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No, I can't say I would make the effort. It is common for people, like me, to reevaluate a relationship once it's over and ask yourself what if?
With time a distance you start to think maybe there were some things you could of did better. Maybe you overreacted or it was not as bad as you thought. Maybe you start to think that if you had another chance, you would do better the second time.
The truth, all those things might be true, and maybe you would do better... but that does not mean the other person would. When I end a relationship with someone I never go back on the decision. I tell myself to trust my instincts, at that time there was good reason as to why I felt it was right to end it. In the end those reason are still valid, regardless of how I feel days, weeks or months later. Those issue were never resolved at that moment for a reason, and they are still unresolved at this current point in time.
So, if the other person is not giving me any reason to think they want to regauge with me and address those issues and achieve some type of resolution that would allow for a better pathway forward... then no, I never go back and try to restart the relationship.
I never end a relationship when I still feel there is a chance, Once I do end it, it's because I lost faith in the process with this person. I have already exhausted my options and put out every effort, so it's over for me, there is no going back.
Our self-absorbed, protective, general fallen nature and natural attempts at Self-pleasure makes each of us a world🌎 unto OurSelves.
The Relationship solution is the same in both the first and now second attempts with our Exgirlfriend. A communion of two where each sees the other in terms of giving Pleasure is misguided.
Relationship and Rulership go hand-in-hand and must coexist, therefore, an undoing of Self importance must take place.
We have a modern society, since Freud, Carl Rogers into modern secular humanists, that has been Self absorbed. From Self in its unconscious and unknown to recognition of both the internal and external whole Self has occurred.
Evidenced in our behavioral analysis of Freedom as free of all encumbrances. Each in our own Selves elevating Life to Me, Myself, and I makes us each poor relationship quality material.
Know Thyself Truly before assuming you manage or be with another in one āļø entity.
My gag boyfriend and I dated LD for 2-3 years. He broke up with me because he didnāt know what intimate love is.
while we were broken up. I evaluated what happened to him when he was a child. How he was raise. How his mom (primary care taker) treated him for him to have such fear. With in the year, I also try to fight out how to communicate with him.
Being on gag. I was able to understand his questions better.
we got back togetherā¦the main issue was still there, but I learned to talk to him, he didnāt trust me stillā¦it took another year of fights and him, his realization where I was coming fromā¦ slowly he learned I was there for himā¦for his best interest and he realized I was right and others did not treat him well.
so if you want things to workā¦you have to be the one who can step back understand him.
I donāt know your situation..
most give up and days the ex is bad. To meā¦ they will never learn or grow fromā¦because it takes two.
hope things work out for you one way or the other
Well considering I don't think I will ever find true love.. I don't know... but if I went back I think it would just be the same thing all over again... with my ex we talk about it occasionally and he has said he doesn't care either way... and he would try to change... but he has lied about so many things like that just to keep me with him in the past, that it just seems pointless... Like we still have love for each other but I don't think either of us will really put the effort in to make things better...
Opinion
36Opinion
u Many people realize that, despite your longing to reunite, trying to reconcile with an ex is almost always a doomed venture that should be avoided.
I would make an effort since I know what went wrong. I've let her wait for 3 years since I had to finish college first, but then she expected me to ask her out while on the other hand she mentioned that I should find a job. My goal was to not only find a job but also keep it for at least a year. I had to wait for another contract for another six months, but she kept on insisting, like hinting on dating someone already.
I've recently dreamed about sitting down with her, finally explaining to her why I've let her wait for now 4 years (I've had high debts to pay) but on the other hand she's shown her true color because she first only stuck with that boyfriend she told me of for like 6 weeks, and that guy now seems to only be a fuckbuddy to her. We kept on talking like we did when she was still single, but when I found out that she was still with him but didn't want to move in with him while she had told me that she wanted to have kids some day, I just didn't know what to believe anymore. I've avoided her for over six months so far.
The question is far more binary than it should be.
Is it normal to want to get back with an ex? Yes, sometimes; but not always.
Is it wise to get back with an ex? Usually not, but sometimes yes.
Like with most things, the devil is in the details; why did the relationship fail? Have the issues been addressed? Are both parties able to move past the previous breakdown? Who was the instigator of the separation, or was it mutual? Are the persons involved healthy for each other?
To answer it directly, if you want to get back with your ex, it's rational to make an effort to do so; I voted yes. But there's a LOT wrapped up in my simple answer.
I can't raise the dead. Just need to find someone with an open heart and mind. Who isn't narcissistic, paranoid, selfish, nor straight jacket material, nor a criminal.
I'm also not going to steal back any that got married to another and had children. That'd be unfair to the child.
Lately, women get defensive if I show them even the slightest act of kindness. Until all I can say is: "Never mind," then walk away.
When family leaves you feeling taken for granted and cheap, and friends have no place for you to stay, and any effort to make new ones always ends in regret, sometimes all you want is to retreat, and nurse the pain.
I did that already in the past. To no avail. Because I missed her and was still in love with the memories. Fast forward to now and I have virtually no interest in her or ever wanting to be back with her. In fact if we were to get back together today I think I would feel like I'm going back to the past, and I might even feel guilty for it, like a kind of inner disgust with myself.
A longing to reunite with an ex is subconsciously rooted in the memories you love about them. Also think about it: if you have to make an effort to get back with your ex, then the relationship is not meant to be. The right person who comes into your life will stay in your life, or you will stay in theirs. It took me a long time to realize this, and now that I do I am much happier with that knowledge.
If ex wants to get back, then ex who dumped you should make an effort. She/He the one who ended it.
I was dumped 2 years ago. Was it hard for me - sure. Do i want her back now? No! After i saw who she replaced me with. It got a lot easier for me :)
i guess , i want her back and not even sure why as she treated me badly and doesn't seem to care but i went out of my way to try and find her but failed and now don't know what to do. we aren't even communicating
That's a true statement but they're an ex for a reason. Not sure this is something for which the effort should be made.
I'd put in effort, she was a great woman and I was the one that messed it up. It's never going to happen though. It's been over a decade since I've been married, I've had kids now, and multiples of side chicks since then. Plus I moved to the United States and the last I knew of her she was living in Chiba, Japan.
Depends on who broke up. If I broke up Iāll make an effort, if she dumped me I will make basically no effort. I might tell her I think she made a huge mistake but yeah itās on the breaker upper to mend things
If you want her bad enough, youāll try real hard but sometimes the hand writing is on the wall, and you can only do so much
If you want to get back with someone, you have to fix what you did that made the relationship end, but remember that you want to get back to them, they'll still be the same. Nobody who dumps you does so to change and then go back to you. So if you can't deal with things that they used to do, that won't change if you are trying to get thrm back.
Depends on how we split up, if it was just bad timing then Iād make an effort. But if we split for a bad reason like if he cheated or was abusive then no
I donāt want none of my exes back. But letās play hypothetical. Iād go tell him I want him back and what to try again. If his intentions are the same as mine, then sure Iām willing to put forth the energy to try and make it work.
No I wouldn't want to make an effort it never works out anyhow I wouldn't want to get back with any of my exes. My ex's became ex's because I wasn't happy with them so no I don't want to go back to being unhappy.
I would never, make the effort. SHE contacted me many years after she left (married) and I was civil with her, but after the mess she left me in I would never try to start up with her again.
No, time to move on because the realationship wasn't working out at first thats why we broke up from the beginning but being a adult its ok to give your ex girlfriend or boyfriend a phone call every now and then. Relationships sometimes dont work out but you have to keep your head high and evolve yourself me and all my ex girlfriends are all good I call them sometimes and send them gifts.
No because if she broke up with me then she's the one who should come back to me. And I know it's not myself who chooses to break up with them.
i want to but i can't keep going through all the hurt and pain she's caused me her being with another guy
Not interested in getting back with any exes. It would make things too awkward and to me once things run its course it happens for a reason.
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