What do you think Jesus Christ’s first words will be when he comes back?

[Anonymous]

I’m back bitches!

Daddy’s home!

Surprise motherfuckers!

Howdy ho folks!

Did you miss me?

What the fuck have you done to this place? !

Other (leave in comments)

[abc3643]

Jesús "El Savior" Christ will say:

¿Conoces algún trabajo de paisajismo que podamos realizar? Soy Jesús y acabo de cruzar la frontera con Manuel, Miguel y José buscando trabajo como nuestro amigo Mantequilla.

which, translated into English, will be:

Do you know of any landscaping work we can do? I'm Jesús and I just crossed the border with Manuel, Miguel, and José looking for work like our friend Mantequilla.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/BkIcktncrk4

[love_conquers_lust]

You're all fired. 🔥🔥🔥 (Rapture joke)

[IslaTheWitch]

"Bloody fucking hell" credits to Simon "Ghost" Riley, MWII

[KostasKouvalis]

LMAO! I want some comedian to do a "Polish Jesus" skit now!
Polish Jesus would probably be more formal though. "Popierdoliło panstwa już kompletnie! Pantswo sie będziecie w piekle smażyć!"

[IslaTheWitch]

@KostasKouvalis lol :D maybe not, we have a "new government"

[KostasKouvalis]

Personally, I support the Pis party. My dad's family supports the opposition though and calls them "Piszory" lol

[IslaTheWitch]

@KostasKouvalis I support whatever will bring the change...

[KostasKouvalis]

Fair enough. I'll admit, I'm not a fan of Donald Tusk though.

[IslaTheWitch]

@KostasKouvalis for now, we do not have much of an alternative :D I just observe... they have to make a budget soon or we will have the next elections :D

[KostasKouvalis]

I don't research their economic policies, as it doesn't effect me. But Polish politicians are always in the news for one reason or another. lol

[Kelly6]

wow so much hate, all because of money?

[jshm2]

Where are those stupid fuckers who made their symbol of me the fucking they nailed me on? Who the fuck does that?

You won't put your dead kids car crash photo on his fucking remembrance alter. But put the last thing the Romans did to me in every room!

[Paris13]

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air.

***No Guns!!! "Come to Me, My Children of God, The Chosen Ones."xxoo

[zeitgeist057]

Assuming he comes back the same way he came the first time, born as a baby to mortal men, his first words will likely be something like:

"Mama" or "Dada"

but first a lot of crying, pooping and peeing his diapers, and playing with car keys. Just like the first time around (minus the car keys, they didn't have those back then).

[Agape93]

"Finally, I can start my porn career! Passion of the christ 2, the second cumming!"

[Asker]

Gold

[mandyfire98]

"What the fuck is wrong with all of you? Like seriously, I died for you fucks? I need to start over immediately."

[KostasKouvalis]

"I've been watching this whole time. I'm so disappointed in you guys."

[CarolineW]

"Found the holy grail, yet? No? Thought not"

[BCA6010]

Probably a straightforward and polite greeting.

[molonski2]

Well , he would fit right in now with all his women..
Thats if he can keep out of a USA/ Chinese jail.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

He'll be like: "As I expected, this place hasn't changed at all. However I am astonded how many people use my name as an interjection of astonishment/fear"

[Drumlin2001]

Whatsuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppp

[tfan1]

I have returned.

[strateguy632]

just simply "surprise".

[Anonymous]

What the fuck have you done with this place.!

[sean1234]

It is finished!

[sean1234]

Your selections are incredibly ridiculous. Trying not to laugh but it's a serious question.

[sean1234]

OK let me reiterate... Jesus said it is finished just before he died on the cross, only makes sense that he say the same thing again because he is waiting for satan to do everything he wants to do before things get to bad.