Is it normal for married people to find other people besides there partner attractive?

[Puppystarfish23]

I've been with my husband 5 years and married for 2 months. We are very happy together and have a very good relationship.

He's my best friend and the only person I feel I can be 100% myself with. We are very much in love with each other.

Put people seem shocked or surprised when I or my husband comment on someone else's appearance.

I'm married not blind, just because I find someone pleasing to look at doesn't mean I'm gonna cheat on my husband.

My husband is just the same and we are very open and joke about are work, celebrity crushes etc. We look but we don't touch.

We'll even people watch sometimes and we'll make a comment to each other like "wow she's got a nice pair" 🤣

Obviously I've never loved anyone else since my husband and I still think he's the most beautiful person in my life.

I'll say something to my friends like "he's fit" and my friends are like "Alice your a married woman" ffs I can say someone's good looking doesn't mean I'm gonna leave my husband for them.

[Lliam]

My wife and I share you and your husband's exact attitude, Puppystarfish.

Speaking for myself, I love beautiful things - landscapes, sunsets, lovely flowers, cute puppies, striking art, ... And beautiful women are no exception. They are fascinating when portrayed in paint or sculpture. And in real life, they are exquisite kinetic art. They bring joy to the world, like splashes of color in a gray cityscape or sunshine on a cloudy day. I can appreciate them without desiring them.

Sometimes my wife sees a particularly noticeable woman who maybe has a spectacular figure in a form-fitting outfit, or prominently displayed boobs. She smiles, knowing that I am admiring the view.

There have been times when walking near the beach together when a gorgeous woman in a tiny bikini roller skates/blades toward us on the sidewalk. We'll both watch her approach and then turn to watch her sashay away, then look at each other wide eyed thinking "Dang!"

One time, we were on a ferry in San Francisco Bay and a sailboat passe very close by. Two girls on the sailboat raised their bikini tops and flashed our boat.
My wife caught my arm and pointed so that I wouldn't miss it.

A while back, we stopped at a frozen yogurt shop near a lake. There were four young people ahead of us. They looked to be in their late teens or early 20s.
The girl ahead of us was wearing a beach top that only came down to the top of her ass. She must have been wearing a thong, because is looked like her plump, round ass was completely bare.
My wife and I looked at each other in wonder. Then I reached out and motioned like I was squeezing a handful of that smooth, scrumptious booty.
Nobody else saw me, but my wife and I laughed silently at the thought.

She knows that I think she's sexy. We love each other and are completely loyal.

When watching a movie, I might occasionally say "She's really cute" about an actress, meaning "She looks yummy."
My wife also knows that I have some favorite actresses. She'll jokingly say "Your girlfriend is in this movie."
There are some actors that she thinks are really hot. I tease her about them sometimes.

Also, I was always proud to be with my partners when other guy admired them.

So anyway, I think you guys have a healthy attitude. I'd say you are totally normal. I think distrust, jealousy and sexual inhibition are unhealthy. Why be with a partner who doesn't adore you and who you can't trust?

[Oliverlogan263]

I definitely think it's normal for married people to notice others and find them attractive. Just because you're married doesn't make you blind all of a sudden. As long as you and your husband have trust in each other and don't actually act on anything, then there's nothing wrong with looking or making little comments here and there. Married life would be pretty boring if you could never find anyone else appealing ever again!

It sounds like you and your hubby have a really healthy relationship where you can be open and honest with each other. Joking around together is actually a good sign that you're both comfortable. It would be weird if you never looked at all and stopped thinking anyone else was good looking at all. That's just not realistic.

Your friends are probably just surprised cause they're not used to married couples being so casual about it. But it works for you guys. As long as you still think he's the hottest of course! It's awesome that you both find each other so attractive too after all these years. That kinda love and commitment is goals.

I say keep doing your thing. Married life is what you make it. As long as you two trust each other, who cares what anyone else thinks is normal or acceptable. Do what works for your relationship. Don't let anyone shame you for still having eyes! You do you, girl. Ignore the haters haha

[EmmaMary]

Absolutely completely normal... After all we are all human beings and regardless of status (married or single etc) we have our own individual views and opinions etc... So, in my opinion seeing and commenting about someone's attractiveness is a completely normal reaction.

Please Note: Within our own marriage we do have a golden rule which goes "we can go window shopping, but definitely not allowed to enter and purchase"

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[Kelly6]

@puppystarfish23 Very normal

[AI Opinion]

Asking for advice is my game! 😉 It’s totally normal to find others attractive, even when you’re happily married. You're a human with eyes, after all! Being able to appreciate beauty while having an open and trusting relationship is healthy. Your sense of humor and candidness with your hubby is a sign of a strong bond. Your friends might just not get the level of comfort and trust you share. Keep rocking your marriage with all that flirty, fun energy! 🚀❤️

[Finchie40]

Yes it’s normal, just as long if they both don’t act on it and ruin their marriage

[lightbulb27]

I'd say yes, no, maybe immature.

If you haven't dated a nighmare personality yet then you just haven't lived enough to know how to look at those other people. Most humans are just awful filthy disgusting swine in personality and training that will destroy your life and make you wish you were jumping off a bridge. Lacking contrast you won't be able to look at the others properly to regulate your own lust... driven by your hormones.

Might I suggest borrowing two screaming babies for a day without any support? that should help...:)

If you only see superficially, then you aren't experiencing the pain of what that person can and will cause... so of course you get pleasure from their appearance. It's a human... do I need to list the potential flaws that could tear your soul apart and run you to divorce court?

in short, I learned to look at others with some other factors. Their images are designed to look good and painted to perfection, but the vast majority are not interesting. Even hollywood ones that look "fantastic"... I know it's BS and often I see the personality and they go from 10 to 1 fast. Have you seen your fav hollywood star throwing up cheating on you their divorce record and drug addiction issues? You should...

Use your brain... but that may be a challenge to temper given your peak hormonal state. Hormones... are driving the show right now and you aren't even at your peak yet. yikes!

Good luck!

[ɹǝʇʇɐɥpɐW]

Of course it's normal. You don't stop noticing someone is attractive just because you put a ring on your finger. I think people generally feel you shouldn't talk about it, though, to avoid jealousy or suspicion. But it sounds like your husband understands, so there's no problem. Personally, I would want a relationship like yours. One where we trust each other enough that we can talk about things like that while understanding that no one's going to cheat or anything. That's a healthy relationship, I think.

[NathanDavis]

to find them attractive because they are attractive, yes... that's absolutely normal

but to find themselves ATTRACTED TO others... that's a bit fishy right there... maybe they should not be entertained these attractions or temptations if their partner is NOT okay with it... lol

[DrPepper12]

Only self circumscribed and insecure people would say you can't look or comment. Frankly, I would be more concerned if you didn't or weren't looking! I said the exact same phrase, I married I'm not dead. Even my wonderful beautiful mother-in-law back me up on this the day of our wedding. She put her arms on my shoulders and look me straight in the eye and said "you can still look at the catalog but you just can't order". Some REALLY self loathing nut jobs would call you a cheater. I don't get it. I never will get it.

[DaBiggestBird]

You can ephemerally acknowledge someone else being handsome or whatever but if you have a husband or even boyfriend, then you should be able to easily kick their ass out of your head like a homeless person going in a 7-11. I imagine once one has discovered true love, they become numb to the idea of being with others and only think of their husband/wife when they hear anything romance related.

[jahaims]

You can recognize that someone is attractive without being attracted to them.

[LiamJHayden]

Normal to notice. If one starts dwelling upon the other, probles can start.

[mobiusforniner]

Here’s a secret for you. A good sign of trust and security in a marriage is when you both can look at another man or woman and be like “wow, they’re hot” and you both laugh about it.

[bowenw]

I think it's perfectly normal. Like you say, you are married, not blind.

[Slim57]

Yeah but constantly picking out others isn't healthy in my opinion, every now and then sure

[Twalli]

Of course, we both find other people physically attractive.

[slatyb]

Of course. They are married, not dead.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Yes it's normal the just don't act on it

[MasterKS]

yes human are polygamy.

[DerekC321]

It's human.