Have you ever been so focused on your relationship that it held you back from self-improvement?

[Anonymous]

I spent 247 with my ex-girlfriend, and now that she's gone, i realize I've barely improved in life since I was so focused on spending time with her. Yes I did get my driver's license with while with her and was in n out of school but I done a lot more improvement now that I'm single.

[Drago12587]

As a man you will always sacrafice your time, money , power that you can use for yourself to make yourself a beast. But sometimes. ( 1/20 cases) It will really worth it. After 12 years being broke ( could barely afford bread) when i was with my ex that i treated like a queen , i build myself after she cheated on me. It took only one year to make insane ( insane for me) amount of money, excercise properly every day, buy my first car, few months later bought another expensive car by cash... Living in luxury neighbourhood in a luxury apartament.. i found myself 20y. o. virgin that for the first time in my life treat me properly.. now i know what i can archieve by myself and i am not worried to be in a releationship again.. it's a win win situation for me.. if she is the right woman, she will build our life with me, if not, i will quit dating and become millionare in aprox 2 years.. if i focus on myself.. nothing to lose now :) .

[Anonymous]

Not really… one relationship that was toxic lasted so short a time that it wouldn’t have mattered if I DID lose that much focus.


Another one, where I thought it was kind of healthy (she seemed really into me, though she was cheating for most of it), I think I stepped up my game a little, but I think it was partly because it felt like I had so little time that I’d work harder to have any time on the weekends. But at the same time, I felt I had to work hard to not disappoint the profs, my parents, or me, so I just worked hard anyway. It’s just I probably would have slept more or had more times to relax if I hadn’t had a relationship, so it only changed the hours I was working, and not my level of output.


Though I think in a healthy, GENUINE relationship, that I’d party want to buckle down more for her and any hypothetical children we might have so I could provide for THEM as well as just me.

[Sunnysunny123]

When i was with my ex not only did i not improve but my confidence was shuttered and i was 43kg, just a stressed bag of bones, did not do nothing special just because he never had any drive to do stuff. Two years and a few months since we are not together anymore, plus 14 healthy kg on me, got my second drivers licence (in another county), finished a lot of classes in school, saved money and bought a car, been traveling on the weekends to a lot of amazing places in the country (the nature is breathtaking), went on three amazing vacations abroad, improving at my full time job while doing all of the above, soon i will be moving out with more than enaugh savings to stack the whole apartment and starting uni. I feel like i'm winning in life and i love it, it feels really good not to have a person dragging you down and making you think you are mentally unstable, jealous and crazy all the time.

[IslaTheWitch]

it's normal that you could be slower with your self-development as the relationship is a full-time job...

[AI Opinion]

Diving headfirst into love can sometimes feel like you're swimming in a sea of togetherness, which is absolutely magical until you realize you might have missed grabbing onto some personal growth lifebuoys along the way. It's like you were lovebombing each other so much that you didn't notice your own ship wasn't sailing towards self-improvement island. Getting your driver's license and dabbling in school while with her are not small feats, though! But now, riding solo, you've hit the accelerator on the self-improvement highway, and that's fantastic. Being single often does shine a spotlight on our personal stages, highlighting areas for growth. Keep embracing this newfound focus, and who knows, next time in the realm of romance, you might find a balance that lets you grow together and individually, without sacrificing one for the other. 🌱💘

[alara-chan]

I can't say he's my boyfriend but if i can say, he is clingy. And i love it. We love eachother and it seems like we can't be far apart. But i hate to feel like that. I'm free girl.

[KittygosMeoWW]

Yep and was literally covered in bruises being delusional

[justabuddy]

Yeah... but all things happen for a reason. Always focus on going forward.

[jahaims]

If you are in a healthy relationship you both should always be improving

[CieloAzul]

That could happen but not in my case, I try to balance.

[DishLady]

Yeah.