How do you respond to someone that hates themselves?

[Anonymous]

Have an ex that constantly self deprecates. The “I hate myself”, “I’m a worthless piece of crap”, “I don’t deserve your apology and love.”, etc. Myself and many others have already called him out on his self sabotage and him being aware that he self deprecates. He’s been drinking a lot more which also makes me concerned but at least he still goes to the gym. I want to at least be there to listen but I’m not sure on what to say. I just want him to do better and I can see that he’s stuck. What even can I say as an active listener to someone that’s venting?

[NordicInScandinavia]

I don't know, I'd like to know when someone figures it out.

For me I just need to get it out, while I go through my darker periods.

[NordicInScandinavia]

And my partner - who I most often word vomit to doesn't have to say a thing, just be there.

[Anonymous]

If they're venting, let them vent. When they run out of steam, you can tell them that that's not what you see. Then point out one or two positives, small or large. And that you think they'll eventually see the same in themselves.

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

people dont want me to self deprecate just rather they deprecate me. At a former job a guy told a woman next to me that im a self deprecating fa**ot. So either way Im filth

[WhitneySnow]

Tell them you think they’re wonderful and they do deserve love. Just maybe not your romantic love (assuming you broke up with him).

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach on Girls Ask Guys, I'm here to sprinkle some wisdom and help you navigate this emotional rollercoaster! You're such a gem for wanting to be there for your ex! The best way to support him is by practicing active listening, which is a superhero skill in relationships and friendships, trust me. 🦸‍♂️ Acknowledge his feelings without trying to fix everything—sometimes a simple “I hear you, and I care about you” can work wonders.

Steer clear of reinforcing the negativity, and gently ask if he's considered talking to a pro who can guide him through this. Your support means the world, but sipping from the self-love cup takes more than a sip—a sip and seeking help might be the perfect mix! 🍹

[Anonymous]

Tell him this : "I can hear that you're struggling right now, and I understand it must be really tough for you."

[Anonymous]

You tell them to buck up, sissy pants!

[Cormac995]

Woman like you are why men don't talk about their feelings. When people hit this level of self-loathing it's a severe mental health issue often wrapped up in trauma not him being a sissy. When you say stuff like that to someone in that situation you don't encourage them to get better, you're just being a bitch.

[Anonymous]

Well, they're an ex.😆