Are “surface” people and genuinely selfless people fundamentally different?

[jennifer_bloom]

A real person will live a God respecting life for decades without telling a single person about the things they do, they will clean the house, do the laundry, babysit their nephews, climb hills for muscle toning, and educate themselves without telling a single person about how much they are sacrificing to perform and serve their family.

A surface person, will only cook dinner when their family knows they are the ones cooking the family dinner, will only tip when friends are watching them tip, will only show up on time for appointments when they are worried about being gossiped about for being late, will only serve the customers that pay them when they fear law suits or social rejection for not serving their customers properly, etc...

It seems the two types of people are totally unrelated extremes of behaviour and moral ideology.

[ericJackson]

​I agree that internal motivation matters most, but I also think people fall on a spectrum. Someone might start out acting "surface" because they care about social perception, but over time, those good habits can shape them into someone genuinely selfless. Still, quietly serving without needing an audience is rare.