Is it a partner's job to push you out of your comfort zone for growth, or to provide a safe space where you never feel pressured to change?

[HawkPerception]

Push you out of your comfort zone for growth

Provide a safe space where you never feel pressured to change

[Noredcarpet]

I think if your ego is too big, too fragile, you don't want to change for the better, but if you do want a change, for you primarily, not your partner as that never works if you yourself is not driven, then you need balance in that too, you need some place you can rest in the meanwhile before you get out there again, battle/war zone. You need both from your partner, not just one or the other thing. The partner is no perfect picture either, but we generally do not recognize what is wrong with ourselves and can see it way easier when it concerns others, then all of a sudden we're experts, lol. Why we could be in a need of a third party, professional, to take us by the hand, as you and your partner can be intertwined with baggage from the past, old rules that worked then, triggers, or just plain misunderstanding coming to the wrong conclusion, but still creating a wound.

It takes so much for you to change and even if you want to change you may not know how to go there and your partner may not know that as well, but can only tell what is wrong.

I have heard that I am a challange, lol, but at the next breath as I thought I was going to be dumped big time, he said it was a positive thing (talking about my partner, lol). I think I have been hanging loose a couple of times, but there was still something about him that made me sure he was not leaving, he says he won't but I think that is credit to him, where he is inside, and maybe some credit to me too, but I don't know about that. When I do give critique to someone I isolate it from the rest and it is always something you can touch and feel, something real, that you can work on yourself, together. I know when someone else give critique it can be all over the place, vaque but sharp at the same time, no consideration how it must feel for the receiver, and what I have seen is the worst thing you can proberbly do to a partner, when you try to remove their dignity, or bring up stuff in a nasty way that you have been told, vulnerable. special moments. If you do it that way I am not surprised the receiver don't trust you no more, and you deserve loosing them. I think some give critique that way as they got a problem with themselves and they are so occupied with wanting to win instead of understanding this take team work and they are just making a bad situation way worse with how they act out on it.

[VioletHaze]

Both. I'm quite tied to my comfort zone, so I'd like a partner who provides a safe space for me to actually step outside it.

[HawkPerception]

But if you had to lean more to one?

[VioletHaze]

It's a very hard choice. But I guess I'll have to go with the safe space. If someone keeps pushing me, I'll retreat and might grow annoyed. Whereas providing a safe space, would never annoy me.

[HawkPerception]

For me, I'd choose the safe space by a long shot lol

[mysteriousNicholas]

For me, always to keep me safe spaced 🙃👼

[DishLady]

Definitely both, BUT:


(1) Not to be their doormat and sacrifice your thoughts and needs for theirs and


(2) Not to push them to a point of fear that you’ll take them too far. Aim for 10% past comfort zone and no more. Be respectful of their “NO.”

[Zionne]

Its not someone's role to push yourself to become better. You have to be your own self's biggest encourager, other people who supports you are just a bonus. If you want to know you to become better within yourself and at the same know how to pick the right partner, you may want check out a dating coach for men that can help you in this matter.

[exitseven]

It is neither. A partner should support you if you choose to take on a new task.

[AnonLife]

If you want someone else then just choose the other person instead