How do you ask your partner for more intimacy?

[CuteMommy]

Do you plan something before or go spontaneous?

[Finchie40]

When you have to ask , then something is wrong in that relationship that needs addressed as soon as possible , don’t always assume it’s you , it might be them that is struggling with something that they aren’t telling you. So You are best to have a sit down talk with your partner and try to get to the bottom of it so you both can work on it together. If whatever it is can’t be fixed? Then you are best to walk the other way and find yourself someone that wants you the same way you want them. Never be a sitting duck to a partner , that is no longer giving like they use to. If you and your partner use to have a lot of sex on the beginning and then all of a sudden it starts fading away , then there is a problem that needs addressed immediately. Why communication is important in a relationship and why honesty is important as well. Be honest with your partner and ask him why he is no longer in the mood like he used to to be before , Tell him you want the truth , not some bullshit excuse. If he loves you and cares about you , he will open up and tell you the truth , just be prepared to handle what he might say , Some people keep things secret because they don’t want to hurt their partners’ feelings , so they keep it to themselves. In your situation , there can be no more secrets. So have a talk with him without coming off rude , just say hey can we talk? I been feeling like you no longer want to be close to me anymore and you barely ever want to be intimate and affectionate with me anymore. So what’s going on? Because I am lost and confused here. If he gets mad and upset with you for asking those questions, then you are best to make your plans to walk the other way , if he loves and cares about you , he will open up to you and tell you the truth and try to fix what is broken. Because for a guy to not want sex with his girl is a huge red flag lol. I have a high sex drive , and I will not stay with a girl that doesn’t match my sexual wants and needs. I will immediately have a talk with her and find out what the deal is , if whatever it is can’t be fixed? I am walking the other way, Life is too short to be a sitting duck for someone that isn’t willing to to compromise with you. There are plenty of fish in the sea that want what you want.

[Potteplante]

Lol, because there HAS to be something wrong with the relationship, people could IMPOSSIBLY be tired of have other shit going in their lives. If they're not having sex then the relationship is obviously broken, no other reason or explanation could be there.

[Finchie40]

That’s why it’s important to communicate with your partner to find out what is going on , instead of just assuming you know the answer.

[Sevenpointfive]

you don't. you just do it like a nike athlete

[Crimsyjo]

When you say intimacy do you mean kisses and cuddles or sex or both?

Communication is always a good place to start. And picking the right time so you are not angry or frustrated or come across accusatory. Just a general "how are you feeling" "this is how I'm feeling" talk. That hopefully ends with understanding.

It's tricky because sometimes a cycle camn begin. With my ex I didn't feel ge was showing attraction to me and my efforts as much as he used to and I communicated it. But he just got defensive about it. And then it felt worse cos even if he said something nice it felt forced. Cos yeah really you shouldn't have to ask for certain things.

[CuteMommy]

I mean sex and kisses yes... I mean isn't it obvious for men if m wearing a silky robe with no bra , that I wanna have a good fuck? Why is it needed to be told explicitly

[Crimsyjo]

Haha oh yeah I know right. We sound so alike. And OK it's fine if a guy just ain't in the mood sometimes. But they gotta understand it feels like rejection so some kind words, explanation (tired, stressed) etc works well. Otherwise I don't know about you but like if I feel rejected my self esteem drops and then I stop feeling able to initiate sex and then I'm frustrated. Cos I want to be able to run to my man excited and jump on him or feel open and free to be sexy. But once that's gone - yh - the relationship is seriously threatened.

[CuteMommy]

Exactly... I am same @Crimsyjo, I definitely want to be open minded and say any fucking thing I want and have amazing wild sex... But if the desire or libido does not match... It suckssssss

[CuteMommy]

Also it's worst if the men want a blow job always but won't eat the pussy out? I mean should it not be a fair deal?

[Crimsyjo]

Oh my recent ex was like that. Caused an issue. I gave him BJ every day and he wd say how good he was at oral but never offered.. until I was mad. Then he did but then i wasn't in mood to enjoy it.

Urgh!

Thanks for the MHO

[CuteMommy]

Grhhh !! That's fucking bad... Definitely the guy should be goood at sucking and fucking!! That's good traits expected in men? What you think?

[Crimsyjo]

I've never seem the big deal of oral on myself. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm trying to get used to it. But I don't "get" it... I feel more pleasure with hard penetration.
I had wanted my boyfriend to help me figure out what is the big deal but instead that was his excuse for not doing it "cos u said its not your thing" ..
That was last year.
Luckily I got other guys to practise with now...
Tho I still find guys don't give it all that much?

[CuteMommy]

Weird... Guys should enjoy it especially pairing with hard fucking if the woman is all in for it... I mean I have met many of my friends who are so weak and fragile to agree for hard sex with their partner and its frustrating sometimes for other partner.

[CuteMommy]

I would want my partner to first fuck all my holes... Make me cum 4 to 5 times and then eat me out... I mean that's a fucking perfect session for me

[Potteplante]

If it's less than usual, I'd sit down with my partner and ask them what is going on and go from there.

If it's the same as always and I wanted more, it still sit them down with them and talk about the issue, figure out if we align in expectations towards sexual intimacy or no.

[AI Opinion]

As your go-to relationship coach here, let me sprinkle some wisdom on this. Imagine love as a beautifully choreographed dance. Whether you're a planner or a spontaneous soul, the key is communication. 😉 Share your feelings openly, perhaps during a cozy dinner or a calm walk. Express what you desire and why, focusing on connection rather than pressure. Keep things light and flirty, and remember, intimacy isn't just physical. Emotional closeness works wonders too!💕

[Nikki1989]

Once you have to ask for it, you have some serious issues to deal with.