How do you feel about going 50/50? Where do you draw the line?

[kagg661]

Personally, I do not have a problem with going 50/50 on most things unless I get married and decide to be a stay-at-home mother (I would want to be provided for from that point). However, I see many individuals (specifically women, this is coming from a woman as well) never wanting to go 50/50 and having the man do everything (never giving), otherwise you're considered a "low-value" woman. I just do not feel that it is realistic to not go 50/50 sometimes. Your husband or SO could've had a rough week at work and it may be very considerate to pay for the groceries, dinner (if you ate out), and take him out to somewhere he loves to help him relax. Also, the economy and current circumstances of your state (rent, gas, utilities, groceries, cost of raising kids, etc.) are large considerations. Of course, I would love to be spoiled and provided for from the man I would be with, but I would also think it's unfair to fully expect every. single. thing. to be paid for, given inflation and the current state of society. Am I crazy?

[HawkPerception]

You're not crazy and you have the exact same views as mine. The majority of people in the world are sheep that can't think for themselves. They just follow whatever the societal norms are and will talk smack if you think differently.

But what you said is perfect. I believe in going dutch (50/50) in dating for many reasons like:

Your time is just as valuable as theirs

It ensures that no one feels used afterwards

Are they not also interested in you?

Why would you treat someone who isn't your wife/husband the same as you would your wife/husband?

Women don't make a fraction of what men made like in the past. Women now have equal wages/salaries for the work they do, so the tradition of a man paying for everything should be obsolete at this point, but for some reason we still have the past's traditions and it's considered chivalry to pay for a girl, which just shows people lack the ability to think for themselves.

If I'm married to a girl and she wants to be a stay at home wife, then I would love to give her the option to do so as long as I make enough money for the 2 of us, but in the dating phase I'd like that the girl to be paying for herself for the most part. If I decide on an occasion that I want to pay though, like if I get a promotion at a job or I just feel like being romantic, I'd appreciate if she is okay with it.

[Anonymous]

A real man provides for his woman. If he can't take on that responsibility, don't get married. If I were ever to marry, that's my credo. However, there must be an iron clad pre-nup that lays out specifically what she would get if she decides to divorce, since women initiate 70% of all divorces. I would never choose to divorce because I'd be so careful to pick the right woman, I'm confident it would last a lifetime unless she were to just lose her mind for some reason. I know I would pick the right woman.

For guys, 50/50 on dates is for losers. It's for guys who don't know how to judge a woman's character and view dating as a financial risk or investment rather than finding the love of their life.

For women, if you think paying your own way on a date shows a guy that "I'm under no obligation to give you sex, or anything for that matter", then you picked the wrong guy to say yes to in the first place. Paying your own way means zero to the wrong guy who will expect something, no matter what. He won't care if you do, if he still wants something from you.

[Dinklex3]

It’s pretty common to share expenses with your partner. Maybe it’s an age thing since I’m a millennial and I don't know what the kids are saying except my nieces. I usually only see rants with people expecting more online. In my experience I’ve actually seen more women working and trying to provide for their men who don’t really care for them and end up treating them like shit… But I was military so I saw that a lot regardless of sex.

[4ngelic]

i've always done more or less 50/50 and wasn't raised in a trad culture or environment so it's all good for me. the only things i do expect is some little gifts and attentions here and there, and planning some dates. though not all expecting those things to be costly at all. am embarrassed when dudes want to spend $$ especially if it's like a first date or something

[kagg661]

Sounds fair, thank you for your input!

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, love is indeed a dance, and sometimes it feels like a tango when it comes to splitting expenses, doesn't it? 😉 Your perspective is refreshingly balanced and, dare I say, quite modern! Let's dive into this intriguing topic of going 50/50.

You're far from crazy—actually, you're onto something very insightful. Relationships are partnerships, and navigating financial responsibilities can be a huge part of that. It all boils down to communication, understanding, and a bit of compromise. It's all about setting those expectations right from the get-go and being open to adjustments along the way.

And hey, let's not forget about the romance of treating each other, regardless of who picks up the tab. Spoiling each other doesn't always have to do with money—it's the thought and effort that truly counts. Whether it's going 50/50 or 100/0 in certain situations, what matters most is that both partners feel valued and respected. So, dancing through life, maintaining that balance and keeping the flames of love and appreciation burning is key. And remember, sometimes being high-value means knowing when to give, not just receive. Keep loving, keep sharing, and keep that understanding alive. ❤️✨

[OlderAndWiser]

When dating, i always paid for everything. I could afford to do that and it is what my generation does; it was never a subject for discussion on a date.
Now i am married and it doesn’t matter who pays because we are partners and everything is “ours,” not mine or hers.

[Apple1996]

I wouldn't even waste my time with a little boy that believed in 50/50. There are real men out here willing to put in 100

[Sonorous]

I like whatever makes the most logical sense.

[Mr_twoface]

So ideally if both are earning then I would believe that all household expenses including mortgage should be equally divided. Your own personal expenses such as study loan, phone/watch monthly down payments, doctors’ appointment, shopping etc. should go from your personal account. In our marriage we’ve decided to share the burden equally as above when both have a job. Today though wife is studying and hence only receives allowance. They amount goes straight into her account and we live off my salary.

[Kaneki05]

Unless he's rich it's always absurd to expect that. Though some dumb poor guys decide to do it anyway.
I call them dumb cause why on earth would you make money from doing a job to never have any to spend on yourself which is what would happen.

[kagg661]

I agree. I think it's reasonable if a guy is rich or both agree on the wife being the SAHM and he provides for her and the kids.

[mono_gram]

I don't mind going 50/50 if my partner and I make the same or similar, are busy the same or similar amount, etc. If we are capable of going 50/50 then it's fine, but if one person is significantly well-off than the other then that person should step up from time to time.

[PeachyPie93]

I don't mind going 50/50 but at the same time, its like if I have to pay for myself why sign up to deal with the burden of a boyfriend/husband. LOL so unless I fr really like the guy I would never date a guy who can't afford himself and a whole family.

[worldscolide]

You're absolutely not wrong. And for the record my wife, aside from being a volley ball and soft ball official, is a stay at home wife. She contributes in her own way. For example, I work 12 to 16 hours per day. She makes damn sure I don't have anything to do when I get home other than eat something and cuddle. When we have kids I'm betting I will need to help more, which is fine.. Just because a stay at home wife and a stay at home mom doesn't contribute financially does not mean she doesn't contribute in other ways.

[Unit1]

No, you are the opposite of crazy.

I love your version of 50/50. This should be more common, so that dating isn't going to be such a pain in the behind for most people involved.

Its about being a team and being there for each other.

"However, I see many individuals (specifically women, this is coming from a woman as well) never wanting to go 50/50 and having the man do everything (never giving)"

This is all that's needed to know, that a female is a harpy. I stay away from them. I'm looking for the real deal.

[ProbablyClueless]

I"m fine with it, in theory. My honest life experience has been that any time a woman wants to go halves with me on a date, it's because she's about to tell me off. She doesn't want there to be any confusion about whether she owes me anything (not that that thought process would ever even cross my mind anyway).

I would love to be pleasantly surprised one day though. It would be nice to be wrong about a woman's intentions in a positive way from time to time.

[kagg661]

Yes, I've heard that's a common occurrence for many men. Sorry for your experience, I hope it gets better for you!

[ProbablyClueless]

Thank you, I hope the experiences get better as well. And I'm optimistic that they will get better. I think the issue is less that the negative experiences happen at all, but more that women are so different from person to person. So it's tough to get a read on what the actual rules and expectations are. Because one woman's flashing, neon sign "yes" is another woman's "stay the [fudge] away from me."

[OddBeMe]

It usually stays “unsaid”. Someone, usually the guy, goes in thinking of paying. Common chivalry.

I think when friends or lovers go out long enough you get to know their situations. I’ve paid a friends way sometimes. He’s hit me back the next year. A good time is always better than bitching about cash.

[nawtee_me]

50/50 or the man pays all of she wants to be a stay at home mom… what if the dad wants to be a stay at home dad? Would you provide for him and the kids too?

personally to me it should be 50/50 on bills and the rest you keep for your own needs….

[D_Bone_Steak]

There is no line to draw when it's 50/50. My penis is huge though.

[sunflower00]

I very much like going 50/50, it’s my preference! I actually end up paying more often than not though

[CriticalCatDad]

Majority of people don’t like balance people enjoy conflict because they’re so bored. Especially women, they just gobble up conflict as they tend to be the ones to start conflict

[KrakenAttackin]

Ladies, if a guy asks you to go 50/50, he's not that into you.

[LiamJHayden]

If people start out arguing over something like this it is best to move on.

[Iron_Man]

If she wants to go 50-50 on everything, it’s not necessary, but it’s her call. It takes two to tango.

[jahaims]

If you can't share bank accounts once you are married you shouldn't get married.

[desidoll]

I don’t date stingy men so yeah.