Which one of these statements from your SO would set you off THE MOST?

Question

DishLady · Accepted Answer

They're all pretty bad, but the get over it one (when I know he would never get over it) is the most annoying one bc it is overly reductive and invalidates your feelings and effort, your value... makes you small. What's important to you is being DISMISSED as insigificant... so then wtf are you doing in that relationship? Doing or not doing "everything" just means they're feeling overwhelmed. It's not necessarily a reflection on you but a call for help and support. Comparing will happen whether you HEAR IT or not. We can't help it. We cherry pick what we like (and often miss) about the prior person, HOWEVER we are here with YOU, so don't be a lugnut... just mention directly if it bothers you.  "Nagging" is the guy's way of telling you that the way you're bugging him is no longer cute or sassy... it's annoying. Step back... actually take a week and step way back. Let him see how well he does without your "nagging." (by the way, nagging could be about something important like his mother's surprise party... he is just saying he needs space, but the way it comes out is with the rude terminology... the nagging.) I've never heard anyone say they conferenced their family who decided without you... THAT is weird. Dump that person and move on to a healthy person.  Threats and ultimatums are also a red flag. You're supposed to be PARTNERS. Decisions are made together and trust builds with every interaction. This would tear trust down completely.   Hmm. Very OG... sometimes if it's said as a joke i laugh it off and let pass. But if the person's being serious it's also a red flag not to stick around.

smashleyy · Accepted Answer

Ouu a very good question. Each option had my eye twitching but I think “either you do what I suggest or” would have my foot meeting his balls

sawno · Accepted Answer

Either you do what I suggest, or...
Blackmailing me with ultimatums is a very bad idea in a fight. Genuinely Russian roulette when someone does that to me. 50/50 chance I blow up the relationship because if you happen to do it the one time on something I really don't want to do its over. I find it extremely toxic when the goal isn't to seek a mutual resolution that works for both of us, and if I have to pick between something else I want or the person trying to blackmail me into not doing something me finding that behavior toxic can be enough to push me over the edge towards the other thing.

Reasoning with me is a way, way, way better tactic and in my last relationship thankfully it was the tactic she always went with. We'd always find something that worked moving forward and when you approach me with reason it won't turn into a fight, a disagreement at most.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

I think if you use any of those you have been holding it in way to long or putting up with something way to long.  Each of of those are like the breaking point the last result.   I think it's easier to deal with something when it first happens. So you can use a decent tone
Use it has any question instead of an answer or a judgment.   And you haven't had enough communication or any communication about any of it , and you just have had enough , so you start barking words. And the negative way , and that's just doesn't help anything

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Being a relationship coach, I know words can be like lovebombs or red flags. If your significant other said stuff like "You're just like your mother/father," it might set off fireworks! 🎇 Comments that poke those sensitive spots can lead to communication breakdowns or even ghosting. Remember, playful banter is different from remarks that hit home! Balancing humor and sensitivity is the sweet spot for healthy relationships. 😏💬

Summeroflove · Answer

The ex thing is a death sentence. The rest of them are pretty bad… But once you’re comparing someone to someone else. It shows deep resentment and that you’re thinking of other people.

AviatorTom · Answer

Trying to control me would be the worst. We're a partnership, not a dictatorship.

RandomGirl42 · Answer

Lol! They're all pretty horrible but the only one my sweetie ever comes close to saying is "You're overreacting" which may be true but it's not what I want to hear when I'm overreacting. Nothing makes me more upset than someone telling me not to be upset when I'm already upset. It's upsetting.

UrLoveMocha · Answer

The over exaggerating one is what got under my skin the most. It didn’t matter what I went through, to this day, my ex will say I’m over exaggerating. When I lost one of my friends to suicide, he said “well you shouldn’t be taking it like that, their family should be reacting this way…. Not you….” It always stuck with me.. That’s when I noticed he downplayed and invalidated me during the entire relationship.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Why would I ever engage with a person spouting such ridiculous BS in the first place. I'm just gonna leave without saying a single word. I'll come back in a few hours or days when she's cooled down and is ready to talk about things like an adult. Instead of acting like an emotional child.

ManOnFire · Answer

4 and 7 would piss me off the most, but I voted for 4 after a tough thought. Bringing external people into your couple's disagreement and then using them to go against your partner or validate your bad actions is just sickening.

queenofcardio · Answer

Informing friends/family is the worst to me. It's easier to manage a relationship issue without other people's involvement excluding professionals.

aceleon · Answer

2nd before there are no exes with me unless she is bisexual and her ex is a girl. 5th because are you threatening me you insolent little... 6th oh sexism when it works for you huh?

OneViewpoint · Answer

All of it is loaded with red flags and signals of frustration, immaturity lurking just under the surface. Run for the exit.

Litza · Answer

Literally, all of them are infuriating. I'd pick the whole list, if I could.

MemeSupreme · Answer

all of these might end the relationship lol the 2nd one would make me wanna stab him

Nikki1989 · Answer

I have never heard of my husband say any of those.

RavVid · Answer

It would either "My ex..." or " I called xxx"

Anonymous · Answer

Probably the telling family or friend about it. The rest are annoying but it's still between us at least.

WonderingManII · Answer

I called my mom/friend/sibling about our problem, and we discussed it, and we agreed you're wrong, so you should...

Drumlin2001 · Answer

I wouldn't want to say any of those, all pretty toxic

LiamJHayden · Answer

All after the first one are probably insta-dump for me.

Anonymous · Answer

I've never been in a relationship, so I can't really imagine any of those statements as "setting me off".

dragoblack · Answer

Most of these are insecurities, toxic behavior, and lack of communication

4ngelic · Answer

the ex thing would be the worst for me

lilBigPotato · Answer

Tough choice. Probably family/friends one.

NathanDavis · Answer

"nevermind... "

Raydergman26 · Answer

See a therapist to help

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Every one.

Which one of these statements from your SO would set you off THE MOST?

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Which one of these statements from your SO would set you off THE MOST?

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Which of the following would most likely incite and anger you?

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