How to get over a long distance mutual break up?

[leiaamidala]

I just broke up with my long distance ex yesterday. He mostly fell out of love with me because of another girl (no real cheating, just emotional cheating. and some feelings for me are still there. I still have feelings for him too) and after some thought he realized it was a long time coming. I had a good, deep thought session myself and also realized that our breakup had been a long time coming, and we were just holding on to a dying thing in vain. We Skyped, and were very calm and even laughed some and we are very open to being friends and even maybe trying to be together again someday if we think we can. We are both actually very, VERY relieved we broke up because we had both been under a lot of stress from our relationship lately.

We're going to have a short time of no contact and then try to be friends, because we are sure that we are just better friends than in a relationship.

However, whenever I think about him with that other girl and him falling out of love with me, I get so angry and sad. How can I deal with this problem? And can I have some extra tips from the community on how to get over him some? Like, how long to have no contact, etc? Because I definitely want to be friends with him again. Thanks a lot :)

[cheesesteak7]

If your emotions are affected by his relationship with other girls, then you should probably not be friends. Honestly, the best way to get over him is to just let time do its "healing" process or associate more with other guys if that gets him off your mind. Also, put things into perspective. There are millions of datable guys in the US. ...maybe not in the Show Me State, but they're out there. Don't be too strung up on just ONE.

But I understand how you feel. Me and my ex (4 years together) are still great friends after a year of separation. She dated one guy since and it broke my heart. It was a while back and she's been single since (she's and older single mom, so she's not particularly huge on the dating scene). I honestly think I'd be OK with her dating another guy, as long as the guy is truly good TO her and FOR her. She'd need my approval! =D

So yeah, I guess either just not be friends if it'll hurt you, or maybe just try to be understanding of the situation, if you want to be a truly genuine friend.

[bettybets]

I would have no contact until your feelings of sadness and guilt are completely gone. It's easy to say you're open to being friends but you still have feelings for him. Think about it: being friends could open you up to hearing more about him and this girl--hearing about them starting to date and him doing all the things he used to do with you with this new person and then some. You don't want that now and I'm 98% sure you won't want it ever.

So until all your feelings for him disappear, I wouldn't contact him. It will be hard because y'all used to be close but time really does help. It will take a long time though so try to be patient.