How do you know if someone is just infatuated with you or really into you?

[Finchie40]

Infatuation is usually what happens in the beginning of every relationship when you meet someone new , they compliment you , they speak highly over you , they make you their top priority etc.. but eventually that infatuation can disappear or continue , When do you know it’s actually legit?

[RubyRed12343]

It’s really hard to know if someone is “legit” before you’ve spent time with them and started a relationship. Even then, you don’t fully know how they think or if they’re serious. The bigger problem is that most people aren’t really aware of their own feelings. They might like you and think they’re “legit” into you, but after a while, they change their mind. Personally, I think that’s selfish, because don’t start something you can’t finish.

Anyway, some important things to consider are respect, interest, and dedication. People might genuinely like you but either don't respect you, or not care about your personal interests, or they are just undedicated. Still, having these qualities between you and them is a good way to tell if they’re truly interested in you on a deeper level.

Going back to your question, I don't think you really know, I guess leave it up to fate lol

[Finchie40]

Yea that's why I no longer rush into a relationship with a girl i just met or that I recently just started dating, I will be loyal to her and continue dating her , but i will not make us official until i know she is really in it for the long haul , most people say they want long term relationships , but when push comes to shove they don't , they just want a long term relationship on their terms , They will answer yes to all your questions because they are just infatuated with you but it takes more than just words to win me over, actions are important to me as well. I just started dating a younger girl in her early 30's and so far her and I have an amazing connection but part of me feels like it"s too good to be true , considering i been down this road plenty of times before. So one thing i do when i meet a new girl I am interested in , is lay everything about myself on the table to let her decide if I am worth her time or not and make it clear to her that I am not into games and drama , what you see is what you get , don't try to change me , don't try to rain on my parade and do not bring misery and negativity into my life , becasue i am perfectly fine being alone. I am not here to blind side you whatsover , i am want an honest relationship with someone, not a bullshit one

[sage2021]

I think that you'll never really know until something happens and then you'll find out.
Some people are infatuated with the ideal of what you could become but it's all in their minds. They think that you could one day be someone they thought you could be - but when you don't become what they imagined in their minds, then they change. Presto changeO!
So yes, they'll agree to all the things that you tell them in the beginning, the things that you mentioned in your question, but that couldn't possibly be love!! But I'm sure it makes you feel better when you lay out all of your ground rules and she says "yes, yes, yes." Then slowly things change. Not love!
And all of your ground rules have nothing to do with real love either. It's just you giving them instructions on how to be with you.
Perhaps your wife has made you forget what real love feels like. Just the fact that you even asked this question makes me wonder 🤔 if you even know what real love feels like.

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂

[Anonymous]

It's been my experience that she genuinely wants to be around you. But BEWARE, women predators know how to fake that. You have to call into service all of the experience you've gleaned with women throughout life. Even still TIME is your greatest ally. She can be the Mona-f'ing-Lisa of tricksters, she WILL slip up at some point if your paying close attention. And when you see that string, pull on it. Her entire charade will unravel. 👍💯

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

How?
By using our well sharpened psychosocial skills to pierce through the myth deployed, ours and theirs.

When?
After some months because by then there had been plenty of opportunities to take a step back and think, more fairly, about what's going on.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you decode love, lust, and all the messy things in between 😈

Infatuation is intense, fast, and fantasy-based. Love is consistent, calm, and reality-based. You know it’s legit when the energy doesn’t die after the honeymoon phase, they handle conflict without ghosting, they respect your boundaries, show up on bad days, and their actions match their words long-term.

If they still choose you once the butterflies calm down, that’s not infatuation, that’s emotional depth, babe 💕

[jazzy34]

From my personal experience, you're infatuated when you're only focused on the other person's physical appearance. You'll usually obsess over how "hot" or "sexy" they are. If possible, you want to sleep them or fantasize about sleeping with them. In short, infatuation usually involves a sexual element and nothing more. Very superficial and surface level. You don't really care about getting to know them as a person. That's why infatuation is usually short lived, lasting any where from a few weeks to a few months. When you're genuinely interested in someone, however, you want to get to know them as a person. The physical attraction is there, of course, but it's not the most important thing. You want to know their likes, dislikes, their interests, their hobbies, etc. You typically want to be in a romantic relationship with that person long term. Again, these examples are from my personal experiences.

[MontBlanc]

Infatuation is intense but shallow. Real interest is steady.

Infatuation shows up fast , lots of attention, big words, big feelings, but it can fade just as quickly. It’s about how you make them feel.

Real interest grows slower. They stay consistent, they care about your life, they show up even when things are boring or inconvenient. It’s about who you are, not just the excitement.

Time usually tells the truth.
Infatuation burns hot, real interest lasts.

[Noredcarpet]

I suppose you can't, if you are suppose to tell by some signs I don't know what they are. Time will tell?

[bobalife]

I’m with @MontBlanc and @qwerty2469, it’s about genuine interest of who you are and your life, building a connection, and consistency to show someone is really into you. Infatuation is more of the early stage of excitement and idealism.

[MrChinaski]

Rita Hayworth: 'they go to bed with Gilda -- they wake up with me.' (ref. Notting Hill).

Infatuation passes quickly. Weeks at most. In my experience. Best just to ride the wave and see whether you like where you wash ashore.

[NathanDavis]

easy...

either they know me, or they don't

[qwerty2469]

If they listen to everything you say, so they can tell you everything you want to hear, that are infatuated. If they hear everything you say and converse with you, I think you know what that means.

[Sal_Monella]

Aren't they the same thing?

[AgentG111]

They act like an adult or a stalker!