Tough love vs. Tender love - which do you prefer?

[Anonymous]

I'm referring to love of all kinds; in relationships, in friendships, in family, etc.

Love is tough at times, and tender at others.

I understand that both tough and tender love are needed and wanted, but which do you prefer?

Which do you respond to more intensely?

What has influenced your preference, do you think?

Thanks for answering :-)

Tough Love

Tender Love

[jrose]

I say tough love because it's an extremely difficult thing for someone who cares about you to do- to say the things you need to hear and perhaps risk losing you in the process, but to do it anyway because it's what you need most. That takes a lot of guts and a lot of love. I'm also much more likely to form deep bonds with those people- the friends and family I know who will tell me the truth even when it isn't pretty if that's what I need are the ones I trust enough to open my whole heart to. I know they really do love me and put me before themselves because there they are, risking getting hurt with the backlash.

It's easy enough to give tender love, that's something we all respond to well. But it takes a truly loyal and caring person to give tough love.

Don't get me wrong, you need tender love more often in a relationship than you need tough love and it's definitely important. But once I know a person is going to give me the kind of support and truth I need (even if at the time I don't think I do) it creates a much more powerful bond than a person who only ever shows me the sunshine side of life.

[UberTroll]

Tender love is important a majority of the time but tough love is needed at certain times too. The important thing is knowing to use each appropriately. Personally I enjoy tender love more because it feels awesome in the immediate moment. Tough love sucks while you're receiving it, but it can be good for you in the long run.

[lexxypinck]

me I like Tough Love because as I think it shows more honest feelings yes it does for me like when he hug you hard or like talk to you hardly about how much he loves you this is from the mot sensiteve moment of mine just think about it how much it affect you ther I like romantisme of the tander love !

[RealDeal]

Tender love on the days she loves me, tough love on the days it's hard to love each other. Sometimes I need that small bit of hate to make me appreciate her when she's really good to me. I honestly want someone "to go to war with" but I know she's a keeper when she brings me back from that "alive". But that's just me.

[raptor]

I'm gonna pick tough love, but redefine it as assertive love. Direct, but still respectful.

[emzy-89]

Of course tender love feels better, because tough love can often feel like a criticism. However, I believe both are needed, if the situation calls for tender, then by all means, however, I'm not one of those people who will be tender all of the time. I have absolutely no problems with using the phrase 'seriously, get over it, it's not the end of the world.' lol.

[Dollxface]

I think it should be a mixture of both. There's time where I need tender and times I need rough. If I'm being a complete idiot I love that my loved ones will sit me down and tell me the truth even if its not what I want.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

I'd prefer tender, but if things need to be tough love to really drive a point home or make things clear? Then so be it.

[sa230e]

I prefer tender love. I don't believe in "tough love" and I don't really take kindly to people that do.

Probably had to do with my upbringing and various books I've read.

[kholland65]

I think tough love is more effective in teaching a lesson, tender love is more effective in building a healthy persons.

[523206720]

Just because love is tender does not mean that it is not tough. I would never accept tough love if it was given without tenderness.

[confugirl]

Definitely tender love. Tough love will drive me directly into defense-mode and nothing good comes of that.

[lauramor]

I think I have tough love more, so I guess I choose that because I'm used to it

[Cuddle_Muffin]

I the feeling of tender love, but I prefer the outcomes of tough love.

[Yellowsmurf]

I don't care which is more efficient, tender love feels good.

[Anonymous]

tough love, I think making somebody see the real thing will help them realize things better and will helo them more

[dommage]

tender love, I don't see why would I choose tough love hhaha

[tiredofwaiting]

I love tender love and it makes me feel warm

[namismybabe]

neither. love doesn't exist.

[fuuuuu]

tender love forever

[Anonymous]

I guess tender love