Search Results: how to ask a guy for a hug

Sorry if this is confusing, but I (24f) and my guy friend, let’s call him Jake (23m) have been friends a few years, and our relationship has always been complicated. He can be a real jerk to our friend group (he tends to blame this on being autistic), but he’s always let his wall down around me. I first thought he liked me when he started going out of his way for me; like offering to pick me up from work since I don’t drive, or going to workout classes with me, for example. And then again, when we were watching one of our shows, and I curled up under a blanket on the opposite side of the couch and he asked to share, and put his arm around me. Although, he moved after 5 mins.

But what has me believing this is what happened at our group friendsgiving on Friday. First of all, during dinner he tried to take my drink, and then I told him to ask me for a sip, which he did. Then we were discussing his dating life as a group, and then he said something like “I wouldn’t sleep with (insert my name), but I wouldn’t mind second base” and winked at me. Then, we were all talking on the couch, and I was tired, so I told him to move so I could elevate my feet. He told me to just put them on him, then he proceeded to wrestle me off him. He also took my drink out of my hand to drink from it, and then, while I was talking, hugged me.

Later, all the friends were on my balcony, and when we started to go inside I noticed Jake hanging back, so I asked if he was okay, and he said he held himself to too high of a standard, and he said he felt bad pushing me away because he liked talking to me and that it was easy to talk to me. There was a weird tension between us, and I mentioned I hadn’t seen him in a while so I missed him. He said something snarky, but then admitted to missing me too.

All of our friends thought there was something up. He’s also going to a football game with me alone that he originally declined because no one else could go. I feel like he likes me, but I don’t know.

Copied from my other account because I'm stupid and chose the wrong gender there:

Since the moment I've met him, he's had my undivided attention. If we weren't coworkers, I would have immediately asked him out.

At work, we constantly pick on and roast each other and laugh about inside jokes. A coworker noted our relationship as being obnoxiously sibling-like, but my boss was sure we'd end up dating.

Just recently though, I had to move away for work. At my going-away party, I became certain he treats me differently from others. We were all drinking so things are fuzzy, but I know he was glued to my side the entire night. And it was easy to catch eye-contact with him because he was looking at me a lot. At one point we had a conversation which became suggestive, and I was sure it was going somewhere, but then he said "i like ya, i love ya, but it would be weird". I dropped it because I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. After that it was back to picking on each other and having a good night with friends. Then, when we were the last two at the bar, he picked me up, carried me to the roadside, hugged me, said he'd miss me, and ran to his taxi. I was left confused on the sidewalk before heading home.

Then the night before I left, after saying goodbye to everyone, he drove me to my hotel. We hugged and said we'd miss each other, and just before I walked into the hotel lobby, he called out again to say he'd miss me. He sounded a little emotional.

I've been a wreck since then. Not knowing how he feels is messing with me. I can't figure out if we're just friends and he sees me as a sister, or if he feels the way I do. All I know is that I'm significant to him somehow.

Since I'm now a 4 hour plane trip away, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to confess. I'd get closure and, if he was open, I'd do long-distance in a heartbeat. But if he doesn't reciprocate, I've done something selfish and upset him with the burden of my feelings.

Maybe one of you can see this clearer.