Dealing with an unemotional girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend has had a lot of lovers, and has been hurt many times in the past. I love her dearly, but her lack of emotion and romance is killing me! What should I do?

[Xquisit_Breakz]

If she has really been hurt in the past, especially recently, then her behavior is understandable. She's touched the stove and found it to be hot so many times that she's keeping a distance for her safety. Even if you are always there for her and show her unfailing love, it will be a long a slow process because probably she has had guys before who acted just as sweet and caring but turned out to be using her.

If you can't take things the way they are, then maybe you should consider this: telling her that you care about her more than anything, but you can see that she needs time to heal. You will be there for any little thing she needs but you think it would be best to slow things down and not commit to a serious relationship right now.

My current "girlfriend" has this problem. She was deeply hurt many, many times by guys, so she was wary of being in yet another relationship with me. But after we talked a lot and I was there for her through bad times, she saw how much I really care for her. Now she has opened up tremendously and she calls me a lot and has said how she likes me, and told me why, which is because I listen to her and am not only thinking about myself.

Good Luck.

-XquiSit_Breakz-

[squishybear]

I agree with this answer wholeheartedly. "Emotional baggage" is sometimes a completely justified reaction to past experience; as Xquisit says, it can take a long time to heal from several painful encounters. Coming from a woman who has had this experience, all I can offer is the reassurance that if you consistently demonstrate trustworthiness, she /will/ eventually open up to you. Promise.

[shes-a-lady]

"it will be a long a slow process because probably she has had guys before who acted just as sweet and caring but turned out to be using her." yes! +1

[MadHatterni]

turn her frown upside down, prove to her your not like any other guy, if she can'rt realize this then your relation will fail

[Reeses-pieces777]

maybe she should see either a therapist or counsellor, that way she can express her feelings.

I remember after I was abused in one of my relationships, I can not cry when I want to because I had already been through so much, suicide attempts and things like that. when I look back I am quite frightened but counselling/ therapy has helped me a lot. I recommend that. I wish her well and just be there for her.

[Anonymous]

take it slow and make sure you make it clear to her that you won't her and that it's ok for her to open up to you

[shes-a-lady]

she needs time. give here that. she'll open uo after a while

[armyant]

I don't think you deserve to have to pay for her emotional baggage, but since you love her I guess you can't just leave her. Love is a bitch sometimes.

[shes-a-lady]

Hate is a strong word but I really really don't like you ;P

[armyant]

Making other completely unrelated people jump through hoops because of bad experiences you've had helps no-one and quite frankly isn't fair to begin with.

[Anonymous]

break it off. why fight for damaged goods?