocal about it so as you friend and your s/o they also should've respected your wishes.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, the infamous "Kitten" saga! You're not alone in feeling the way you do. Nicknames like these often carry a deeper connotation, making the waters of platonic friendship a bit too... steamy, shall we say? 😉 On the surface, sure, it's just a word, but context is everything, and "Kitten" is definitely on the flirty side, especially if it makes your whiskers twitch in discomfort.

Your feelings are valid, lovely! It's not about being insecure; it's about respect and understanding each other's comfort zones. Communication is key in any relationship, and it seems like this nickname scratched at yours. It's totally fair to expect partners to be sensitive to what makes us purr or hiss, right? In the end, it's not about being right or wrong. It's about feeling respected and heard. 🐾

[IslaTheWitch]

sure, it's common thing friends give each other nicknames. My best friend often calls me "babe" and all have to accept it. My partners were mature and trusted me. So they didn't treat my friend as their competition.

Work on your insecurities

[kmg9150]

You should have been mature enough to not him call you babe anymore. You sure it wasn't validation in which you still needed? I’m sure if the tables were turned you wouldn't like it.

[IslaTheWitch]

@kmg9150 I have no problem with nicknames; my husband's first girlfriend and his best female friend still call him "hun." They started using those words years ago, long before I met him. I never felt a need to change that. We created our set of nicknames :D

The reason I'm called "babe" is that I'm relatively small (5'1", under 95 lbs), and my best friend is rather... huge (6'5", 230 lbs), walking mountain of muscles and ego :D, so during our 40 years long friendship I was always "babe" for him

[Anonymous]

Sorry I clicked on the wrong poll. It's off limits to call your partner in any nickname by a friend. Because that's being affectionate and it's stirring things up. You can call him in nicknames as you guys are together (from what I understood). You should speak to the girl and be territorial. Because there are many women, who are shameless and will do anything to get a man even if they were taken. Yes it's a bit of a B!&ch move to mark your territory, but I have seen many women fight with anyone to keep that person away from their man. And usually with men, in my experience, I have seen them to not makes these things an issue and they stay on middle ground. So don't be quiet about this. I think it'll be effective for you to talk to the girl.

[ArrowheadSW]

That is a bit much since you were in a relationship with him at the time.

[sawno]

Only if there is an obvious reason for it, like if her online nickname is strongly related to that then yeah. Out of the blue? Nope, to sexual.

[bobalife]

Um yeah that’s weird, it’s more than okay to express your concern and boundaries.

[Suzu7]

You look like a cute little pig

[bobalife]

Lol thanks? 😅😂

[Suzu7]

No prob

[Staximus]

I've never heard of a woman calling a man kitten. If I had a girlfriend or wife and some guy called her kitten, I'd tell him it's time for him to leave.

[JayBones]

My Daughters nickname is HelKat (real name Helen Katerine) she is a Helkat for sure. We should have named her "never bad" but I was 27 and dumb.

[SotiCoto]

Please don't sexualise kittens. They're underage.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yeah, that's not platonic.
She was way out of line.

[sheenagwapa]

no that's disrespectful

[Phoenix98]

No I wouldn't be ok with that.

[laly520]

nope

thats crossing the lines

[LavLavLuv]

Cringe😵‍💫🥴🥴

[LadyLa820]

Sure. If they were fine with it

[AngryCarl]

No, that's both creepy AND disrespectful.

[strateguy632]

yes, fine

[Anonymous]

I absolutely would not tolerate that.

[Anonymous]

Why the nickname kitten?

[Starrrboy]

Not.. cool...