Guys, when you are busy, stressed, or feel low about your work/job/school, do you want time alone?

[Anonymous]

Guys, when you are busy, stressed, or feel low about your work/job/school, do you want time alone OR do you want to spend time with a girl you love?

I've been dating a guy for 2 months and when something work related comes up, he would distance himself from me. I don't know if he's loosing interest or stressed out.

Let's just say I know for sure he's not out partying or hanging out with friends.

What do you think?

He needs time alone when he's feeling low.

He is loosing interest in you.

See answer

[Fitzroy]

This is a really common guy-girl problem, my friends and family talk about it a lot and before the internet - really! It wasn't that long ago ! :D This was a very common Talk Show topic. I'll bet it still is on the few which are left.

Don't worry.

I am someone who thrives on what I always have called 'interior time'.

Others imply it is antisocial behavior.

Strangers imply it is antisocial behavior equivocal to uncaring malice or intended rudeness.

Unfortunately, most but NOT all males are encouraged to hold in their painful emotions and to hide frustration,anxiety,sadness or helplessness as signs of weakness.

I think it's one of the things we need to changes about how we raise boys because it causes a lot of misunderstanding and deeper hurt, no matter who we are.

I am very introverted and people always think I am mad at them or that I wan to eb left alone and meanwhile I am stressed out and they don;t know and they can push my buttons without meaning to because they don;t know that my nerves are shot.

The males I know who talk out their problems are very pragmatic and get things done. Talking about worrisome things is brave and powerful- it is working at a difficult solution.



Passing blame,pretending all-powerfulness,dismissing worth while opinions or ignoring causes and effects should not be taught as signs of strength.

Just give him a kiss and cuddle and walk away. Maybe add "Talk to me when you want to, I'll listen." and mean it.

[Anonymous]

Your guy needs time for himself, that has happened to me several times with my boyfriend, he's not the type that likes sharing his emotuons much, specially when he's down or something bad happened, I used to get upset because I thought he didn't trust me or he was just loosing interest, but I realized it wasn't me, it was just that he needed some time alone so I started giving him the space he needed, sometimes we just want to help as much as we can but maybe that's not what they need in that moment, and maybe we are just stressing them more by trying to make them talk or making them spend time with us, I've just learnt that if I give him his space when that happens he would eventually come to me and share what happened and then I'll be able to help him if he needs help, you just need to be there for him but give him space, make him know you are there for him and that you care and I'm sure he would be grateful for that, so the next time he is like that just give him space and he would eventually come around and probably share his heart with you, don't get impatient because that could only make it worse, sometimes we just need to sacrifice ourselves a little for their sakes, leaving our feelings aside for a moment, our judging aside, our worries aside, and just be thoughtful and loving, I just hope this helped sweety and good luck! :)

[NoOneListens21]

He needs time to himself. If we are not going out or w.e. then I try to respect that but if we are not then it's different because he would know that I'd be there for him to talk to or to release stress. I do not want him to keep things from mi so I encourage talking it out and if he doesn't not want to then he will talk about it later when he's not so stressed out or angry about it. lol

[sixstring]

Oh, this ordeal.

I can't speak for all guys, but in general, he needs time alone.

See, where the average woman needs to talk about her problems to solve them, the average man prefers to solve things on his own.

Talking about it can make things worse.

Women can sometimes be afraid he's pulling away from her, so in response she'll follow him. She wants him to open up, which only pushes him farther away.

Best thing to do is tell him you're there for him if he wants to talk about it. Don't push him.

[Dobie_Gillis]

Wow, only two choices, and both so negative. How about, C. I like to talk things out, and D. A little of A, a little of B?

If he wants time alone, it's because he knows that's what he needs to solve the problem. I have some things that I want to solve on my own, and others that I will share with my sweetie. It doesn't mean I am losing interest at all. On the other hand, if she were bugging me when I wanted the alone time, I might start to lose interest due to constant nagging.

[MrEM4N]

If he's introverted he definitely needs time alone to recharge the batteries. There will be times where I've been too social for too long and it burns me out. I'll stay home by myself for an entire week and not answer phone calls or text invites. Once I get over it I'm back to my usual self but I have to remember to give myself some me time.

Its possible your guy is the same way. If I have a stressful work day I just want to come home and relax. Even talking feels like a chore sometimes.

[Anonymous]

This is a VERY FREQUENT source of boy-girl communication issues - great question!

Sometimes when something you mentioned comes up, you want to share it and other times you just need a little space and peace and quiet to focus and work through it, and so often girls would just assume the worst and begin inundating with attempts to get inside your scull or accusations.

[missgvip]

wow! wish I read this before I sent those 10 text messages..but I vow-NEVER AGAIN even if it kills me soflty..lol!

[animalwithin]

Yes! When I'm exhausted from a long day of work and or school, I need a few hours of destressing and time alone. I'm the kind of guy who'll share and talk about how I'm feeling but I like to be left alone for a while before I want to spend time with someone.

[ralph734c]

It's different with each person. From personal experience (myself), he probably just needs time a lone. I've been there before. Now, if I'm in a situation like that, I'd rather spend time with a girl I love. That change took some time though.

[islands7]

A

but after a bried spell, you need to break in and find a way to be the

1. dumpster he can unload onto

then

2. reporter of the silver linings about his black clouds

[calialltheway1993]

It's a known fact that men like having their alone time when they're busy, strssed, or feeling low.

I doubt he's lost interest. He's shutting himself from reality and entering his own world to get his act back together.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Grrr... Question Title and Poll not matching up.. frustrating.

For your BF? no f***ing idea. Don't know the guy. It's likely he just needs some time to himself, but just stay in contact and show you care and support.

[psychman]

When guys are busy they just need alone time. Time for just themselves or time to do nothing. At least I do anyway.

[cmknoll3]

It depends on the situation, but, generally, yes. Sometimes I just want my own time to get away from things. And, even when I'm not necessarily stressed, sometimes I just want some alone time.

[Modernman2006]

When I'm feeling down and out I like being alone to collect myself and see how to repair myself for next mission.

[Anonymous]

Guys are like that its usually stress especially if he's in a high level position.. You have to give them space so they can handle whatever issues they have.. I love men but I hate when they bring there work related issues home.. Sorry guys

[chaochaostar]

May be the pressure of his work, and do not want you to worry about him, so just keep distance, don't worry, multi-chat with him.

[Moloch]

Hell yeah. That's the first thing I do.

[Anonymous]

He probably just needed some space.