Can anybody help me compromise with my girlfriend😭?

[Fringe_fanatic]

My girl and I have been together for some time now. She is a practicing Catholic whose father is a Catholic deacon. I am a non denominational protestant whose father is a pastor and mother a senator. For Catholics, the children which a couple have must be raised, or rather the Catholic parent must do everything in their power to ensure the child swears allegiance to the Catholic Church. This is a bit of a red flag for me, as I want my future kids to choose to be baptized, serve at my church on a team of their choice, as I have. More than that, a wedding would apparently have to be Catholic. I resorted to having "two" weddings, with the legitimate one being the Catholic one, as I want my father to proceed my marriage, as is a family tradition of ours. But even after consulting a Catholic theologian that I know, he told me it would imply that she was married twice, which is against the catechism. You see my predicament. Make no mistake, I have no problem with the idea of Catholic children, but I want my future kids to have that choice. Or two ceremonies where the Catholic one would be recognized. Pls help

[Anonymous]

Because you guys are non denominational Protestants I'm not sure but the Catholic Church recognises any marraige and baptism of a child in a Christian church regardless of it not being a Catholic church.

For Catholics the sacraments are holy rights of passage for them to go through baptism, pennance, communion, confirmation, marraige, last rites and or holy orders.

You can get married a 2nd time by your father but the Catholic priest will not perform a 2nd wedding because on his eyes you are already married. Some priests might not marry you if you are not a Catholic so you may need to convert and do the sacraments that you missed.

There is no swearing allegiance to the church, just the Nicene Creed which is a proffession of faith not an oath of allegiance. There is also no obligatory tithes such as 10% of your earnings, you donate what you can to the collection.

If you are thinking about marraige and kids you will let her have her wedding day, my husband gave me my wedding day as I was going to bear his children.

[Opinion Owner]

Also children can go through all their sacraments and still choose to be prodestants later.

[Fringe_fanatic]

She's actually a roman Catholic. I'm the protestant

[Opinion Owner]

So there's no real problem. If you've been baptised in a prodestant church the Catholic Church will recognise it. Have you talked to a priest because a priest might not perform a wedding ceremony if you aren't Catholic, he may just bless your wedding

[Anonymous]

If I may be so bold in saying this; even though the both of you are Christians, it’s possible that you may not be equally yoked. And it makes sense to be concerned.
Many Catholics practice infant baptism, but Protestants do not. For Protestants, baptism is the public declaration of our salvation. We accept Jesus into our hearts, and then we are born again through baptism. We are a part of the Church, and we serve within the Church, but our allegiance is to Christ above all.
I would suggest, if you and your girlfriend go forward in marriage and having children, you emphasize the need for relationship over tradition. Jesus is a gentleman and will never force your children to love Him. But they need to be free to choose whether or not they have that relationship with Him.

[strateguy632]

That answer is inaccurate because the second marriage was to the same person.

Make an ultimatum, "the kids won't go to catholic school or we get annulment" maybe that will cause a compromise of going to public school instead of her or your preference as a compromise.

If she is not willing to send to a third public scool you must get annulment.

[CheeseMonster]

Your girlfriend, is she also wanting to find a compromise for these things?

[Fringe_fanatic]

Yes. We love eachother very much and want this to work out

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

If you want them to have a choice then that has to be the compromise. Switch off churches every Sunday with the kids and when the time comes for the child to mane a decision about how they want to be baptized, let them choose. You and her, as the parents, have no say over the decisions the third person makes. You have to respect your child’s autonomy completely because that way what happens is neither person’s fault.

[Ariesman81]

Be the leader of your family and make a decision. And then stand by it.