Is it rude, as a fat gal, to suggest that your girlfriend should watch her weight more since she's been getting out of shape?

[Anonymous]

Long story short, I'm concerned that I may come off as being overly rude and hypocritical if I tell my girlfriend that she's getting pretty chubby while I've always been plus size.
For context ever since we known each other I've been plus size while she was quite fit. Last year she started packing on some extra weight and she's getting concerningly chubby.
Would it be an asshole move to ask her to try to get back into shape / offer to cook healthier meals for her?

Yes it is.

No it isn't.

[SomothErgai]

It might come across that way but ultimately I don't think it is rude at all. Certainly not wrong. Imagine, I don't know, like a murderer or something telling people it's wrong to murder. Well if you think about it he would know wouldn't he? Just because someone else is doing something, or has done something that they are now warning you against doesn't make them wrong. in fact it's their direct experience with the thing that should give them even more credibility.

I would say though, a good, maybe less off putting way to go about it, would be to try and get in shape with her. Be like, hey, I'm already overweight, and I don't want to see you go down the same path I did, so let's work on that shit together. keep each other motivated and in check until your both hotties.

Then shoot me a DM and we can talk ;)

[SYTHOX]

The pot calling the kettle black as you said, if you're worried of her weight even though you met her while she was fit and you were not. Then yes she could've been attracted to the extra mass but perhaps you should ask her if she thinks you should also lose weight then perhaps start a weight loss journey together. However expecting her to lose weight without asking her what she thinks of yours is a bit rude, if she thinks the same then there you go. Weight loss journey, communication in a relationship is important as well as sharing honest opinions to each other. But you're not totally in the wrong you fell in love with her while she was fit so you're entitled to feel as if she's gaining too much weight now because you both should always thrive to impress each other as if you first met. Comfortability and love is no excuse to get lazy and stop trying. This is why so many relationships don't work anymore because of the lack of effort on one side or both parties involved.

[avery58]

Yeah, you shouldn't. What you can do is start looking after your weight and health and suggest some of the things you've been trying. For example ask her to go to the gym with you, tell her about your new diet etc

[Dinklex3]

Definitely hypocritical and shitty.

Do you plan on getting into shape with her? Or do you just want her to get fit while you stay your current weight? If you plan on getting in shape as well it’s less shitty.

[Singing_Hollow]

I dont think its rude but definitely think you should focus more on your own weight and health before calling her out on hers. Its good to care about someone you love's wellbeing but how can you care for her if you can't care for yourself. Get healthy together.

[Levin]

It is hypocritical, yes.

Curious on your deeper motivation. ie do you find her less attractive?

Are your bad habits wearing off on her?

I think you should work on your own weight, and then work with her on that basis.

After all, it's about health, more than anything.

[Anonymous]

Ok , on the surface it sounds rude and very pot and kettle but thinking that I understand that it’s coming from a place of concern from you for the “change” aspect than pointing out the obvious , perhaps it should be talked about or at least given the place to be talked about. Let’s be fair I’m sure she realizes herself. There is nothing wrong with putting on a few pounds and even a little more besides as long as it’s not a symptom of something more profoundly negative emotionally or mentally

[Nikki1989]

Yes, it is rude. I was raised to believe if you can't say something nice, mind your own business.

[Anonymous]

In other words, "do what you say, not what you do?" What's your own justification for not watching your own weight, or not getting back into shape for yourself? Do you tell yourself "well, I've always been fat?" What are you going to say - if you don't start watching yourself, you'll end up looking like me?

Why don't you suggest that you both go on a plan to lose weight and get in shape together?

[TommyMountainFigure]

If you're doing it because of how you think she looks, it is wrong.. If it is because you are concerned about her health though, that is fine in my book!

[random779]

in my own opinion, will it be particularly rude? no. not unless you mean it with malicious intent. is it hypocritical? maybe, depending on your circumstances. if you're open to self improvement, you could ask her if she wants to diet together/work out!

[Wraith_Cemetery]

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

[laly520]

no need
she might get hurt or maybe she is already trying
who knows but u could give a kind hint

[butterly248]

Like healthy eating together, cutting down on sugar etc :)

[laly520]

@butterly248 yes indeed

[OtterMan68]

you should invite her to join some athletic endeavors like yoga, pilates, tennis, pickleball, training for a 5k, etc and when you go out to eat, order something sensible and healthy.

[mayurr]

Any person who is getting out of shape should be suggested to move their body as it's not just about appearance.
That increasing fat is dangerous for their body.
It's good for them only.

[Anonymous]

No, you wouldn't be an a**hole if you did it TACTFULLY. But that doesn't mean she won't still get offended.

[AngryCarl]

Your friend probably knows already that she's fat.

[Anonymous]

Why would you need to tell her? Is she blind? Doesn’t she have a mirror? Is she a nudist so doesn’t notice when the clothes fit differently?

She already know, there’s no need for you to ”tell her” or point it out wtf.

[Asker]

that wasn't the question, try reading it again... I wasn't asking "hey should I tell her she's getting kinda fat?" I was asking if it would be rude/hypocritical to say that she SHOULD try getting back into shape.
You know that does not suggest in any ways that she does not know that she got bigger, so I don't get where you got all that from...

[Account]

I think it is hypocritical af.

[CrabCakes11]

You guys can get in shape together!

[bobby_bush_eater]

It's called a hypocrite.

[butterly248]

You support her and not tell her she is fat.

[Anonymous]

Only if you tell her without being asked.

[DonFredoCorleone]

hey this is good