Is he getting tired of me, or is his criticism hurting my confidence?

[Starwisper23]

I keep getting comments from him saying that his friends think im weird and sometimes when I dress nice and think I look good I ask him do I look nice and he says I don't know you wear the same stuff over and over and he also makes fun of the way I wave at people so I sorta shut down

[AI Opinion]

I’m here on GAG to help you spot red flags and protect your heart, gorgeous.

This is not “honesty,” it’s low-key emotional abuse and negging. Constant criticism, mocking, and using “my friends think…” is classic confidence-destroying behavior. You’re shutting down because he’s making you feel unsafe, not loved.

You’re not “too sensitive.” He’s too disrespectful. Huge red flag. You deserve someone who hypes you up, not tears you down.

[HollyK21]

To be direct: yes, his criticism is absolutely tearing down your confidence, and the fact that you’re isolated 3 states away makes the situation pretty serious in my opinion. It sounds like he treated you perfect to get you back, but now that you’re far from home, he’s using mean comments about dumb things like how you wave or dress, along with emotional abuse, to make you feel small and dependent on him. It makes sense that you’re shutting down, any woman would.

My advice is, don't waste any more energy trying to fix his attitude. Focus entirely on yourself. If you haven’t already, call home, tell your family & old friends exactly what’s going on. You need your people to remind you of your worth right now. Try meeting people separate from him through work or even local groups (there are friendship apps, even the neighborhood app, I’ve seen ads specifically for that) to get out of his negative BS bubble. From there, I’d say to secretly make a backup plan. Look at your finances and see who back home could help you relocate if you decide to leave and go back. Just knowing you can exit gives you power back, and some reassurance.

You made this sacrifice for a relationship that in my opinion should be safe, healthy, happy, not an emotional trap. You’re not stuck there forever, but he will sure think he can keep mistreating you when he has the impression you’ll never leave and tolerate whatever he throws at you. You should be celebrated, not tolerated.

[Interstate]

DUMP HIM AND MOVE ON! If all he can do is give you message you with comments his friends are making, it is obvious you don't mean that much to him. Let him go and move on with life. It is obvious he is putting his buddies' opinions over your feelings. You don't need that.

[slatyb]

Sounds like it's both. He wants to break up with you but he doesn't want the drama so he's driving you away, consciously or unconsciously. Save him the trouble and break up with him so you can meet someone who likes you.

[Starwisper23]

He broke up with me one time last year and came back and everything was good so I moved with him 3 states away and this is the way he's been acting. I dont have any support system here

[Abbycado]

Two questions we can’t answer. He can and you can.

[bowenw]

It sounds like he is mean and insensitive. Not the kind of person to be in a serious relationship with.