Have you ever felt like you were being used by someone?

Question

Someone you trusted and cared about , but you realize they don’t think the same about you

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yeah 9 out of 10 times my gut was right about it.

When I was younger I usually acted very considerate, happy go lucky and optimistic around women. But there were times my gut knew bullshit was going on. The most common exploitation tactic women used against me was friendzone bs. These women knew damn well I liked them but since I was a “nice guy” they saw that as an opportunity to take advantage me (free favors, attention, being used to make someone else jealous).

However I acted naive when I shouldn’t. I was hoping for the best and didn’t want to come off as paranoid. I was hoping I was just being paranoid but deep down I knew exactly what was going on. The ugly truth was the truth.

Besides the feeling of being used it was the extremely insulting feeling of not being respected as a real man. And women do not look at men they friendzone as real men. They don’t even consciously realize it but it’s true. They have no idea how insulting that is to the man.

I haven’t let a woman get away with that bs in many years. I will cut them off and never look back if they try it. But I’ve had a few try (which is insulting). The biggest challenge is I need to forgive myself for being a sucker when I was younger. But my ego wants to cling on to the animosity.

It’s also preventing me from developing a genuine relationship with a woman. I find myself pushing sex earlier to “show where I stand”.

FunkyMonkee · Accepted Answer

Yes! My first girlfriend TOLD me she was using me to make another guy jealous.
My 3rd girlfriend mostly used me for her own selfish needs the last year or two we were together. It was Christmas and she decided we should get my grandmother a wool blanket. It was $20.00 and we decided to split it 50/50 but, she didn't have the money when we bought it so, I paid for it and she said she'd give me her half, later. When I mentioned it to her a week or so later, she said she didn't owe me anything!
A couple months later, she stole stuff from me while she was at my house. Mostly CD's. All she had to do was ASK and I would've been HAPPY to MAKE HER copies of the stuff!!
There were other instances but, I won't bother going into any lengthy extrapolations.

Kayla45 · Accepted Answer

Yep, it happens from time to time.

People who you think are your friends turn out to be your greatest enemies. Granted this isn't always the case, but I've had several so called "friends" who used me just because they thought it would be hilarious to pretend to be my friend so I wouldn't be so lonely during highschool.

Ended up trusting them, telling them private things about what I was going through. They used it as blackmail and I got brutally bullied until graduation. I even tried to give them things to make them stop.

People can be horrible creatures, I'd rather spend time with animals than people...

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Yeah… not a good feeling, though I guess I can understand that sometimes that happens, you know? I had a friend who only called when he needed to chat and vent about his life — not just with me, but with the people in our group of friends. I was ok with it in general, but ultimately it became too much and we had to have a serious sit down to chat about what to share with the group and what to go see a professional about. We're still friends, but now he sees a therapist when it's time to sort through his life problems, which has helped keep his friendships alive.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Absolutely, finding out you're the main character in someone else's "use and discard" story can really sting. It’s like you’re giving out Academy Award-worthy performances in loyalty, only to discover they’re treating the relationship like a free trial subscription they never intended to renew. The realization hits harder when it's someone you've adorned with your trust and affection, right? As painful as it might be, this is a classic lovebombing into ghosting scenario, a red flag fiesta, if you will. It’s crucial to remember that someone’s inability to see your worth doesn’t decrease your value. It’s their loss, truly. So, dust off that heartache and remember that understanding and respecting your own worth is the real love story here. Keep shining, and don’t let anyone dim that sparkle of yours!

Pinay_ako · Answer

Used me as their emotional punching bag/therapist.

el_Te_de_la_Rosa · Answer

When I was a volunteer... all the time.

Now I quit being too kind and set my boundaries, so people would know when I'm tired of being asked to do stuff for them for free. And they were just sitting around, being lazy.

I didn't have anyone that I cared for personally back then. It's not about a relationship anyways.

Purpleronnie · Answer

I think most it don’t all of us have or will get used at some point. Whether it’s framed as taking advantage of a persons Kind or good natured or stone cold deception and manipulation , I know I have experienced both. I could chose to be bitter and get all twisted up mentally about it or I could arm myself with the experience. One thing is for certain though while I will guard myself against it I refuse to become cynical and untrusting changing the very nature of who I believe I am.

ShellyB · Answer

Of course, depending where you draw the line I would say everybody uses and gets used, but as far as something bigger or deceptive or negative, yes I think I was used in a pretty bad way for sexual purposes or ego boost by two guys in a row, it messed me up for a while but that was years ago it is fine now.

Starrrboy · Answer

Ah yes.. my sister used me as her emotional rock when she was going through hard times with her marriage and stuff and on the verge of a breakdown.. I'm not really close with her but I'm a man and she's my sister so I had to be there for her.. now, that she's in a better place, her " favorite person in the world " is not important anymore and when he asks her for some favors she barely returns his calls..

Nikki1989 · Answer

I was used for money and sex once, but I was onto it pretty quickly.

menina · Answer

Yes, a couple of times. It was mostly when I was a teenager and when I was in my early 20's.

I was used by a girl, I thought she was my friend. Recently I realized that she was using me. Unfortunately I couldn't grasp it back then.

ElenaNazrova · Answer

Yes like it was by by all kind body, money, love etc

dustybiker2 · Answer

Sure. That's when I cut them out. Hey how did you heal from your surgery? All good now?

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Of course, when i was young. Now that i won’t let people take advantage of me, i’m considered “jaded”. Ell oh ell!

CriticalCatDad123 · Answer

All of my exes were using me for something. Whether it be money or sex. Makes me think all relationships are about are giving and not recieving

LaurenM1997 · Answer

Yes my ex used me he cheated on me and also made me heartbroken to the point where I starved myself

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Yes. Unfortunately, that has happened several times in my life. It's always an interesting pill to need to swallow.

Dongie · Answer

I AM the used one. I help every lying, cheating, thieving, user that comes to my gullible door. I always figure them to late and swear never again, but...

LiamJHayden · Answer

Yes, and the minute I sense it I cut the person off.

Awesomesauce2005 · Answer

Past 3 girls I asked out took advantage of me.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Often. I don’t blame them. I know how wonderful I am.

whistlingwh0res · Answer

I let that happen because I was lonely and bored. I needed a company. now that I learned, I would prefer to be lonely.

IWILLPLEASEYOU · Answer

Unfortunately the truth is yes, I am currently keeping the details to myself.

abc3643 · Answer

You are describing my marriage 100%.

StarWarGirl · Answer

Lot many times.

hannahjame2027 · Answer

Yeah a lot of Times

laly520 · Answer

yes happened

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Story of my life

emma1131 · Answer

yeah sadly right now

NathanDavis · Answer

no reason to

itsclearlynicholas · Answer

Countless times

jahaims · Answer

Nope.

Kathy1111 · Answer

yes i have

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