This is probably not very helpful. I was in highschool at the time. I'm now 22 by the way, and have been in relationships longer then a month. I just actually got out of a 2 year relationship. My ex dated for a month in highschool, and actually dumped me after the month that we had been together. I wanted him back of course, but not to the extent where I was going to talk to him. I was going to do the no contact rule completely. I made one last call to make it full closure, while he went back to his ex who he had dated all 4 years on and off of highschool. I quit talking to him, and I started seeing his now/previous ex's brother, and we started hanging out. I eventually moved away to school in a different state. He contacted me almost a year later (over Facebook) wanting to hang out. I said sure thinking he had grown up and his ex was out of the picture. Summer went by he sent me another message gave me his phone number, but then mentioned that his ex girlfriend was a bitch and he was done with her. And that's when I knew he wasn't wanting to hang out with me because he liked me, he wanted to hang out with me, because his ex yet did something wrong. In the end it was all about his ex. I didn't love him, so it might be irrelevant. But in highschool it felt like somewhat of a let down. Here is a case where the no contact rule worked.
Overall,
I think time makes the heart grow fonder, also playing hard to get does too. People fight 10 times harder for things they can't have. You should take this time to grow as a person, enjoy the life you couldn't have when you were dating someone. The point of the matter is focus on you, inside and out. Your probably an awesome person, he just lost sight of that and needs a reminder. Trust me, you can have anyone you want, and you just have to remember that any road that you take, or any paths that you might cross it's for a reason. Everything will work out in the end. You just have to trust that. Your going to look down the road one day when your 80, and no matter what happens, your gonna know that life took you down the road you needed to be, and you won't want to change a thing.
Anyways
I mean, I guess it can work, but it's not something you do in order to manipulate him to come back. It's something you do for yourself. To heal. My ex broke up with me and wanted to stay friends, but we kept arguing (or rather, I kept arguing with him). So I pretty much said it wasn't something I could do, so I said my goodbyes and tried not to talk to him. But I guess I'm lousy at goodbyes because a couple of weeks later I started talking to him again on the pretense of trying to be friends, but then he told me one day how he really missed me and how he made a mistake. People always break up and want to get back together, but it's hard. Even if it does happen, it's hard not to think about the circumstances about why you broke up in the first place. For me, all I could think about was...what if we break up again? Having no contact might work (it did in my case -- and it wasn't my plan at ALL...I really did just need the space so I could stop being so angry), but it might actually just get you no contact. Which will only make you feel worse.
What do you mean by "mission failed"?
If he really just has no more love for you, then no contact will help you get over him but it won't bring him back. Nothing can bring a person back who doesn't love you anymore.
I was dumped in a pretty horrible way by my boyfriend of 3 years. We had been living together for 2 of those years and he was convinced I was the love of his life. He had never connected to anyone like he had to me. When the breakup happened and I started no contact it did not bring him back to me. But what it did do is give me the space I needed to realize the reason he "loved" me so much was because of the things I would do for him. He was always up front about being very focused on himself and he treated his friends and family the same way, only talking to them when he needed something. So, when I finally couldn't live with doing all the giving and not getting the attention in return he used to give me, well he was over it.
I hope the distance will give you time to reconsider what is going on and get to a better place.
I know where you are coming from. Take my advice and keep working on yourself. Make sure you are happy. If he never comes around at least you are happy by yourself or until another prince charming comes into view. I know you probably don't want to hear that. I have been broken up with my girlfriend for a few months now. When you love someone you just love them. You can't explain it or get away from it. I too have been working on myself staying happy and busy. She started calling me again telling me she missed me and wanted only me. She has a new boyfriend right now. If she wants me back she will have to leave this other guy and really show me something. She will have to apologize to me. Don't let him off the hook or back in too soon. Especially if he is with another girl. Just keep doing your thing. No worries.
If you want your ex back and you ignore them, that's called "silent treatment." The trouble with the silent treatment is that a) it's manipulative and abusive, and b) you're assuming that he wants to get back with you. What if he's not interested in dating again? What if he's happier now? If so, you're devoting a lot of time and energy to a worthless task.
No Contact is a method that you use after a relationship that will help you heal and recover. No Contact means that you refuse to be friends, refuse to stay in contact, refuse to boost their ego or be a back-up plan. They're dead to you -- I mean forever.
Good luck.
Opinion
7Opinion
When someone dumps you, no contact isn't a plot to hurt them or get back at them. A break up happens for a reason. No contact gives both people the time and space they need to figure out what went wrong. Because there is something wrong. It depends on the situation. Some guys want girls to chase them and play games. Others genuinely want to move on or want time to themselves. You shouldn't be focusing on him or "how" to get him back. Because you can't make someone be with you, that's not a real loving relationship. Stop worrying about what he's doing. Start focusing on yourself. Everytime you want to talk to him talk to a friend instead. I started writing song lyrics that said exactly what I wanted to say out instead of texting or calling him. Find a new hobby to keep yourself busy. Focus on the other things in your life. Trying to contact him will only hurt yourself more. If he's the one that broke up with you he needs to initiate the contact. He might respond if you do contact him, but you aren't gonna get the answers you want. He will probably be mean to get you to stop, he might be nice to not hurt your feelings. If he was thinking about getting you back he would probably be contacting you. So convincing yourself he wants you back and is just waiting by the phone for your call is keeping you from moving on and focusing on making yourself happy. If it helps, I was contacting my ex for a while. He was a ass to me, he was civil, now he's ignoring me after we planned to talk. It's only hurting me more. He refused to give me the closure I needed, so I need to find it myself. At one point he wanted to be friends, but I couldn't because I knew I wanted more. It's not mean or hurtful to have no contact for awhile because it's the only fair thing for both people
Every single boyfriend (about 6 of them) in the last 5 years (after my divorce) has contacted me to see if he had a chance to get back together with me, but I have not in every case. These relationships lasted anywhere from 3 months to 2 years. They were all different; one only wanted a temporary relationship, one was a commitment-phobe, one was an alcoholic, one was abusive, one was a common jerk, another just disappeared after a few months (I didn’t pursue, I let him go). Each time I saw that they were not right for me, I did not contact any of them afterward even though it may have hurt like hell. It took them from a couple weeks to 6 months (2 of them) to contact me. One said he realized the err of his ways and begged me to date him again. Another sent me flowers & movie tickets. One said he wanted to talk. Another asked me out again (even after living with me for 2 years and moving out). People, men included, are all different, but the rule works in my case. I have a lot to offer, I’m pretty, and have a good heart. I did make mistakes, acted insecure, and threw fits sometimes. And still they returned.
Oh babe :( I'm in exactly the same situation. I've cut all ties with my ex at the moment because I could bear to hear him going on about his new woman. Keep it up and stay strong, you're doing the right thing. Use this time to concentrate on yourself and start doing other things to take your mind off him. Sometimes you have to let something go to see if it was worth having in the first place. Best of luck sweetheart ...xx
I wouldn't talk to him for about a week and a half. He dumped me. Then when he met me up for lunch and to give me closure...oh yeah, I did call him finally and said can we meet to exchange stuff and so I can get closure. By the end of our talk he was begging me back.
It really depends... If you were the rebound relationship I would say no. No contact isn't a way to get someone back, but it's a way to work on yourself, heal from the emotional pain, and focus on YOU. No contact has never worked for me, but then again it doesn't work often for men. Now I will tell you this. If you try to get in contact and you have not healed, then you will sound desperate, clingy, and you will look unattractive. No contact can work for you because you are a woman. You just have to work on yourself to become the better person. If you know why the relationship ended then you have an advantage on what to work on.
If a guy dumps a girl, it's because he really can't stand her. Either move on or change yourself to be what he was looking for originally. I loved my ex (and still do), all she would have had to do is lose some weight and give me kids. She loved herself more than our relationship so I found a hot single woman who wanted me to give her children and dropped her.
If you don't want to be what he needs, go find someone that you can make happy and makes you happy as well. It'll work out best in the end. Otherwise you're just being selfish.
Most guys act like they don't care when him and his girlfriend break up, and what does that make us girls do? Want him more! IF you act like you don't care, most of the time they are going to want you back. MOST OF THE TIME. Guys like to chase, they don't like to be chased. So keep trying it out! If it works, good job, and if not, find a new one cause he isn't worth your time girl!
xoxo
becky
The whole "no contact" idea is complete bullsh*t to me, let me tell you that much. If I wanted someone, I'd go after them, unless they specifically told me, "Hey, no I'm really not interested in you" or "There's no chemistry". I respect those wishes, and I pack up and leave. Trying to pretend to be cool by "Oh I have a life, so I won't contact you" is complete, and utter ridiculous behavior to me. If people are interested, they'll contact each other, and take it from there.
DONT CONTACT I WOULD TRY AN FORGET HIM THE TRUTH IS IF HE DUMPED YOU HE DIDNT LIKE YOU THAT MUCH ITS BEEN A MONTH NOW SO ID JUST TRY ANDD GET OVER IT THERES MUCH WORSE THINGS YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE ELS ALOT OF PEOPLE GO THREW THIS BUT PRBLY MUCH WORSE THINGS
Am here not only to testify but also to encourage people facing
marital, relationship and financial problem e. t. c. About the marvelous
works of Dr. Ogundu
email: (drogunduspellcaster@gmail. com ) i was lost in love with my
husband until a lady snatched him away from me with an evil spell.
then i cried out to my boss wife and she told me about how she faced a
similar problem and gave this great man contact to me and i gave him
all the items he needed for the spell and now am happy again living in
love with my family. I employ you to contact this man. your story or
pain’s will change within days and you will be smiling like me today.
Once again am grateful sir. contact him on his email via:
drogunduspellcaster@gmail. com
There's a plus side to no contact. The plus side is it's easier to move on and if he likes you he might contact you. Just curious, mission failed as in you contacted him or it's over with.
Also I enforce my no contact rule with my ex because if they came back to my life I would probably extremely vengeful towards them and say a bunch of mean things to them that I never said but always wanted to and give them one giant I told you so.
i think so bcuz he won't kno what he's missing till its gone. but part of the "no contact" thing is "seeing new poeple" to get ur mind off the old guy. but don't get too serious with any new guy till ur over the last one because that will confuse you and ... juust trust me. being on the rebound is BAAAAAAAD Business kid.
NOOO please don't do that! I beg you; PLEASE DON'T
I lost the one, and I know it was, because I have NEVER felt the same again since. I waited to long to start talking, and by then someone else got her, and made her confused, and BAM, she was gone for me.
SO I compele you to pick up the damn phone and call him, and call him again till he answers, and just ask him how his day was. You can't throw such a thing away, or around as love. It will break like your heart, and never get minded.
So seek him out and get to know him again, so in til you may go back out again.
I think the longest you can go with that method is about a month and if it's beyond that,some people choose to go on. I wouldn't initiate communication if I was the one who was dumped either however let at least 2 weeks go by in which you can think whether or not you truly want to be with him for the right reasons or not. after you have a clear decision, then I'd see if I can "accidentally" bump into him if I know where he usually hangs out. and tell him you want to talk-
It may or it may not. It will definitely show that if he comes back, it was meant to be. But over the time where there is absence, the 'hate' of the moment (whatever the reason) will be lost and he will only remember the good (unless he really is one who broods on the past fights) and miss you. Keep it up. If he told you to leave him alone, do what he wants. He'll regret it if he does miss you.
no contact. how bout I buy a hammer to bust my head in? now repeat after me...who would want to contact someone who doesn't care nor talks to you who is your ex. repeat ten times think about it. then kick yourself. because you probably lost him doing this.
hiya, I did this with my boyfriend. I did NC from month 2 - 5 and then he staretd to contact me. I know it was quite a while but I work with him so saw him everyday just didn't talk to him so we were kind of forced together. I defintaely believe it works but you have to stick at it, I'm awful at doing that. it also puts your in a better frame of mind. good luck hun xxxx
"No contact" can't possibly help get an ex back. How exactly is your ex going to date you again if you won't speak to him?
are you doing no contact at you decision or because he asked for time, or just doesn't want to talk to you?
My ex went through 2 girlfriends in the year that we have been apart and I left him alone the whole time. Never talked to him. He broke up with the second one a month ago and started texting and Facebooking me. So I would say yes. But it took a year. So who knows.
Most Helpful Opinions