Polls: Relationships

You hear people say forgiveness sets you free…
but others feel like closure only comes after justice is served.

What actually gives you closure when someone you love hurts you deeply?

And to define what 'not treating others well' is:

• No interest in, and little or no time for, the other.
• Asking no questions about the other's life or how they are doing.
• Being entirely self-focused.
• Looking for encouragement and support, but not giving it in return.
• Not showing appreciation for the other.

How unwell is the person with depression/stress?
Answer: Highly stressed/depressed.

How long has it been going on?
Answer: Years.

I'm only giving two multiple choice options, which I know is limiting, but it's purposeful. I'm trying to distill a complex issue down to brass tacks.

Thank you, in advance, for all comments and thoughts on the matter. Feel free to elaborate. I'd love to hear your anecdotal and personal stories of how you felt, from either vantage point, and what you concluded and did about it.

P. S. The main reason I left GAG years ago is because GAG sucks ass now, due primarily to management issues being made.
I wasn't going to mention it, but it's happening right now, as I am trying to post this question.

They have programmed A. I. to take over my title, and is repeatedly changing the wording on it.
Fuck off, GAG, and A. I. I will decide what I want to say, and exactly how to say it.

My title should be: Is depression or chronic stress a valid reason not to treat others well?

I grew up with a narcissistic father and later spent five years married to a narcissistic partner. After living through that, I can recognize those patterns instantly. I’ve learned how their dynamics work — what to avoid saying, how to respond, and even how tone and body language can shift the interaction. Their tactics are sophisticated, and surviving them taught me a lot about how to protect myself.

I don’t use those skills to control people, and honestly, the idea of having that kind of influence makes me uneasy. But when I realize I’m dealing with someone who’s using manipulative behavior, I know how to hold my ground and not get pulled into their games. It’s empowering to know I’m no longer an easy target, even if the whole thing feels complicated at times.

A close friend of mine, who works in mental health and also has NPD, once gave me the best advice: “Stop oversharing and start listening.” It changed everything about how I navigate these interactions.

In a way, spending so much of my life around narcissistic personalities taught me how to mirror some of their strategies when I absolutely need to — but only as a form of self‑protection, not as a way of living.