Why would a man keep contacting his married ex after being blocked?

[Anonymous]

I accidentally caught my brother making another attempt to contact his ex girlfriend from 7 years ago. That woman is now 40 years old and has two kids by now; both young children.

My brother wasted her time back then, never had intention of marrying her and she left him. She found better. Someone else gave her the life she wanted. He contacted her twice and got blocked immediately. I caught him contacting her again and he got blocked. It's clear that woman wants nothing to do with him. If she had continued staying with him, she would've lost her chance of ever being a mother.

They broke up on bad terms. She never wanted to ever speak to him again for misleading her for too long. He wasted her 20's and was starting to waste her early 30's too. But honestly I think he's going to get in trouble if he continues trying to contact her. Why would a man do that?

[HollyK21]

Regret, desperation, wishing he could change the past. I’m not sure how you accidentally caught your brother doing this, but I’d honestly just forget about it. Simply put — he fcked up and now he has to live with it. Hopefully he’s grown as a person and wouldn’t do that to another woman again. If he would do it again then he hasn’t learned anything.

[Asker]

Could be. What he did, any woman would've reacted like that to getting her time wasted for years and no commitment. He should've given her the life she wanted if he still misses her. He's been in several short-lived relationships since the break-up.

[HollyK21]

He’ll never find a long term relationship if he keeps looking for her in every woman. He’s got to let go of the past, and move on. Again, I’m not sure how you accidentally discovered this, but if there’s a subtle or even direct way of suggesting therapy, then you should consider that. I know it sounds cliche but too often men don’t do the work to heal their wounds because they consider it a womanly thing when it’s absolutely not, and I’m glad more men are embracing that step. Sometimes they need the push though, and it sounds like your brother could really use it if he can’t accept how far she’s moved on, and what boundaries he’s crossing in efforts to get her back. That door is shut, and he needs help understanding it.

[DryGermanGuy]

He sounds like someone who generally has problems navigating in the adult world.

[WhitneySnow]

I don’t blame her. He probably had regrets, but she’s not interested.

[WhitneySnow]

Has regrets

[Asker]

For his own good, I hope he moves on already. She already has a new life and he's stuck in the past.

[WhitneySnow]

Agreed

[Anonymous]

Maybe she gave him a reason to think she was interested, or he misinterpreted something?

[Asker]

He really thinks he can come back as a friend one day. Nope. If he gets blocked right away without any words, that woman isn't interested at all.

[Nikki1989]

An inability to accept closure.

[Asker]

Yeah and he has to accept it by now. That woman from is past is gone.