Polls: Relationships

I dated Pat in 1979-1980, and she decided to return to her ex-husband because she felt guilty about their divorce. In 2003, I reunited with Pat and we married in 2005. We divorced early in 2007 after she was unfaithful to me. In reuniting, I ignored the warning signs.

Later that year, I met Oksana and we dated throughout 2007 and 2008. Then she moved about 250 miles away and we drifted apart. I kept in contact with her and we eventually started trying to rekindle things on a long distance basis, but she wasn't willing to make the effort and I decided to say goodbye so that I could move forward with my life.

When you try a relationship and it doesn't work the first time. . . you can try it again but it usually doesn't work the second time, either. . . unless the problem was just distance (like graduating high school and going to different colleges.)

What is your experience wth trying to reignite a failed relationship?

Shhh. They still don't know about it

In my experience, women hold a grudge (especially if it's against a man) much more than a man does. A man tends to move on with more important things while a woman seems to hold onto that grudge, sometimes until they get even.

What do you think? Do men or women hold grudges more?

Cause when you hate you still care somewhat whereas when you are indifferent you don’t.

I've had this question from multiple females in ailing relationships recently. Seems an expectation of men that no matter the difficulty, they will keep fighting and come back for the woman... undying love.

... and so I ask about staying power...

Imagine your beautiful mate is everything you wanted and easy, except one thing. Each day, they prick you with a small needle, not worse than a bee sting. It's ridiculous, but it's their way out outletting internal grief and you accepted their cultural behavior because they are perfect in every other way.

How many days of that can you endure.

This is the basis in some cultures, of torture...

Obviously there's a point to the analogy. Relationships have some pain which we need to endure, hopefully a lot more good and you learn to work together effectively to make each others lives better, more fun, more joyful, fulfill needs of each.

...

Love seems a bit alchemy doesn't it, and maybe a notch fickle. It requires great communication, patience, giving, receiving, accepting. It's alchemy cooking...