Do people use the word "LOVE" too loosely?

[Olivia9]

I was watching this show "Catfish". For anyone who doesn't watch the show the premise is that people that are dating online want to meet the person in the flesh after dating for a long period of time. A lot of the time the person is completely honest except for their appearance. The person that is often seeking to meet this person always say how the other person is the love of their life, and that they feel like they know them more than anything etc. Yet when the person looks different they don't love them anymore, it's immediate, in one case the person was a little more overweight maybe 10 pounds more than the picture they showed online. Do people use the word love too loosely if they are going to be that shallow about the person they love. To me love means that I would die for you, if you wer to get into an accident I would take care of you, if you wer paralyzed I would stay with you. It just seems like love is so shallow now or people don't take it seriously. What do you guys think? Do you think the meaning of the word love has changed?

[Jas93]

Omg yes. I had this same conversation with this guy I used to date. 2 weeks into our relationship, he asked, "What if I told you I loved you?" and he asked would I tell him I loved him return. I told that we would be lying to each other, because there was no possible way we could love each other so quickly. So as an alternative, I said that we could say "we care about other." I feel more comfortable saying that, than "I love you." Saying those words isn't something I take lightly. A lot of people don't know how distinguish the difference between lust and love. One comes first, the other comes later, once you get to know the person, spend time with over a long period of time. I feel that people who are so quickly to say it (dating wise) are in a rush.

Also I think that a lot of people don't think about that there is difference between being in love and having love for someone. I just just talking about when it comes to relationships and dating. Because like you said, being in love with someone, you would die for them, make sacrifices, be there for them no matter what. Kinda like the same feeling with your family, but not in incestuous way. A lot of people "have love" for other people. When you have love for someone, that love can go away. Have, has, had. I hope I'm making sense

[ragazza91]

I think that love is love no matter what, its amazing how you say you do not take the word lightly yet you use the word and say that love can go away. I guess we will have to agree to disagree

[Jas93]

I guess we are going to have to agree to disagree. I don't use the word lightly, I barely tell people it. So you've never heard anyone say, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you?" That's why I think there can be 2 types. Anyone can have love for someone, in other words care for but everyone isn't in love. The only guy I ever told that was an ex. To this day I can still say that I love him. I don't think can ever stop because he never gave me a reason to. It doesn't mean I think we should

[Jas93]

get back together. To me, having love for someone is caring about someone. I've only told 2 friends of mine that I loved them. I'm not in love with them, I love for them.

[Olivia9]

I get what you are saying. I always though I love you but I'm not "in love with you" meant the sex was bad though lol. Maybe I'm waaay off.

[ragazza91]

I am not understanding your reasoning. It contradicts what you have said about taking the word love seriously.

[ragazza91]

QA correct me if I'm wrong but I thought you were talking about romantic love.

[Jas93]

I really don't understand how you didn't understand what I meant. I've had this discussion with quite a few of other people and they understood. The Questioner did also. My paragraphs might contradict, but I'm not contradicting myself. The 1st one talks about what the question and my experience and thoughts. The 2nd just talks about how I think there are two types of love. Yeah love this love, but you might this person differently than you love that person. Like I said or implied that I tell

[Jas93]

just any ole person that I loved them. My 2nd par. was me just talking about people in general with it comes to love in general. Either way it goes, I reserve those words for people who actually mean a lot to me. I have told friends (only 2) that I have love for them. And Only one boyfriend that I was in love with him. I only used my friends as example because some people can be in love with their friends. But it might not have been such a great example so here's another one. I know a guy friend...

[Jas93]

He used to be in a relationship with this girl that he known for 10 years. She was his first every time. To me, he was/is really in love with her because he is still there for her and cares about her; despite her acting like a ubber bitch to him sometimes, mistreating him, etc. To me, being in love is unconditional love. That's why I compared it to loving a family memberm but not like incest. that family member might do this and that to you and piss you off, but you are going to love them...

[Jas93]

regardlessly and be their for them. If he would have been like, "forget her," like some people are when they break up, then I consider that having love for someone. That's why I feel like in relationships, a lot of people have love for someone, but aren't really in love with them. But just because you're in love with them, doesn't mean that you want to be with them. So yeah. If you don't understand what I'm saying now, then its just you

[Olivia9]

I understand both of your points ragazza91 I see how you are like wtf? Because in romantic love it's kind of all or nothing you wither love someone or you don't, having love and actual love are the same. But I also understand what Jas93 is saying because you can care deeply for someone but not love them, but real love is unconditional and never ends. I think that we all agree that true love lasts and doesn't fade or just shut off. The only debatable part is if the other kind is a valid love.

[sexiileo]

Wow @Jas93 you are being way too sensitive, just because she does not agree with you. You are like its just you, I do agree you did contradict yourself and was it necessary to get all upset and write all that? she thought the QA was talking about romantic love, no need to be a poor sport about it.

[sexiileo]

im reading through her answers like damn, you give a girl that much power? you don't agree then you move on

[Jas93]

How am I being sensitive? How am I being a poor sport? Who said I was upset? How exactly was I contradicting myself ? When I said that I rarely use the word but I felt that there is difference between having love for some and being in love? Me saying that doesn't mean I use the word a lot. I really didn't care if she disagreed with me or not. She has her opinion I have mine. That why I wrote so much to further my answer. You're saying that I should have moved on, so should she.

[Jas93]

The QA may or may have not meant love in a romantic, but I was just talking about I have just felt about the word in general. Me writing all of that wasn't being because defensive. I just have a lot to say (or write) when I'm explaining something.

[Jas93]

miss read your 2nd comment. However in my answer, the first paragraph was how I felt when it comes to me. The 2nd was talking about I felt when it comes to other people saying the word.

[sexiileo]

you can't even read my comments straight, this is exactly what I meant

[sexiileo]

Thanks for proving my point Jas. Also YOU DID get upset by saying

"So yeah. If you don't understand what I'm saying now, then its just you"

She simply said she was not understanding your reasoning." You can't even debate right. Grow up

[Jas93]

I misread your 2rd comment b/cI thought you were talking about me. I'm not upset, but if you say something , I'm obviously going to say something back. I've had this conversation with other people and they understood me just fine. The QA understood me just fine. I explained to her, gave examples and she still didn't understand. Neither could you for some reason. What is there to debate about, it's not even that serious. How about you grow up, instead of coming online to look for an argument

[Jas93]

How about you stop commenting and "move on" if you don't like what I have to say. It doesn't matter if you get it or she gets. As long as the QA gets it, I'm alright:p

[Jas93]

Lol Your profile is probably fake anyways. Who are you really? You've been a member for a few days. You have no answers or questions and the only thing in your activity are your comments to my answer.

[sexiileo]

aww you mad? newsflash I don't care, you are the one arguing with people on here

[sexiileo]

you just mad because I called you out on your bullsh*t

[sexiileo]

its called a private profile...google it, it might make you smarter :)

[sexiileo]

a new user who called you out on your bullsh*t. run along dough girl :)

[Jas93]

lol what bullsh*t? My opinion? Lol do you want a cookie? Last time I checked, I'm entitled to it. You're not too. And considering that you're 31, I see that maturity didn't come with age with you. If it was private, it would have said so. If it was private, I wouldn't have been able to see your activity, which only involved me. Its very funny how you're a new user and you so happened to stumble on and it was posted over 2 weeks ago. Still not convinced that you're a new user.

[Jas93]

You're not too bright*

[Jas93]

You did give me a good laugh silly woman

[Jas93]

Btw, you just set it to private, AFTER I called you out on your bullsh*t.

[Olivia9]

Perhaps you two should block one another it seems pretty dysfunctional what is going on here not to mention that I have 16 notifications from something I posted 19 days ago. I appreciate the thoughtfulness that Jas93 took to create her answer. I don't know any of you, but it is much easier to critique someone who puts themselves out there and answers the question than to actually take the time and effort to write an answer. I love debate clearly, but when it becomes ad hominem, I have to object.

[Jas93]

Thank you for best answers, but you didn't have to, but I appreciate it. Sorry about the all the notifications, I blocked her after my last comment. I can't take some serious who create new profile as a disguise to insult me. I really don't care if she disagree with me, as long as you know what I"m trying to say.

[Anonymous]

there is know such thing as online dating, these people are sharing interests and getting to know each other, but in order to date you have to meet in person to do that. And of course the term love is used too loosely just like the term hate is used too loosely.

And you would die for someone? How is that love if one of you ends up alone?

[Opinion Owner]

*if you end up alone?

I can understand sacrificing something but does that have to be your life? If you love someone enough wouldn't you live for them, fight to live?

[Olivia9]

I meant it in the sense of if he was going to get hit with a bus you move him out of the way and risk your life. Or giving someone a kidney or something...

[Anonymous]

Yes. People "love" everyone and everything these days. The word has basically lost all meaning for most.

[RasmusAiken]

My definition of love is much like yours.

When I say that I love someone, it means that I unconditionally promise never to fail to use my time, my talent, and my resources to act in their best interest. While I can be loving to many people I can love only one person who will take precedence over all others.

Acting in the best interest of others does not necessarily mean giving them what they want. There are many things that we may want that are not in our best interest.

[Olivia9]

It's good to know that there are still people that have some kind of morals and take something like Love seriously and not use it so frivolously.

[Arc2k]

Yeah, I think it is used too often that it has lost it's magic. I always say 'really like' instead of 'love' for things. i.e: 'I really like your shirt!' or 'I really like ice cream!' I save the word 'love' for saying it directly to a person.

I don't love you the same as I love ice cream.

btw Catfish is a really good documentary. The trailer made it look a lot more action packed, but the film really left you in a WTF mood

[Prof_Don]

I don't think so...imo love can be developed from pure technological means, especially with webchat.

[Anonymous]

i think it depends on the person. but maybe some do.

[Anonymous]

sometimes

[Anonymous]

yes