Questions: Relationships

Just curious. Always fantasized about snuggling and cuddling with an Irish/Irish-American girl.

I have been struggling with a lot of depression lately. I am 27 (turning 28 this year) and never had a real girlfriend before.

Back in June 2020, I met this girl on a coding forum. We really hit it off and had an online thing going for 5 months. I finally met her in person in November of 2020, where she discovered I wasn't her type. I was heartbroken.

She never had a male friend before she met me. She was a devout Catholic girl that was sheltered and homeschooled her entire life in the farmlands of rural Illinois along with 6 other siblings. She never had a boyfriend before, never kissed, and was a virgin. She was exactly the girl I was looking for, because I sought a girl without a romantic past, and she was perfect.

I was very heartbroken when she broke up with me. I didn't really count her as a real girlfriend because what we had was almost all online and she dumped me when we met in person for the first time.

Anyways, she met some other guy whom she became serious with back in early 2020. She was engaged to him a few months later, and they are expected to be married on the 22nd this month. I have been struggling about it, especially because her wedding day is approaching. This guy will get to be her first everything... her first love, the first guy to see her naked, the first guy to take her virginity, and everything!

Inner child as in still enjoying things that are considered "kiddy" for adults and things they've enjoyed as children. I know for sure I still have plenty of inner child (video games, manga/anime, etc.) in me because without it, my clinical depression would have only just skyrocketed and I end up going down a dark path at my age as an adult. I hope whichever woman gets interested in me understands that.

Reference article: https://longdistancefun.com/long-distance-relationship-definition/