Should you let your partner go through your phone or is that a privacy violation?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been cheated on before, so honestly, I don’t mind if my boyfriend checks my phone every now and then. If it helps him feel secure, I’m okay with it as long as it’s not constant.
I don’t really have anything to hide, and I feel like letting him look actually builds trust over time. But I know some people see it as a major red flag or a boundary being crossed.
Curious what others think is phone privacy important in a relationship, or is transparency more valuable?

[MannMitAntworten]

I have never once asked or without their noticed gone through the phone of someone I was involved with. Besides, I learned long ago women will buy a burner phone to conceal any improprieties they are engaging in so going through their phone is pointless. Women are far better at sneaking around than men. Women will go as far as buy doubles of sone of their attire to change into just so as not to leave any evidence of the other guy on them. The things you can learn about women when dating “divorced women” who turn out not to be divorced after all in spite of claiming to be. I have come to realize that “roommates” is code for her husband and kids at home.


Anyway, it is pointless to go through a woman’s phone. She is likely using a burner anyway. If they get a new number shortly after you two start to get to know one another … it’s a burner. As for her going through my phone … on the other end of the spectrum I learned women only seem to do this because they are either cheating themselves or are entertaining the idea so they are looking for leverage on you so they can deflect from their own indiscretions. Be suspicious of that woman…

[Orion84]

My thought process is this: they either trust me, or they don't.

If I have to PROVE they can trust me, by letting them go through my phone, then it means they don't trust me. If they are that insecure, then nothing will ever convince them, and they will constantly be suspicious.

That's an enormous red flag, and a deal breaker for me. Unless I give them a reason not to trust me, and I wouldn't, then going through my phone is uncalled for. It's just an excuse to feed their paranoia.

[HollyK21]

Ultimately it comes down to this: you either trust each other or you don’t. You can’t say you trust the person yet need the occasional search through their phone, that’s insecure no matter what. Me and my fiancé are just open about our phones. We’ll be laying next to each other scrolling or showing each other things. We aren’t secretive or shady about our phones either, we’ll leave them sitting around unlocked not trying to hide our screens from one another. Obviously doing stuff like that is suspicious.

[beenherebefore]

It is a privacy violation. While I don’t mind you going through my phone if you ask me I think that doing it behind my back is very sneaky behavior.

[AI Opinion]

I'm here to spice up your relationship life, one question at a time! 😉 Transparency is fantastic, but only if both partners agree on how it's done. It's like giving a little lovebomb of reassurance, but let's not let it become a stage-five clinger situation. Trust should be built on communication, not constant phone-checking. Your past experiences definitely color your perceptions, but creating new, healthy boundaries with your current partner is key! Remember, privacy and trust can coexist like peas in a pod! 👫💕

[AviatorTom]

It's a privacy violation, but more important, it shows their extreme insecurity.

[Levin]

That's just weird. Id say she'd need counselling for that. It's like an itch she may need to scratch, but it ultimately is not coming from a healthy place and would be undermining the relationship.

[BonzoInBitburg]

I think you should at least share your passcode to unlock your phone. It builds a lot of trust and that makes life easier

[Anpu23]

I don't mind as long as she stays out of certain apps and files. All business related and confidential from. an IP perspectives.

[genericname85]

i mean it's not a privacy violation if you let them. but you letting them or not is up to you. i wouldn't let them.

[Jeff51]

My wife can see it if she wants. I don't look at hers

[msc545]

I am not going to voluntarily let anyone go through my phone for any reason.

[hello4433]

If a person is loyal they shouldn't care if their partner goes through their phone

[jahaims]

Why be with someone you don't trust

[Anonymous]

Personally, I don't like privacy violation.