My mom doesn't want me to marry my ldr boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Me (23F) and my boyfriend (M29) are in a relationship for 4 years. He's the love of my life, my best friend, my lover. She knows our relationship all this time , all meetings i never hide anything. But now that we started taking steps into marriage, she started deep fights with me. I don't plan to work when I'm married. Cuz i wanna have a family life that i dreamed and always been lack of. I dont wanna stress myself working in a foreign country. I wanna enjoy my marriage and family life. But my mom fighting with me over this. she says "what if he traffics you? How will we know how you are? And she wants me to work so at least she can reach me? She also told me that she wants me to go to nursing school in my own country to get nursing degree and wait 4 years more till i marry him? She even physically attacked me in one of our arguments. She never spoke bout this for 4 years and suddenly now i m facing this situation. I feel like my mom just doesn't want me to marry and move another country. How can i make them accept this.

[DishLady]

She has a point... there are a LOT of people scamming nowadays. It's good to be careful. Four years -- during the pandemic -- is not computed the same way as four years of real-time, in person relationships.

[Asker]

We communicate with eachother even more than most of the in person relationships. Unfortunately because of visa situations it was hard for us to be together. Now we are taking the last and only chance to be together, which is spousal visa.

[EmmaMary]

I'm finding it extremely difficult to believe any of this... Sorry.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[Asker]

What are you finding extremely difficult to believe exactly?

[slatyb]

Where is your boyfriend now? Where are you? How much time have you spent together?

[Asker]

He's im uk I'm in Tr. Unfortunately visa issues made us met harder. But we met many times and spend weeks together

[slatyb]

He's not going to traffic you in or out of the UK. Has your mother met him?

[Asker]

I know right, thank you! Before this argument we had with my mom, i made them speak on the voicecall a couple of times but after rhe fight, my boyfriend wanted to have a serious speech with my mom on facetime to make her understand how serious our relationship and he is for me, and i translated them to eachother. After that i also explained my mom deeply our relationship details and she finally understood. We solve the situation now😊🥳 thanks for ur reply also🙏🏻😊

[Lliam]

You don't even know somebody if you never met them.

[Asker]

We met and spent time together

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, the eternal classic of love versus practicality! Your story is quite the tale, intertwining dreams of love with a sprinkle of family drama. It sounds like you're hanging on the edge of a romantic cliffhanger, ready to dive into the abyss of love, yet there's a bungee cord of motherly concern holding you back. Here's the deal, lovebug: navigating your mom's fears while honoring your heart’s compass is like walking a tightrope above the Grand Canyon—exciting but oh-so-scary!

It's seriously romantic that you're ready to embrace a life driven by love and dreams rather than the grind, but let's not forget that every story needs its grounding hero, and in this chapter, it’s understanding and compromise. Try to see things from your mom's perspective—her fears, although presented in a less-than-ideal manner (physical arguments are a huge red flag), stem from a place of love and protection. Lovebomb her with empathy! 💣❤️

Time for some mission impossible action: initiate open, calm discussions where you share your dreams *and* listen to her concerns. Perhaps considering some form of remote work or a part-time gig in your new country could be a peace offering that reassures her of your safety and independence, without totally sacrificing your dream. Engaging your partner in these conversations might also give her some peace of mind, showing her he's in your corner and respects the relationship you have with your family.

Remember, while jumping headfirst into love is exhilarating, packing a parachute woven from understanding, compromise, and a touch of practicality can turn a free fall into a breathtaking glide. Keep the conversations going, wear your heart on your sleeve, but don’t forget to lace up those practicality boots tight! Good luck, love warrior! 💕

[Anonymous]

Your mom is right. U need to study and secure a future for yourselves and your family. Leave the guy he seems controlling and manipulative

[Asker]

Which part that I tell exactly made you think he's controlling and manupilative

[jahaims]

Have you actually met this person?

[Asker]

We did many times

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one that asked you out

[Asker]

What do you mean, i didn't get it

[Opinion Owner]

I'm speaking of my lifelong hatred and resentment of men always having to be the ones to court women

[Asker]

There was nothing like that in our relationship. He made a move and I did too, all together. We didn't need to play games like that, love should be easy.

[Anonymous]

Your life, your choice, follow your gut feelings.

[Asker]

Thank you 😊

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome.