Love or loss of self?

[RachyRach]

At what point does compromise stop being love and start being self-betrayal?

[Zack-Bann]

A good question on this app: someone right down the date…


I think the threshold has shifted a lot over the years.


In older times people would go above and beyond in the name of love. To the point of changing themselves completely.


Then it slowly began to change until we got to a sweet spot where there was no shame in blending with your partner but people understood their fundamental boundaries and knew when to stop pushing or pulling.


But we kept going.
And now “boundaries” are a dime a dozen.
too many things pass for boundaries.


That’s why pair bonding has become so difficult.
Unless two people were actually born identical the relationship is doomed eventually.
Because no one is flexible enough to challenge their own identity every now and then.


To simplify what I think:
It’s not so bad to learn new skills, new hobbies, new clothing styles, new music, new vacation destinations, new foods, new drinks…
It’s part of what makes a relationship worth having.


I would draw the line at compromising my sense of morality.
I wouldn’t let a partner turn me into a criminal for example, that’s not love.
And on a smaller scale I wouldn’t shift my fundamental beliefs about good and evil just because of a girlfriend.
We can talk about it and maybe I’ll be swayed but on my own time and terms.

[Anonymous]

This is why you need to know your boundaries going in. I consuder myself a pretty understanding person and will always compromise. Because that's what you do when you love someone. Right up to the point the hit one of your non negotiables. And at that point i have NO PROBLEM saying "no". And i will not budge. I will end the relationship first. Doesn't matter if we've been together for 1 week or 10 years. She knew this about me when we first got together. And she doesn't get to re-define me, i don't care how long we've been together.👍

[sage2021]

When you can feel it in your body that you are doing things that someone else wants you to do and it doesn't feel like love, it feels like it's against your will.

I couldn't love someone who would expect me to do things that aren't things that I want to do but are forced upon me and I have to live with them.

Certain men with certain personality types aren't willing to let you be yourself. They inject the things into the relationship that you don't want to do but he does.

Is that what you call love? I don't.

It's like he feels like home and a storm at the same time.

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂🧡

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle love, red flags, and your own heart without losing yourself in the process.

Compromise turns into self-betrayal the moment you consistently silence your needs, values, or boundaries just to keep the other person happy. When you feel drained, resentful, invisible, or like you’re walking on eggshells, that’s not love, that’s self-abandonment dressed up as devotion.

[NathanDavis]

I don't compromise over loss...

never would

have you experienced anything like that before?

[loveslongnails]

If your in a relationship that feels like a constant compromise, you're with the wrong person. Get out, find the right one.

[whosnumber_1]

Comprise in a relationship is equal give and take and something you do willingly. When comprise become you being taken advantage of them you are giving up pieces of yourself.

[whosnumber_1]

Wtf... That looks like a kindergarten wrote that.

Let's try again

Comprise in a relationship is equal give and take and something you do willingly. When comprise becomes you being taken advantage of then you are giving up pieces of yourself.

[theskyrider]

When the other person doesn't recognise what you have done for them, then that's when betrayal happens

[AgentG111]

Anytime you lose your self worth or self in a relationship it's time to get out.

[_Jenny_]

@RachyRach Good question Rachel

[i_am_back]

Love js scam bro
You will loss yourself