My boyfriend wants to move to another country. Should this be a deal breaker?

[gatennis09]

Hey, I am 20 years old and my boyfriend of about 5 years is wanting to move to Japan after he finishes college. If he did go to Japan it would be in about two years. He wants to get an editing job and says that all the good editing jobs for comic book companies are in Japan. I have no idea if this is true or not.. lol I knew that he really liked Japanese food, music, anime, culture and that he was looking into what editing jobs are available, but Japan? And yesterday we were having a serious conversation and he asked,"You know I am serious about the whole moving to Japan thing, right? That's where I see myself living eventually." I don't see how he can know this. Yes he likes Japanese culture but he does not speak Japanese yet and has never visited Japan. Basically my question is, do you think this is some kind of phase that he will change his mind on? I don't want to move to Japan because I don't speak Japanese and if I did move there I don't know if the degree I'm going to get (in allied health) would work there. Should I give this whole Japan thing some time or just straight out say no? I don't want to discourage him from what he wants to do in life.

Updates

+1 y

Haha..sorry. I should have mentioned he wants me to move to Japan.

Updates

+1 y

Just to clarify... I am NOT going to move to Japan. My main question is whether or not this is a deal breaker for you or would you think this is just a phase?

[steffyswan]

In opinion I can understand your concerns because in Japan they don't normally take foreigners to work in their country unless they illustrators. teachers of English or art. Because you think of the negatives, think of the positives. Japan is real nice with a lot of high tech technologies, their cell phones are so awesome! And in the town areas has a lot of lights and quick transportation! Plus if you teach English in Japan. you'll earn a great deal of income. What I suggest, you guys plan a mini trip or vacation there (more like a business trip) as you'll be going there to see what's the economy like, Find out about work, living the environment, jobs available to foreigners and so on.. anything relevant to you possibly living there. I think if you both do this, you'll be able to make the best decision. It's always good to try something before heading in it headfirst. I plan to live in Japan or korea in the future.. And become an animator. I love Japan.

[gatennis09]

Thnaks! I have definitely mentioned he might like teaching in Japan since his degree will be in English. If he decides he doesn't want to teach, that's always something good to put on a resume! And thanks for the info about the teacher salaries. I was not sure if it was more or less than teachers in America.

[yanna8988]

Before you bring the subject up again, wait a few days. I would do my own research about it and see if there are editing jobs where you live and based on what he wants see what other similar options are available close to you. After 5 years I would think there is more than a few things that have allowed you to be together for so long. But maybe sit down with him and say- this is your dream, I understand that and respect it. This is how I feel about it... and you should be honest... and present w/e info you were able to find about the editing field to him. Tell him your concerns for him in regards to moving there to do this; like the language barrier. Let him know that you obviously want to be with him, but you are not willing to move with him to a country you are not interested in and where you are not fluent in the language.

[gatennis09]

Thanks. I told him I didn't want to move to Japan and he basically said that this was all " the best possible scenario" of what he wanted. Since then he has mentioned a few more times.."when we move to Japan"... "do you think Casey (my dog) would go to Japan too?" . I obviously do not want to go but I guess I should give it time since it would be a few years until that anyway. Maybe he will change his mind by then. Thanks!

[dipta]

Would just like to add that working hours in Japan are mad, especially for an editor of comics, and leaves very little room to eat and sleep, much less anything else. He would probably have to be fluent in Japanese and really understand the whole industry, marketing strategy, etc. before becoming a regular editor. I believe this could take years.

Just saying, maybe it's not as glamorous as it seems to be.

[gatennis09]

thanks for the info! I think my boyfriend thinks he will work mainly at home and have a lot of free time. lol I am hoping this is just a phase he is going through and he will pick a more reliable job. This is still his plan tho!

[Ichron]

I really don't want to insult someone's dreams or aspirations, but what he wants to do sounds really ridiculous and cliche of a certain type of person that is often made fun of. Just from your description, he seems like he's really into anime and wants to be an editor for the manga. He doesn't even speak Japanese and wants to be an editor? Do you really think he can master a language enough in the time frame he's giving to be an editor? Everything about it seems silly, immature, and unrealistic. Do you really think he'll actually land a job as an editor for some Japanese comic coming from the United States? Think about it - do you think someone who just learned English would be a newspaper editor shortly after moving to the United States?

[gatennis09]

True. This is what I am thinking! haha! I don't want to tell him this because it sounds harsh but it is not realistic! You didn't really answer my question tho but thanks.

[Ichron]

I didn't answer your question because I don't want you to hinge your decision about something so life changing as to move to another country based simply on what I said. I wanted you to think realistically so that you could come to your own conclusion because ultimately only you can make the right choice for yourself.

[Ichron]

Actually, I'm going to go back on one of my normal rules I set for myself and actually give you life advice to take to heart instead of making you think more. Being an editor requires great command over the language. He doesn't know Japanese. He cannot learn it enough in two years. Some people cannot learn enough of a language in a lifetime to be an editor. Japanese is a very different animal than other languages. I highly, highly doubt he'll get a job as an editor, and it won't work.

[gatennis09]

Thanks. I've been telling him to just apply for a job in the US like with a newspaper or something. Or maybe he could teach English in Japan for a year if he really wants to learn Japanese. So far I am thinking this whole thing will not work but its going to be hard to watch him try to learn a language for a year in college (after earning his degree) because he thinks there's a job out there for him. Once again, thanks for your advice.

[Ichron]

The comic companies will settle for no less than best because while a lot is pictures, a lot of the story comes from the text. It requires a vast knowledge of literary devices and grammar to be effective. Does he even realize Japan uses three different alphabets as well as spelling out the words phonetically with the Latin alphabet like we use? Being an editor in your native tongue is hard enough (think of all the people you know that can't write well in English...).

[foolycooly1001]

You should research if your degree would work there, and you two should learn Japanese together.

[foolycooly1001]

I think Ichron is right about how hard it would be to do what he wants to do.

[Anonymous]

yes, long distance relationships don't work