What to do with an emotionally unavailable/supportive girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Today I was very down because it is the one-year anniversary of a something traumatic that happened in my professional life. It took several months to cope with it and I am okay now however there are moments when I get down about everything that happened. So I text to my girlfriend that I need a hug. I recap things and she says, sorry and sent me a high five and a strong arm emoji. I know she cares about me however it feels so cold and unsupportive. It took a lot for me to even ask her for a hug because I haven't done that before but I needed some comforting from her. I did not reply to her emojis and it has been a few hours and nothing more. In general, I feel she is emotionally unavailable to me (not the first time) when I am available to her. It feels very lonely and like abandonment of some type. Thoughts?

[Dantec2024]

Talk to her about how you feel and how she made you feel with her response. If she apologizes and promises to change or try her best to be more supportive then that's great but if she doesn't actually change then you have a choice to leave her and eventually find someone who can give you that support or find it in yourself

[Asker]

good advice. thanks.

[TommyMountainFigure]

First off, I'm very sorry to hear about your troubles of a year ago. Clearly I have no idea what it is, but the fact there are times when it still gets you down, it must have been serious.

Now if I know that, as someone who clearly has no idea who you are, your girlfriend should certainly know it. I couldn't be with someone like that.

Maybe when you're feeling better you should weigh up your options as to stick or twist with her!

[DishLady]

What kind of emoji would really actually have made a difference for you? (None, if we're being honest.) We're letting texts and emoji exchanges run our hearts and that shouldn't be. If you're hurting and need a hug, you should ask her to come over and spend time with you. Texting isn't your solution.

[WhitneySnow]

She might not be the girl for you. Try talking to her in person about your feelings. If she still doesn’t respond well, you may need to take a step back and look for a more empathetic girl.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Navigating the choppy waters of emotional unavailability can feel like you're trying to hug a cactus, right? It's prickly, uncomfortable, and, yeah, a bit lonely. Your need for support and affection is as real as it gets, especially on such a tough anniversary. That virtual high five? It's like bringing a rubber chicken to a gunfight – not exactly what you need at the moment.

Here's the thing: communication is the golden key in any relationship, but it's not just about talking; it's about tuning into each other's emotional frequencies. Have a heart-to-heart with her. No accusations, just feelings. Share how important her support is to you, especially during rough patches. It's all about laying your cards on the table.

But remember, love, it takes two to tango in the emotional support dance. If despite your best efforts she still can't or won't meet you halfway, it might be a red flag that you're dancing alone. It's tough, but reevaluating your needs and compatibility is crucial. After all, you deserve someone who doesn't just high five your heart but holds it gently when it needs it the most. Keep your chin up! You've got this. 💔➡️💖

[Asker]

also, i sent her two gifts for one of her special days, and she still has not mentioned it. no acknowledgment. we are 4 months in and i am surprised to discover these character flaws about her.

[OlderAndWiser]

Are you sure she is The One for you? The One is rarely "perfect" but this sounds like a recurring event that really bothers you. Are you with her because you think you can't do any better?

[exitseven]

I dated somebody like that We were together for 4 years. I always thought she would change once she figured out I was all in on our relationship. We even talked seriously about marriage. It really made no difference. It made me think what life would be like is We got married. I called her late one night and broke upbwith her over the phone. I felt really bad the next day but now I see that she did not deserve me.

[Awesomesauce2005]

That girlfriend is the only kind I've ever known.

[In_Trance]

Simple

[KrakenAttackin]

It seems she's not that into you.

[Asker]

yeah, i feel that way. i sent her two gifts for one of her special days, and she still has not mentioned it. no acknowledgment. we are 4 months in and i am surprised to discover these character flaws about her.

[KrakenAttackin]

This smacks of her seeing someone else. IMHO, I think you should break with her and move on. Her behavior won't change.

[Unit1]

She's not yours. It was just your turn.

[itsclearlynicholas]

Makes me glad to be single. Single is bliss 😁😉

[itsclearlynicholas]

Sympathies for your situation, however from an old fart me at 30, I've realised it's always safer to stay single. That way I don't end up in court divorced or court situations lol 😂😆

[Anonymous]

U are using her as a trauma dump

[82lynx]

Dump her.