How to deal with an emotionally distant girlfriend?

[BossDJ]

My girlfriend is emotionally distant and it is messing with my head. I am a very affectionate person. In relationships I am a total romantic. This girl I've been dating for 4 months is So distant and doesn't respond to much of my affection. I know she cares about me cause she does open herself up verbally(and somewhat physically) we can talk for hours about everything. She told me she is distant and has always been so. She has never been in any good relationships before and has been in a very abusive(verbally) marriage. All her relationships besides her marriage was from her pushing the guy away. I guess the real problem is that I really care for this girl maybe more than I should and I should move on. I don't know why I really like her as much as I do maybe cause we do connect on a certain level really well and we are good friends. She is so cool I am conflicted on whether to wait for her or try and move on? It is hard for me to meet people that I can actually connect with on the level we do. I think she is worth the wait... but I don't know if its healthy for me to do so. Guys or girls, how have you dealt with an emotionally distant partner?

[HolyGuacamole]

emotionally distant people still care, they just have to be more conscious about it.

if you really like her, give her some time, if she's experienced abuse,

then she's going to need to be able to trust you.

the trust level varies, I've caught myself trusting people within a week,

other times it's taken up to a year, it just depends on the person & the connection.

i think she'll warm up, but being emotionally distant isn't really something you can "fix".

if she's not responding to your affection, she may not know how to respond,

if she's been in bad relationships, she's probably not use to all the complimenting

things you may be doing, that's something she'll have to adapt to.

[which also takes time].

a sincere connection is hard to find, I would give it time, it sounds like

something that you want to hang onto, she probably won't change,

but she will become more aware.

communicate with her, if something is troubling you, then discuss it.

she can't read your mind.

[armz14]

I am in a similar but different relationship. Been dating for four months, but she just admitted that she was unable to get past her emotional attachment to her previous boyfriend. She intellectually knew their relationship wouldn't work but emotionally and physically wanted it to work. Rather than dealing with this she suppressed her feelings for him and said yes to dating me for some reason. From the beginning she was distant. I can't tell you how much I like her and I am not sure why either, perhaps I am afraid of looking for someone else, perhaps I am afraid of missing out on someone I see as really special, or maybe I don't want to loss all the work I put into this thing. When I am with her I see all the potential but nothing in the present.