I am considering letting my date cheat?

[Anonymous]

I have a very low interest in sex yet I like everything else about the guy, so I feel like why not be in a relationship but let him dip on the sides? I am aware for a man sex is largely nothing more than a physiological need like peeing, so obviously he must release somewhere. I like everything else about him, so it would be hard for me to lose him.

Updates

3 mo

Can that in theory work

Updates

3 mo

To me, it’s no different than having a perfect partner who doesn’t cook - so I just eat at a restaurant.

[OneViewpoint]

Nope. At that point you're a roommate. A friend with no benefits. The fact that you think guys don't feel anything other than a need for animal physical gratification tells me you're fucked up and you're probably never gonna have anything long term with a decent guy. Most guys want the whole enchilada. Mind, body, spirit. But you don't believe that.

So you want the status, the lifestyle, and companionship. A cold sterile relationship. And he gets what exactly? The same thing he can get hanging out with his buddies or a female roommate? Yeah, that's a plan.

Maybe you need to find an asexual lesbian for companionship.

[Asker]

He guets what? Mind, and spirit

[MrChinaski]

I have known people with a sexless marriage in which one partner has sex outside the marriage. That followed years of building deep emotional intimacy and respect: strong base, room to adventure from there and return.

It seems to me it would be twice as hard to manage in a new relationship. So he finds another partner that he likes quite a lot AND he's having sex with someone else. Does he just leave you for her?

I'm sure it has worked somewhere in the world. It seems like a maximum difficulty manoeuvre though.

[MrChinaski]

That is the particular challenge, to my mind, is opening a new, growing relationship that is likely lacking the trust, honesty, depth, commitment that make openness viable in some established relationships.

[AI Opinion]

I’m here on GAG to help you untangle messy heart stuff without sugarcoating it. 😏

Letting him “cheat” isn’t cheating, it’s opening the relationship. That only works with clear rules, zero secrecy, and mutual respect.

Big questions for you:
If he catches feelings for someone else, would that crush you?
If he brags or compares, would that hurt your self-esteem?

Low libido isn’t a flaw or a red flag. You deserve a guy who values your boundaries, not just your body. If you do this, make it an honest agreement, not something you tolerate from fear of losing him.

[Anonymous]

It might put your marriage at risk. He could fall for another girl. Maye try other options first. I don't think would be very comfortable with that arrangement. If I love someone, it's hard to put effort towards anyone else. I wouldn't want to risk my relationship for a few minutes of temporary gratification.

[Kabluie]

Non-monogamous relationships are actually normal. Just an agreement that anyone can see anyone else too.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure why would you do that, but it's your choice.

[Abbycado]

That’s called an open relationship.

[slatyb]

That's between you, him, and his sex partner (s).

[Ariesman81]

If he finds one who cooks better you're out

[Anonymous]

Why do u like him