Have you experienced the "I love you, but im not in love with you" thing?

Question

I still have feelings for my ex and am happy for him and we still have happy moments together that would make me confused if I wasn't already sure that he's not the one. It feels like im his stand-in girlfriend, but im fine being there because I don't see anyone else that has caught my eye yet.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Yes it means I moved on and i don't want to hurt you. I know you still love me but I can't love you the way you want me to

And if you were honest with yourself you know this

And down deep you crave a touch the intense passion I would say you have even experienced on line or through fantasy

And if you have then you know your just holding yourself back wishing on something you know down deep will never happen

But for some reason your not ready for a real relationship yet

I dont think its because your afraid of being hurt again

I think it more like your finding yourself in all different kinds of ways
And you know how much time and energy it takes to be in a relationship and your not ready for that yet

You are for once working on you
Even tho you miss the type of affection and touch that you are wanting and needing so you hang on because it's just easy that way within instead of somebody new

Because we all need that to feel like we are alive I think if you could get into something like that without commitment would really help and change you in a lot of different ways that you probably shy and you don't want to be labeled and you don't want somebody to take it even further than it needs to go until you're ready and that person's hard to find

Because if you did it would end up being turned around to where you would say I love you but I'm not in love with you because you love what you get from it there's nothing wrong with that it's another stepping stone to be coming Who You Are

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

I have before with one of my exes in the past , and my advice to you , is to move on and find someone else that wants you the same way you want them , holding onto someone that doesn’t love you the same , is a waste of your time , because you are investing your time into someone that only likes the convenience of you , but they truly don’t value you and appreciate you. , you are just something to do basically , while they keep their options opened. So you are best to move on from them and focus on yourself and realize your value and realize you deserve someone that makes you their top priority , and not be a convenience to anyone. By holding onto an ex , is pretty much eliminating you from receiving the love you deserve. If you want to meet a guy that wants you completely you are best to exempt your ex out of your life

Theoretical_Apulu · Accepted Answer

Yup, like the person I crushed on. I like him, he's a good guy a good friend but I don't see us compatible or our future working out together so I confessed him that I like him but also mentioned that I'm not acting on these thoughts and it's nothing he should even bother caring about. And the confession helped me move on and we are still good friends so win win case.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

I feel that’s bs, but some people do like to make the distinction. It’s really pulling threads.

I have the “I love you but don’t fuck with me bc I’m not afraid to be on my own” mode. Has worked very well for me though folks aren’t crazy about the title….

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim on GAG is to decode messy feelings like this and make them make sense, you gorgeous overthinker 💋

Yeah, that “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” vibe is real, and you’re living the stand-in girlfriend version of it. Comfort, history, chemistry… but no real future.

Big red flag: you’re emotionally available, he’s emotionally checked out. Staying because “no one else has caught your eye yet” quietly blocks real love from even getting a chance.

You’re not a placeholder, you’re the main event. Don’t let him keep you in the “almost” zone just because it feels cozy.

SeekerOfTruth007 · Answer

The problem here is that most people call it "love" when it is in fact "lust".

Love is the quality of placing another person's life and well-being above your own.

Lust is the quality of desiring someone else's body (or stuff too) for your own self-interest. That's what "Dating" really is. The guy walks up to a stranger (approach) and introduces himself because he has LUST. He doesn't know you from Moses, so it cannot be "love".

exitseven · Answer

I had a female friend that was really my best friend for a few years. We did a lot if rhings together and we could tell each other everything. I went to a wedding as her plus one and it really was nice to have a date for events. One night we went to a MLB game and afterwards she told me that she had feelings for me. It would have been easy to take advantage of her but I told her that I loved her but not the way I was supposed to.

Anonymous · Answer

don't waste your time energy and effort on someone who you know you won't marry. My advice is... date someone who is most similar to yourself. Otherwise, the relationship WILL NOT work. I know because I have dated someone who was the opposite of me in many ways.

Kassandra1994 · Answer

If he is a racist maga it means you should not have no relationship with him what so ever. Geez Im decided to shunned family he voted maga they're all toxic negative individual along with their negative energy.

OneViewpoint · Answer

No but I can see where that can happen. You may respect the person. You may like the person. You may love them as a friend. But you may not have any romantic feelings for them. You may be able to make that work. I think it's a waste of time.

MissSunshine2 · Answer

Yes, I have. It waas for my first boyfriend. Family love, not romantic love. He was great but that didn't last long.

lightbulb27 · Answer

not ready, not there emotionally. so it's a waste of time. when you close that door other doors will open.

Dargil · Answer

It means  I want you to stay around  but you aren't The One.  Time to go, unless you want to stay around for sex until she replaces you.

gasman70 · Answer

yes and I'm in it right now with my wife, I've experienced this my entire life with women. Women have told me that it's my size, because they think that I'm an unbelievably amazing person.

236color · Answer

No-one has ever said that to me, but they have acted as if that was the case.

Anonymous · Answer

I think everybody has.

I may love her but because i love her and am not IN LOVE with her i keep my separation. She deserves a guy who will give to her completely. And if i can't honestly do that i'm not getting involved.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Nope. I either love hard or not at all.

browsingthroughthe · Answer

No 👎🏻 but maybe that's what some folks do or think l.

msc545 · Answer

Sure, that's code for "I don't care about you. Please go away," which is exactly the correct response to this kind of communication.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Yes, I've had that loads of times. More often than not!!

Anonymous · Answer

It’s you again. Need to know about your sex life with him. It’s important configuring out how he feels about you (and vice versa).

Smileygirl2000 · Answer

Get some self respect and walk away. He's told you he's not in love with you move on

Staximus · Answer

It’s time for you to move on with your life already

RepleteAura · Answer

I was this person who said this to someone and I regret it, but my head wasn't in a good place unfortunately :(

Anonymous · Answer

yes, my past relationship was like that  very painful.

Anonymous · Answer

You don’t love him either. You just passing time till someone else catches your eye.

queenofcardio · Answer

Yes , at the end of the relationship

jahaims · Answer

This only happens to emotionally unhealthy people

Anonymous · Answer

It's a cop out.. Love is a choice..

Scorpio191874 · Answer

Yes but I gave the speech.

paytime1 · Answer

He doesn't wanna fuck you

Agape93 · Answer

Absolutely

MrChinaski · Answer

Move on.

loveyouoak · Answer

No never.

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes twice 🥲

Extraterrestrial1999 · Answer

Nope!!

Have you experienced the "I love you, but im not in love with you" thing?

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