I'm not attracted to fat women and my wife's starting to get pretty fat?

[Anonymous]

Is there anything I can say or do that will get her to put the fork down?

[4ngelic]

- try to take on more of an active role in the planning of meals, cooking and grocery shopping. like that you can control what she eats more. you should do a research on tasty foods that won't be suspect for you to buy that are low on calories that you can implement heavily in the food. so subtily you can make her slim down

- try to incentivize her to pick up an active hobby like a sport. try maybe suggest you both try joining a neighborhood running group or something

- fuck her more, sex is exercise and burns a lot of calories

- try to suggest walking more and using public transport. say maybe you're starting to be more health conscious so that's why you want to start doing that more

- ask her if she's okay. she might be depressed or very stressed out. sudden weight gain like that can be for those reasons. if she's not okay, try to help her. that might fix the problem

- you could also try to tell her bluntely that she's getting fat. though probably leave out that your not super into her body anymore. just say it's out of health concern. try to say that stuff in a more sugarcoated but direct way

[Asker]

These are all good suggestions. Thank you!

[Apple1996]

You shouldn't have gotten married if you are this shallow

[Asker]

I can't be that shallow if she married me. Because women don't like shallow guys right. Is your husband fit?

[Apple1996]

She might now know that you are shallow. It can easily be hidden

[_piotr]

She should have not married if she is so selfish that she can't lose some weight for a loved person. It is not shallow to care for partner's body. It is 50% of a human you love.

[Apple1996]

@_piotr not everyone gains weight cuz they are selfish. My mom gained weight like crazy for about 10 years. It ended up being from breast cancer and the hormones that caused it

[_piotr]

Then ok. But the person should at least try to look attractive for partner. If it is a health problem than that is different.

[Apple1996]

@_piotr being skinny is attractive to everyone. a lot of men don't wanna fuck a pile of bones

[_piotr]

You should try to be attractive to your partner and also be happy how you look yourself. If your partner likes you fat, then eat but stay healthy.

[Apple1996]

@_piotr not my job to be attractive for my partner 🤷‍♀️

[_piotr]

I know you are selfish from different posts. But people usually are not. Most people, including me, wish to be attractive to our partners. You are the odd one who charge husband for sex. Shame on you!

[Apple1996]

@_piotr it's not selfish to not care about looks. The love part is more important for a relationship

[_piotr]

It IS very selfish. Not only towards your partner but also other people. Physicality is a part of love. People should do best for their partners, but you treat your partner like trash. Selling children, charging for sex, not carring to be attractive for partner - you are probably one of the worst possible partners on Earth.

[Apple1996]

@_piotr physical attraction is lust not love. And my husband likes being with me so no issues here

[_piotr]

If your husband loves ugliness then ok for him. Not generally though. Attraction is important part of physical love. Human is made of body, mind and soul. We are not only energy spheres. By ignoring body you ignore 1/3 of you partner.

[_piotr]

If love has nothing to do with physicallity you can always stop washing yourself and stop wearing clean clothes. That should also be OK. Your husband should be very happy about this.

[Apple1996]

@_piotr everyone's looks change overtime. It's just a part of life. Getting with someone for looks is gonna eventually cause the relationship to die off

[Apple1996]

@_piotr looks and being dirty are two different things. I don't want a infection or something from being dirty 😂 my husband is super into my natural scent tho

[_piotr]

Looks is part not whole cause of relationship! Read with understanding. Physical attraction is more important with young couples. In older years sex is not important anymore since estrogen and testosteron regresses. Libido drops. Children are already were born. God/Nature knows what it is doing. But even then, when no sex is involved, to almost end of their life partners can look aesthetically pleasing to each other if they are not lazy about it. Just to make the other happy.

[_piotr]

But bathing improves your looks so stop.

[_piotr]

Stop being nice clothes. Take something out of dumpster. This should also help your cause.

[Apple1996]

@_piotr bathing doesn't acutally help anyone look better🤦‍♀️

[Apple1996]

@_piotr I dress for comfort not looks

[_piotr]

Bathing actually helps to keep body in good condition, so it looks better. You even do not know that.

"I dress for comfort not looks"
Then clothes from dumpster will serve you well. Some people disregard aesthetics. It is your life.

You do not want infection, but you are ok to have health problems with obesity.

[Apple1996]

@_piotr personally bathing makes me look worse. I very purposefully don't wash my hair for 7-10 days because it looks better dirty

[_piotr]

10 days! Bleeeh...

[Apple1996]

@_piotr hair can be trained to stay naturally clean for a long time. It depends on race and hair type tho

[_piotr]

Maybe talk with her. Suggest to do exercise together. Change diet. Etc...

[strateguy632]

Just be annoying, "do you really need that cake chips etc" nag.

[dustybiker2]

Get really fit yourself and ask her to join your routines.

[Asker]

I'm not a gym rat but I do stay fairly active. How can I push her that way. Do you think recommending were workout together as like couples thing would get her going? Or do you think she'd take it as I'm saying, "hey you could stand to lose a few lbs"?

[dustybiker2]

Only way there is the slightest chance of it working is to be a motivator, by doing the hard work yourself. Only fair. Show her how good it feels when you are in peak shape. And it does feel so good. Hard work but worth it.

[Asker]

You can't make a person care who doesn't.

[dustybiker2]

You can't make anyone do anything. You can lure however.

[Anonymous]

She probably feels like your penis isn't big enough.

[_piotr]

... because of her fatness. If she would reduce her weight/size it would help.

[Anonymous]

Put the fork down 🤣

Try suggesting the two of you go to the gym together.

[noohair]

Food can be a way of self medication.

[Asker]

I understand that. I like food as much as the next guy. But I can't get in her head and know those triggers.

[sophiedunn01]

Omg love isn’t about looks

[_piotr]

Physical attraction is. Do not expect to have sex with partner who is not attracted to you. Why also upset him/her. People are ready to even to die for loved ones and you are not even ready to lose some weight for them. Shame!

[andreasderjuengere]

Find a co-wife.