When he says that he wants to take it slow, what does that mean?

[jen_rox]

The guy I'm seeing wants to take things slow. I know what "taking it slow" means for a girl, or at least to me--don't try to get in my pants just yet ... but what does it mean to a guy? Does this mean he still wants his space as far as hanging out and calls go?

[Blindness]

Have you asked him to specifically define "taking it slow"? You can ask him without it sounding like an interrogation.

You have the right to ask about stuff like this, because the relationship affects both of you. and if he wants or needs something specific, you can't offer it unless you know what it is.

so talk to him.

But I think there's a huge difference between "taking it slow but deliberately" and "drifting along without a plan." The first is good, the second is a recipe for disaster. So if he can't define specifically what "taking it slow" means to him, it might be a red flag that he's stringing you along or some other bad thing...

good luck.

[jen_rox]

No, I didn't ask for a definition. Any suggestions for phrasing so it doesn't seem like an interrogation? ... I think this is leaning toward taking it slow, but deliberately. He hasn't been in a relationship for a couple of years and I haven't been in one for about a year, so that's why I'm leaning that way.

[Blindness]

Try something like this:

"Remember when you said you want to take it slow? I'm cool with that, because I like you. I'm willing to work with you. But it'd be helpful for me if I had some idea of what you meant, so I know the boundaries and expectations."

[armyant]

Guys don't normally want to slow down the physical progress of a relationship, but they are wary of early attempts to nest and tame them. I.e. girl wants to move in together.

But if you're not there yet, it sounds like he could be losing interest.

[Anonymous]

From my perspective taking it slow means he is having doubts about you and the relationship for whatever his reasoning is (lost of interest, another girl in the picture, hoping an ex comes back etc.) If he wants to "take it slow" then let him initiate contact, and if you see he's playing games, then don't continue anything with him because you will be in too deep..i advise you not to hook up with him until he knows what he wants and makes his intentions more clear to you

[Ynotme]

I agree with the anonymous female...He is most certainly wanting to take things slow for a reason good or bad. I was just in a situation like that, and mainly the guy wanted to take things slow because he was dealing with another female. So basically he wanted to see I guess which one of us was better for him. I cut that short for I couldn't deal with being an option rather than an priority.

[guyscrytoo]

If this is bothering you - be upfront about it - if he likes you - he'll answer you truthfully and tell you how he feels. Why play games and beat around the bush? If he dumps you before anything serious is started - he wasn't necessarily the right person.